RBB ★

Oh god, it really could. I don’t think anyone makes mix tapes anymore though, Rach…

Hey, I do. Well, mix CDs. Mix playlists, even. Just ask Fi.

Ahh, sorry Babe! What can I say, the dog’s got swag!! But he doesn’t have your pipes. He’s also got a real messy autograph so I think you win there too. 

I’m much neater at meal times. And I’m a better kisser, too. Or so I’ve heard.

Frankly I’m appalled by the citizen of our great city. Cute dogs are a dime a dozen – RBB on the other hand, one of a kind. 

To be fair, Pupfasa is not just a cute dog. He’s my stepdog, which makes him cutest. King among cute dogs, if you will. But I appreciate the sentiment. I can always count on my PR person - slash - bodyguard to do right by my ego.

Oooh, first spontaneous autograph sesh. You have Arrived. (Y’know… ignoring the whole starring in your own show that was probably the first indicator.) How did it feel? 

I’m glad it happened after a solid month of stagedoor practice - my freehand star drawing has really blossomed in the last few weeks, and I’m sure they appreciated it. It felt fantastic but I’m not sure I liked it more than a good stage door session. Quantity vs. quality, it’s not an easy choice.

You just be sure you remember that I’ve lived with you for three years and haven’t killed you. You’re on the brink of stardom because of my self-restraint. Include that in your Tony acceptance speech.

You’re on the current draft of my acceptance speech, but I suppose I can add in that the only reason I’m here today is because you’ve stopped yourself from killing me. I’m sure my fans would appreciate it. You may receive some thank you gifts.

Really? That’s awesome, Rachel! It’s a great start to a great year ahead. You’ll start getting more requests until you’re overwhelmed by them.

Oh, Pupfasa is definitely the cutest dog. I’d have been much less understanding if it’d have been a lesser pup overshadowing my star power, but I can’t really blame anyone for focusing on him. 

tmw...

As far as awkward ex presents go, it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been a voucher for a friendly coffee date, or netflix and chill. Or a mixtape. You should count your blessings, my friend.

So, I might have just gotten lost in Star Wars mania and holiday stuff, but I’m alive, I swear! 

The only star wars I’m interested in are the ones I can read about in Broadway biographies, but I must say BB 8 is the kind of content I don’t mind letting Fee pick date movies for. I'm still not completely sure I get why Skinny Darth Vader hated the new Natalie Portman or why his tantrums were relevant on a galactic level, but I think when we give Tony and Pupfasa a sibling it should be a cute round little droid.

Happy New Year, friends and those of you I just barely tolerate. I’ll be braving the herds tonight to get my party on in Times Square. Hopefully they don’t trample me. If so, make sure history remembers me as beautiful.

Happy New Year! How was your Times Square experience?