doc

Invite them in

theyre vampires

so invite them in

This is the absolute best post ever. The citizens of Pawnee are my heroes.

As exaggerated as this is , I work in Parks and Rec and some of these are not far off.

cats are only reifying binary notions of indoors/outdoors by repeatedly meowing to get in and then out again

improvise. adapt. kill ancient gods

read several books on how best to appreciate scenery

something something Great Gatsby

i arrive at the gay bar in full butch getup and i look like super hot like trust me and i start buying chocolate milk for the femmes at the bar…..between my striking good looks and my generosity concerning tasteful dairy products i have impressed them greatly and after an hour of chatting I make my move. i reach into my pocket and remove a large, gorgeous lichen affixed to a piece of bark from its protective herbarium packet that I have concealed in my pants pocket. “it’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae,” i begin,

You say shitpost but I swear to god I would pick up the U-haul on our way home from the bar don’t try me