sunrise angel

omg we are both fucked in the head wanna make out

a relationship: i show you memes and you laugh

Seduce me with your knowledge of serial killers

ok but did he deliver

i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me

Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Make his dick hard not his life

Break her bed not her heart

play with her boobs not her feelings

Get on his dick not his nerves.

always salt your pasta while boiling it 

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

I hate when people ask what I would do in their situation bc 9 times out of 10 I would literally never be in that situation in the first place

how do people who don’t use adblock get anything done

seeing the hot russian girls who want to get to know me fills me with confidence and a drive i would not have otherwise