NO STAN, YOU LOOK GREAT.

correlation is not causation, ghosts are drawn to poison and weakened minds

the best part of each x-files episode is waiting for the end to see who's gonna do the sign off report cause when it's scully it's usually something like "once again, despite my partner's opinion to the contrary, i cannot confidently say that there is any scientific basis to the theory that alien ghost blood was responsible for the disappearance of the crack in the liberty bell" meanwhile if it's mulder we get gems like "are we alone in the universe? what does it truly mean to be alone? did bigfoot fuck the speaker of the house? as always i am left with more questions than answers and don't know who to trust and i think scully changed her shampoo and..."

@elodieunderglass

louis...that vile creature you insist on calling your daughtersister keeps pointing at different bugs on the sidewalk and saying "that's you". how do i make her stop. louis this is most vexing. she said i was a slúg, louis. a horrible slimy slúg. i am not a slug. i am like a venemous butterfly. tell her i am like a butterfly, louis.

they should invent falling alseep that doesnt take 3 hours