i am that bixch @lesighh - Tumblr Blog

I need to channel like at least half the energy I have for this individual who is completely off limits to the one that is on limits. Feelings are wack.

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wandasmaximoff

#a look #elementary #lucy liu

jehovahhthickness

Praying that all of your abusers, rapists, and bullies die this year.

girlpwerr

praying that instead they all can realize they’ve done wrong and they repent for their actions and while they definitely shouldn’t be forgiven, they still strive to better themselves and try to right all of their wrongs

jehovahhthickness

Fuck all that bullshit.

I don’t have time for growth. Run me that soul

karkittysbeats

“Run me that soul”

initially i thought feeling consumed and feeling lonely were opposing emotions. now i recognize that they're two sides of the same coin.

don-sosa

Ruby is me and I am Ruby

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onmyblockcaps

#actually i'm dying quick nvm #on my block

onmyblockdaily

A shallot, my genius brother, is a type of onion. A botanical variety of the species Allium cepa. Who are you?

#dies slowly #on my block

criteria-deactivated20190528

blessedmoonsoul

if this scene alone doesnt convince u to watch ON MY BLOCK on netflix then idk what to tell you

i think i need a s/o if only to direct some of my attention from my friends to another person outside of my friends. i'm giving too much right now (without feeling grounded in the friendship) and as a result, i'm hypersensitive to change and how i may be negatively impacted bc of it. i can't even take genuine part in their new joys bc i'm so focused on the possibility of being left behind. i don't want to become less important to them. and what i haven't said yet is that i'm already seeing differences - things they're doing for/with others that they wouldn't do for me. and i anticipated it to a certain extent, but to see it inklings of it come to fruition makes me go into hardcore self-protection mode. the last thing i want to feel is hurt & abandonment.

this all sounds v selfish i'm sure, but it's where i'm at right now, so the best i can do is own it. so, like i said, i need to not be as invested. and i am making new friends, but the problem is that my friends in question have noticed that i'm distancing. there isn't a quick, quiet, or undisruptive way to protect myself.

i dunno. i think i need assurance. i need my friends to make me feel like they need me, like i have a place/fill a void that no one else could. to not compartmentalize me. to show me that they're all in with me. to make me feel secure in our friendship.

but i can't ask for that. that's too much vulnerability - not only expressing need (weakness), but also opening myself up for real disappointment. i've been thru it before and i vowed never again. and furthermore, i don't have the capacity to handle the latter, especially with these people. it would probably devastate me.

so here i am, depositing my feelings on the internet, trying to focus my attention on the million other things i have to do, and thinking about reprioritizing the people in my life so i'm better equipped to handle change. lol. stay tuned.

#on friendship

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cliffordmemes77-blog

slimdaddymbaku

American healthcare system be like

tubacondom

I️ fucking hate this

uuddlrlrba-start

definitely made by a non-american with VERY little understanding of our healthcare system

there, I fixed it

urbanestateofmind

“she’s strong but she’s exhausted”

— r.h. Sin

lesighh

sometimes friendship problems feel so intense. i feel like vomiting but i just have to remind myself that i will survive no matter what happens.

lesighh

if you wait long enough, the intensity transforms into sadness which transforms into cold detachment & anger.

but it’s hard bc i keep second guessing the validity of my feelings. the contention is that my feelings are overbearing, hence the guessing. is this what it feels like to be gaslit? bc if i think about this situation too hard, i feel like i’m going crazy.

i don’t know what conclusion this will come to. i barely know the conclusion i want. i do know that the more you mishandle my feelings, the harder it is for you to come back from. and when i cut a person off, I do so hard.

lesighh

we talked last week and we're trying to be friends again, but it's different. we don't talk as much and our convos are very short instead of ongoing. most days i'm ok w this new normal, but every so often i'm like 'wow, i miss my old friend.' oh well.

a-titty-ninja

theirisianprincess

DID HE MAKE IT??

imnotafraidofhospitals

he makes it

theirisianprincess

THANK FUCKING GOD

lesighh

sometimes friendship problems feel so intense. i feel like vomiting but i just have to remind myself that i will survive no matter what happens.

lesighh

if you wait long enough, the intensity transforms into sadness which transforms into cold detachment & anger.

but it's hard bc i keep second guessing the validity of my feelings. the contention is that my feelings are overbearing, hence the guessing. is this what it feels like to be gaslit? bc if i think about this situation too hard, i feel like i'm going crazy.

i don't know what conclusion this will come to. i barely know the conclusion i want. i do know that the more you mishandle my feelings, the harder it is for you to come back from. and when i cut a person off, I do so hard.

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming