Lesbionicle

LesBionicle is the internet's premier sapphic Bionicle recap podcast

Listen as a lesbian and a bi woman re-read/watch/play the media published for LEGO's early 2000s-2010s Bionicle toyline, and talk about what the heck was going on with these weird little LEGO guys

Listen on Spotify or iTunes!

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Your illustrious hosts:

Minnesota State Legislature Shootings (an episode we released two months after recording due to Nausi’s job search and Emma learning how to use audacity)

Naus Gets Pessimistic About Protests (ends at 4:30)

Naus’s Third Amendment Kink (begins at 4:30)

Falklands War Discourse

Nausicaä would like to apologize to the people of Argentina

Deltarune 3&4 Thoughts

The Return Of The Exposition Rocks

Ebeneezer Scrooge Fit Check

The Makuta Rock

Lhikan Alone

Nidhiki Fumbles Bad Bitches Harder Than Anyone Ever Has

The Great Spirit of Civilization

Dume As Saruman

Social Stratification and Inferior Discs

More Irish Le-Matoran

Introducing Ideologies To Mata Nui’s Brain

Communism Vaccine

Nidhiki: Poor Little Meow Meow

Vakama Is Anxious In Public

Why Do They Have This Device In Metru Nui?

Naus’s Ashitaka Demon Arm

They Fly Now?!

Nidhiki Found With She/Her Pronouns In Poland

Wanking Himself With The Demon Arm

Exerting Elvis Privilege

I Bet It Feels Good As Hell To Fuse Disks Together

Overthinking Spirit Stars

Kikanalo: Good Beasts

Toa Replacements

Who gave Onewa this power?

What Mewing Should Mean

Makuta’s Vore Moment

Queering the Beam/Portal Dichotomy

Spotify

Sorry that you can hear both of us clicking on our goddamn mice throughout this. Discussion topics:

Alcohol LARPing

Airplane Podcasting

Bionicle In Louisiana

We Address The Acadian Expulsion

Why Vahki Have Bone In It

The Existential Horror of Being a Teenager

The Time Tunnel

The Matoran Walk Into A Trap

Turaga Frederick of Prussia-Koro

Figuring Out What To Do With Adulthood

WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR HOUSE

Archimedes’ Conundrum

Matoran Board Games

“I’m Not Going To Shoot You For A Newbery Medal”

Nuparu Bioengineering

Offscreen Toxic Yuri

The Metru Nui Social Ladder

The Klingon Scientist Problem

Rahkshi Recontextualization

The Teenage Loneliness Tunnels

Beth of the Author

Trans-inclusive sports misogynist

Teenager’s First Betrayal

The Demon Zoo

Mark Twain v. William of Baskerville

Illusions Guy Matau

Planning to Outwit Shapeshifters, Fair Folk, and Walruses

Or All the Seas with Oysters

The Sea Was Wet as Wet Could Be

Elementary Translation

Metru Nui Public Transit

Nuju, Peacemaker By Grump

A Surprise Girl That Will Help Us Later

The Sub-Urbanites

The One True Libertarian In All Canada

Seatsafetyswitch (https://seatsafetyswitch.com/post/173031559253/detomaso-pantera-honourable-death-like-tim)

Stealing The Copper Wiring From The Government

The Hilbert Scrotum

Metru Nui Recap Comics (https://www.tumblr.com/leroleroart/751391026366873600/depression-comic)

Not The Best News The Toa Had Heard All Day

Toa As Sudden Teenagers

Through Vakama’s Eyes

As You Know, The Legend of the Great Disks

Protagonist-Centered Knowledge

Cool Teen Mask Powers

Closeted Vakama

Matau Follows The Noble Eightfold Path

Vakama’s Dalliance With The Morbuzakh

Vahki Police Brutality

Summary Comix

The Rahi Bestiaries

Metru Nui Archives Negligence Suit

The Mystery of the Bionicles Lunchables Comics

Vahki Don’t Know What Toa Are

Onewa Police Brutality

A Well-Drawn Morbuzakh

A Shining Metru On A Hill

Why Do Vahki Have Bone In It?

Managed to upload this episode and then not make a post about it for like a month, like an idiot (Emma)

iTunes

Christmas Shopping

The God Damn! News!

Do Matoran Have Tailgate Parties?

Hot Rock Grilling

Explaining the Horrors To Brits

Matau, Dying of Urban Decay

Turning the Freaking Frogs Marvel

To the Best Jordan Peterson Impression

Naus Starts Kinning Whenua

Writing Smart Characters

An Official Lesbionicle Video Game Recommendation

The Boston of Metru Nui

Emma Gets Executed By Molasses

Hand In Unverifiable Hand

The Extent of the Archives

Metru Nui’s Realistic Inefficiencies

Po-Metru Union-Mandated Break

We Digress About Childhood Experiences With Media That, Impossibly, Weren’t Bionicle

Emma Becomes Nuju

Philately

Makuta’s Rahi Testing

Monster-Vision POV

The Further Realistic Inefficiencies of Metru Nui

Rot Symbolics

I’ve Made A Plant That Grieves

Nausicaä’s Inner Child’s Quicksand Startup

Friendship Fusion Doujinshi

Akhmou Continues To Be Really Well-Written

Grover Cleveland, Blood Boogers, and Human Resilience

Bionicle to the Future II

Man Who Has Never Seen Cops

The Fire Pits

Metru Nui Alienation From Labor

Living In An Unconscious God

Yaoi in the Archives

Vahki Stun Staffs Reifying Racial Hierarchies

https://www.tumblr.com/crystaltoa/732480476314517504/interesting-to-think-about-what-each-vahki-stun

Matau’s Lungs

Nidhiki’s Meat Pumpkin

Fire Absorption

Darkseid and Makuta

Reconstitutes At Random

Giving the Morbuzakh a Little Kiss

Nuju’s First Day As a Superhero

Whenua’s Horror Acceptance Conditioning

Good Bionicle Worldbuilding

Bionicle/Control/Zaboomafoo Parallels

Nokama Controls Her Fear

Do Bionicles Sweat?

Le-Metru Urban Decay

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Send us mail at [email protected]

Sorry Nausicaä sounds like shit again; laptop issues.

Lawn Binary

Generational Humor Differences

A Kind Of Heavy Episode Start About Parental Failure

We Saw The TV Glow

Justice For Ehrye

The Dystopian Implications of Shitty Matoran

Sports Dad Makuta

Onewa’s Real Power

Wahlburgers Containment Procedures

Naus Solves Comedy

Emma Makes a Good Nokama Character Analysis and I Forget to Acknowledge It

Trapped In An Adventure Game

Ehrye’s Promotion Chances

Nuju’s Blobfish Emotional Problems

Matau Railfan Moment

Matau Character Study

Orkahm Would Have Survived MAG 02 “Do Not Open”

What If Nidhiki Survived?

At Least You Can Discuss the Morbuzakh

Disco Metru Nui

Matau Learns About Consequences

Onewa: Mad And/Or Vindicated

The Po-Metru Conceptual Art Scene

We Praise Akhmou’s Writing

Matau Takes Public Transit

Morbuzakh Timescales

Your Parents I Mean Turaga Are Flawed

Follow us on Tumblr at lesbioniclepod

Follow us on Twitter at lesbioniclep, maybe Emma will start posting episodes on it again

Send us mail at [email protected]

Preschooler Snacks

Bionicle Power Mukbang

Podcast Gnosis

Initial Bionicle Exposure

Illegal Lego Techniques

Gol D. Roger’s Life-Sized Keerakh

The Progression of Bionicle Edginess

Your Thesis Advisor’s Criminal Escapades

Unprepared Adult Toa

God’s MRI Scan

Kapura is Here

Cherchez le Ahkmou

Vakama’s Moral OCD

Bionicle Material Culture

God’s MRI Scan

Fantasy Normality

Emma Explains Brat Summer

Metru Nui Sports Inconsistency

Toa Metru Day Jobs

Nausicaä Fails to Craft Her Bionicle Dream Blunt Rotation

The Inherent Homoeroticism Of Matching Discord Statuses

Onu-Metru Archive Collection Policies

The Greater Metru-Nui Pewku Owners’ Polycule

An Impassioned Defense of Vhisola

Vhisola’s Weird CILF Thing

Doors Aren’t Real

The Inherent Existential Dread in Vahki Pronouns

Watsonian and Doylist Vahki Design Thoughts

Nokama’s Struggles

Matoran OSHA

The Process of Mask-Making

Vakama’s Mentor Trauma

Whenua Is In Terry Gilliam’s Brazil

Turaga Mask Characterization

Bohrok Falling Out of the Nest

National Treasure IV

Whenua and Nuju’s Job Qualifications

We Reach a Greater Understanding of Tolkien

Milf Gender Euphoria

Velveteen! is in Howl’s Moving Castle

Sondheim’s Updated Assassins

The Goddamn USPOL

Akhmou’s InfoWars

Palpatine’s Journey

Hahli Scuttling

Interminable Crafting Systems

The Goddamn Linguistics

Akhmou Learnt His Lesson! :)

Video Game Crunch Culture

Hahli’s Daoist Amnesia

The Virtue of Purity

Fire Toa Character Analysis

Trans Filipino Queen Lewa

Kopaka’s Coping Mechanisms

Vegan Butthole Substitute

We Solve Matoran Economics

Adorable Heterosexuality

Matoran Linguistic Expansion

Nuju Has Transcended Language

Nausicaä’s Divorce Proceedings

Makuta Does SEO To Us

Draconian Blood Baby (antisemitism warning around 8:30-9:00)

The Accidental Transgenderism of Takua

Wet Ass Kraata

Irish Microconfusion

Vakama’s Eyebrows

Jaller Nationalism Moments

Batman Throwing Swords At A Cop

Kolhii Match Relationship Drama

Play Well!

Boulder Scorekeeping

Pondering the Great Thoughts

A Discursion on Transsexual Seinfeld

Naus Has A Full Breakdown About All Dogs Go To Heaven

Disney Protestant Reformation

Gukko Bird Design

They Fly Now?!

On the Flammability of Barbasol

Matoran Script Easter Eggs

Why Doesn’t Kopaka Use Ice?

Satan Tried To Get Me To Detransition

Doing Onua Dirty

Tahu BDSM Moment

Takua’s Impression of Gali

Naus Gets Heterosexual About Takua/Jaller

Slimegirl Makuta

Bionicle Theodicy

Reflections on the Mask of Light Movie

This episode was recorded on Nausicaä's Bluetooth mic, like a dumbass. Sorry for how she sounds.

HR Giger Dog Armor Friday (on a Tuesday) https://zegalba.tumblr.com/post/723318622832984064/hr-giger-armor-for-a-dog-1968

4:00 – 7:30 Donald Trump Antipope

Fleetway Comics

The Secrets of Bovril

Lewa’s Adventure

Bionicle Spider-Man

Lewa’s Continued Transgender Stereotyping

The Turaga And Makuta And Our Parents Are Larping

Oops! Forgiveness Talk

Matau Character Study

Women’s Sports

Modeling Bionicle Play

Turaga Nuju Says That Folktale Is Shit

Have You Seen Our Puzzle?

Baja Blasts

Gali Confirmed For Puppygirl

Wet Dog Math

Vertical Beach Episode

Calvin’s Dad Specificity Principle

Where Did That Prophecy Come From?

He/Him Macku

Bionicles Do Get Grounded!

What Our Evil Scientists Are Doing

Does Akio Ohtori Have A Thesis Advisor?

Jaller’s Anxieties

The Magic Art of Sightseeing

Tahu Says A Fucking Sentence

The Buffification of Toa Tahu

The Meta-Aware Chandra Nalaar Theory

Mom Says It’s My Turn To Be The Toa-Hero

The Neotenous Matoran Theory

We Finally Discover Bionicle’s Vriska

iTunes

Alex Jones’ Judgment of Paris

A Rhubarb and Stock Futures Podcast

Surface Pressure

Gali’s 14-Year-Old Girl Behavior

A Cave Of One’s Journal

Nokama: A Realistic Flawed Person

Gali: A Realistic “Emotionally Intelligent Friend”

Nausicaä and Emma Earn an Iron Urn

Do Bionicles Make Tea?

Bionicle Scorpion and the Frog

The Kaiser Wilhelm Scream

Garteposting

Do Bionicles Smoke Weed?

A Glorious Final Stand

Laios’ Bionicle Adventures

You Could Always Draw An Amoeba

Fetch Quests

Demiurge Crabs

Emma’s Kraata Story

At Least One Bionicle's Fear Of Shame

Bohrok Smell

Kanohi Avicii

Bionicle Jesuses

Manga Inspirations

Vakama’s Legend Reflexes

The Mating Dance of the Rahkshi

A Weird Wal-Mart Parking Lot To Die On

Ceiling-Based Horror

Explaining Cannibalism To Children

Takua is June Egbert

Maria Dahvana Headley Bionicle

Nuju’s Bird Slur

Onewa’s Hands-Off Parenting

Baby’s First Themes

Tumblr Sexyman Vakama

Pohatu Du Bois

The New Canadian Armed Forces Insignia (⁠The logo⁠)

Would The Toa Mata Survive The Terror?

Why Are You, As A Toa-Hero, Looking At Other Toa-Heroes’ Biceps?

Jordan Peterson’s Muppet Brainbent

Kopaka/Pohatu Danmei

Meditations on the Nature of Experience

Whenua Being a Good Teacher

Wii Sports Bionicle

Emma gets put in a Jayeazy situation

Detransition, Toa

Do Bionicles Take Baths?

Further Reading:

⁠Transformation, Horror, Eros, Phyrexia⁠