sue me, im on island time

i’m just saying aragorn son of arathorn oh im sorry STRIDER (one of them rangers what his right name is i never heard etc etc) didn’t need to be that sexy at the prancing pony. like ostensibly he’s trying to lay low but even dipshit little [relatively] eighteen y/o frodo is like hey what’s the deal with that extremely ostentatiously sexy man in the corner

“you draw far too much attention to yourself ‘mister underhill’” if i were frodo i wouldve snapped. jesus christ. i can’t help that i’m two feet shorter than everyone else in this definitely definitely 100% a gay bar but at least i didn’t lurk in a sexy corner making eyes at everybody from under my cloak at least im TRYING to pretend i’m not a protagonist you fine ass idiot. i KNOW i’m being pursued by the black riders which is why i didn’t SERVE CUNT from the SHADOWS. the fellowship of the nerve of this bitch

You’re either having a Coke with me or having a Coke against me

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

Why was it executed

Me when i want to fucking watch blue but that stupid bitch wants to watch red

Do most of these people perhaps live in a cartoon?

at work the other day i was cutting up avocados and one had a tiny seed and i was like to my coworker “me when i have a tiny seed” and she said “i dont know what that means”

same coworker today she was portioning mustard pickles and i said if i had an old italian man as a pet that would be the slop id put in his trough. and she didnt really like that one either