take my revolution

I think it's funny how the marketing for tvl was like "the music is awesome! Rock star lestat" and then the first episode everyone, including lestat, is like "this shit is middling to bad"

wow okay i'm sorry that you find me so unsettling and hard to be around because i look almost exactly the same as i did before i died but something just isn't quite right and my personality isn't the same as i was in your (honestly pretty unfaithful and self centered!) memories of me and you're kind of starting to regret raising me from the dead. as if it's my fault 🙄

like aww did somebody think that everything would just go back to normal and nothing would change? is someone upset that they have to make an effort to get to know me as i am and not as i was? that must be so hard for you. well you know what they say, you can dig me up but you can't just bury me again if you don't like what you reanimated!

if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.

you cut me in line at the grocery store and next time you see me im wearing the collar your dead childhood dog used to wear

im a supervillain in a spy film and i spin around in my leather chair to reveal that the thing i am stroking villainishly is my own bush

god 50 years ago you really could go see a trashy b-movie and it still had gorgeous cinematography, lighting and set design, fun costumes and makeup, and now a hollywood production could have 80 million dollars thrown at it only for it to look like a drawn-out tv commercial for laundry detergent

No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny

posts that are significantly funnier with timestamps. what the fuck was i doing on christmas posting this

iwtv seasons one and two was like being tucked into bed and read a heartbreaking story by Louis du pointe du lac. The Vampire Lestat is like your blackout drunk uncle trying to tell you an anecdote at a family gathering