Baffled, but happy

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

I don't think dust needs to exist personally

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

a hoe never gets lyme disease

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

are you a male ski jumper alleged to be pursuing marginal gains that could yield up to a 5-8 metre increase in flight distance or are you just pleased to see me

Hey you wanna come over and dip bread into olive oil and balsamic vinegar and such?

The whole "the Old Magic actually sucks because material conditions have advanced" thing, but applied to cinematic martial arts. No, yeah, the legends are true, that move used to explode a man's entire skeleton, but you need to understand that people had more fragile bones back then. Poor nutrition, you see.

This five-point meridian strike is meant to make your head burst like an overripe melon, but it turns out it only works on people who have peripheral nerve damage from chronic vitamin B12 deficiency, which everyone did at the time it was developed. If you take your multivitamins it just makes your ears ring.