Kabelo Gary

Verse one: the only person who, I know loves me no matter what although I turn to run lose sometimes and drive everyone around me insane but to you no-word in the dictionary can explain what you mean to me. Mean more than the world to me, I wanna thank you for carrying me all those long nine months and finally gave birth to me June 4th ‘89 cold Sunday from that day on nobody ever thought that this boy would grow-up to be this old, look at me now I am a man mum and it’s all thanks to you. I won’t be here if it wasn’t for you, all the sacrifices you made. You risked your own life to see to it that I live my own life. I give you my own life to see to it that you live forever cuz you deserve better and I love you forever, without you I’m nothing and I thank you for that

Chorus: look at me now

I’m a man now

Look at me mum

Verse two: I love you mum dearest dearly and it hurts me to think that not all of us have one, there some of those who have none and only a few could say they have two, I guess I’m lucky to have you. A person to call mum and dad, it’s not funny, it’s actually sad cuz it takes two to make one. Thanks to that no good father of mine, he conceived me but never considered being a father to me but enough of that, he wasn’t a dad and that’s that, what’s done is done. We can not change that, gotta look forward and forget the past, I admire the fact that you gave it your all to give us the best through out the struggle, you still kept on hustling. I love you for real and I promise to give you the best even if it means I have to rob and steal. Thank You mum

Chorus

Verse three: she is black and strong

She is beautiful

She is all woman

She is my mum

Friday afternoon after work, I decide to visit my friend who stays in Diepsloot, I get to the taxi rank and there’s a queue/ second last in the line there’s a cute girl and I just said to myself i have to talk to her/ I go straight to her and ask if that is the queue for Diepsloot 4&7, which she answered yes/ I join the line and I stare at her from head and bottom/ I wanted her to see that I am staring and I do not intend to look away/ she looks at me, I look right back at her straight into her eyes

After what felt like a long time waiting eventually a taxi came/ we sat at the back seat but there was a wall (someone) in between us which made all impossible to talk to her/ It is Friday i am tired from work and the drive there is quite long plus traffic is just terrible so I decide to sleep my way there so does she... I woke up just as we enter Diepsloot/ and the guy between us wakes her up so she does not miss her stop/ I overheard her saying she is getting off at 7 where the taxi ends and that is where my friend said I should get off/ FYI I do not know where I am going... as we drive through the place people getting even the great wall fell now there’s nothing standing in the way 

I said “I think I know you”

she responded by “you have a familiar face too”

I did not know that we have reached our destination/ she gets up and ask me are you not getting off/ I ask is this 7/ yes she says... okay/ we both got out of the taxi/ she can tell I was not familiar with the place/ it was dark no street lights/ I give her my phone to add her number to my contact as I call my friend with my another phone/ she gives me my phone and says she can not wait with as she has to rush to her place but I call her and tell her when I am home safe/ 

There is a tavern across the street from where I got off so I decide to go there and grab one whilst waiting for my friend/ just as I open my beer, my friend arrives/ we buy more beers and head to his place/ we get to his place I put my bag away/ we sit outside and starts drinking, one of his buddy come join us/ it is all good, it has been over an hour since parted ways with that a girl, I had forgotten to call her, immediately I do so/ after 3/4 rings she picks up...

- her “hello” 

- me “hi, this is so and so, I was in the taxi with you blah-blah”

- her “oh hey i recognize your voice, what’s up?”

*what a relief* she recognizes my voice

- me “uhmm what’s up, you tell me what’s up, I am in your hood, what are you doing?”

- her “I am having an early night” 

- me “jeez an early night why, it is Friday”

- her “I am going to school tomorrow”

- me “and what time will you come back from school”

- her “8am to 4pm”

- me “damn it is not an option for me to ask you out tonight”

- her “I know right, but i can see you when i come back”

- me “maybe not I might leave before you come back”

- her “well if i do not, i will see you in Alex, i exchange my taxi there everyday fro/ to work”

- me “alright then goodnite”

- her “goodnite, do not drink too much”

end the call back to drinking, we drank through out the night/ i do not know what time i went to sleep...

Saturday came, I am hang over, the time is after 9am, we still have a few beers in the fridge/ I am contemplating whether to have one or not, I eventually do not have any/ we decide to braai as always when one is having a braai, you start with the chicken when the chicken was done only then did i have a drink/ vodka + Windhoek draught = time flies/ before you know it was after 5pm and i have not had a bath so i take one quick and decided i will spend another night there since my friend said his girlfriend is not coming

Since i am here one more night why not give her a call and try to hook up... ring...ring a lovely and sweet tone answered “hi there”/ “hey what are you up to?”/ “nothing”/ “hey i decided to spend another night here so can we meet”/ “yeah sure, we can meet where the taxi dropped us”/ “okay, let’s, provided that i do not get lost”/ laughter came after that followed by let’s meet in 5 minutes

This is how my December went like:

My younger brother came to visit all the way from Limpopo, I went to pick him up at his moms (my aunt) in Sandton, from there to my place which in Riverpark (Alexandra)/ We get there the first thing he notice is my Xbox and ask do i have FIFA, yes I do... We play a game, I am thinking I am going to teach him a lesson, shit did not go my way as the master was taught a lesson...

Fast Forward to the weekend I invite my friend to a game of bowling with my younging lol it was a fun game as my young brother came second and came first, this was probably his second time bowling and he managed to score higher than my friend whom i go bowling with at least twice in a month

How the rest of the another days went, there were all the same, me: work/ buys take-aways - him: Xbox til late in the evening by that time I am far into my sleep

Came the Monday of the 14th, my cousin who stay in Alex as in the Heart of Alex/ The Ghetto or Kasi as We call it... calls me she needs help with her luggage since she is coming home for the holidays so I go there straight after work and mind you this where I used to stay where I was unemployed so the locals know me/ I get there and guess who is with my cousin: this girl(i haven’t smashed) I had an on/off relationship while I stayed there/ she is happy to see me so am i to her  

After helping my cousin so it just me and her so the conversation started:

Her: since you moved why haven’t come visit?

Me: eish I been plan to but something always comes up

Her: yeah something comes up like that girl i saw you ko pan

Me: * i just smiled*

Me: so what are you doing now? 

Her: nothing I was going to bath and probably watch tv then sleep

Me: how about we go to my place since you haven’t been there then we will go get something to eat on your back plus you can bath there

Her: me bath at your place (sorry) i do not blue eyes from your girlfriend (s)

nonetheless we ended up at my place... oh my younger brother was at my sister’s for the day, i had told my sister i am going to help my cousin with her bags so i will pick him up late

What’s that say #KeDecemberBosso so i had a bottle or two at my place so i offer her a drink: Southern Comfort with Red bull or Vodka and Cranberry, she explains how she is allergy to caffeine so she can’t have the Southern Comfort/ two shots of vodka/ one shot lemon/ three crushed ice and cranberry shake it up and serve her, i only had the Red bull wasn’t feeling like alcohol

Before i forget i had started running bath water for her so half way her drink ( i do not remember how the conversation went like) all i recall was grinding on me fully clothed then we started kiss, one thing led to another, we ended up on my bed *finally after all those years i smashed* baby soft skin i must say. I love my sex wild and she is the make love type of girl so we make -Fucking-Love- then we shared a bath after by now the time was half nine and there’s no taxi in Riverpark this time so we had to walk to Tsutsumani which is where my sister stays so i decided rather lets go fetch my younger brother then together... we will go get food

I am her last born, she has both my sisters from the same man, I believe as adult myself today I have a son whom I conceived in high school and I might not have a relationship with the mother that was my first child, another child(ren) after that I will have a relationship with the mother and them so how is it that my mother had both my sisters older than me from the same man meaning this person knew what she was doing with her second baby

So if your second baby is not a mistake how the fuck is your third and last born a mistake.

Okay whatever I had a happy childhood so I think I didn’t ask too much questions, I had everything I wanted, the problem came when I was doing my last year of high school and I asked about my father

I went not knowing my father to my father dying in a month

2006 I will never forget that that year, I asked about my father then apparently my mother organized a meeting, I traveled to Johannesburg for a weekend to meet my father, I had no exams Thursday - Monday, taxi to jozi... Friday when I got there, my mom made a phone and for first only and last time i spoke to my father and he said he’d come tomorrow, tomorrow came, he didn’t. Sunday I had to go back to the village.

It’s whatever focus on my exams, a week later I had maths study-group and I got a call from my sister “the first born” telling that my father apparently had passed away

Okay wait what. I’ve had felt pain because when people die, I felt nothing to this day I still don’t feel anything, I’m still in the same state I was when I got that call, it hasn’t registered, it can’t it doesn’t make fucken sense