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“No,” he quickly said, perking up at the sudden bite in her tone. “No, I…got a phone call recently.” He scratched at the back of his head, averting his eyes to the ground. “I was keeping my distance. And then I heard and I took the first flight I could.”

There was a time when invasive wasn’t a word that existed between them. They had been seamless, weirdly connected in a way she’d never actively acknowledged until he was gone, and they’d trusted each other implicitly, even if they never did define things between them.

His heartbeat filled his ears and while it threatened to escape his chest. Did that mean that the kid in her hand was? 

No, it couldn’t have. He disappeared. He kept in touch with Kelsey. She would have told him. Right?

“This is... Alex,” she said slowly, turning him slightly. “Alex, this is mama’s... friend... Jason. Can you say hi?”

Alex tilted his head over, dirty blond locks shaking away from his little face, to look at Jason, confusion written all over his features. “Hi...” he waved, seeming a little shy then, before tucking his face into the crook of her neck.

Lennon smiled a bit and shifted her weight onto her other foot. “When did you...” she began once more, turning to look at Jason. “When did you get back? Or have you been here the whole time?”

He only planned this far with Kelsey’s information. Hell, he actually didn’t plan on ambushing her while she was babysitting. What the fuck was he thinking? Oh wait, he wasn’t. 

“You’re busy,” he said, “Clearly. I had so much shit to say but—crap, sorry. Cursing in front of kids.”

Oh, God. Great.

“No, wait,” she said quickly, her heart racing so quickly in her chest she thought it might fall off. “Please.” She repositioned Alex on her hip, hoping he wouldn’t turn around and leave. For all the emotions she’d felt after his departure, for all the things she was feeling now, ultimately it came down to this moment. To seeing him again and praying he wouldn’t leave again.

“Mama,” Alex looked over at her. “I’m hungry.”

His first low involved the loss of someone he thought he’d never lose, which led to him losing so much more than he thought he would in the long run. How’s that for vague for you?

He still doesn’t talk about it. Jason barely talked about anything; when he opened up about something, it was normally to her.

So for him to have to go without her made him feel like he lost the only family he had. Crap, no, he had family. He did. 

But she was his best friend and his sister and the person he wouldn’t hesitate taking a bullet for and she was just ripped away from him. 

Just like that. Gone. 

He thought he’d be okay. They were all supposed to be there for each other. But it all became too much for him. 

He was spiraling downward and didn’t want to take anyone with him. 

So he disappeared. He had to find himself. Had to form a Jason without Ames. 

Years later, he’s slowly getting there. 

So when he says he’s reached a new low in his life, he has. Why? Because this low included stalking his ex-girlfriend for almost a week, learning her routine from afar. 

(He had to thank the internet and a certain blonde outside of the country for the help.)

Something happened to him after the accident. Something after his downward spiral and the attempts at therapy. Jason became impulsive. Weirdly so. 

So when he spent a week stalking his ex-girlfriend, seeing her walking around with a child, he figured she had dropped all of her plans to become someone’s nanny. And that just left an uneasy feeling inside of him.

(He worried she didn’t reach her dreams because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live with that knowledge, too.)

So, newly weirdly impulsive Jason did what newly weirdly impulsive Jason knew how to do best—nothing that smart. 

Before he could realize it, his feet had him on a path that would surely ensue a one way collision with Lennon and whosever child she had taken to tending to lately. 

When he stopped, just in front of her and locked eyes with her, the thought of Kelsey killing him ran through his mind.

Jason, as in her baby’s father, as in her almost something, was standing right in front of her after nearly three whole years. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, because of all the times she’d imagined this moment (and she’d imagined it plenty), she never once thought it’d be like this, so out of nowhere. Though she, of all people, should know better than to think she could’ve planned something like this.

He threw an arm over Lennon’s shoulders and pulled her closer. What, you don’t watch TV with your more-than-friends friend like that? Either way, it’s not like it meant anything more than that. 

He made a promise to himself, when he first started college, that he would do everything he could to better himself. It was a miracle he even managed to get a scholarship in the first place. It didn’t come as a surprise to him when he spiraled his freshman year. What did was Ames in the form of his personal guardian angel coming to his rescue. 

They knew each other from around town, both having grown up in a place that wasn’t the best thing to look (or live) at. She had been there before for him, telling him that she believed he was capable of so much more…and she was right. 

There was something weirdly domestic about the way they were moving about the kitchen. She didn’t read too much into it, but it definitely struck her how comfortable they were around one another and how they could move so seamlessly as if they’d been doing this forever now. Her blush had yet to disappear and her cheeks still felt hot.

The ease of all of this was both starting to freak him out and fill him with comfort. He had that same feeling back when he and Ames started becoming friends, having lived on the same floor his freshman year. She’d often find him hiding out in the back of the lounge, avoiding his roommate for whatever reason. Not that his relationship with Ames was anything like his relationship with Lennon. Just the opposite. 

"Oh they do. The amount of times her mother’s asked me if he’s proposed yet is ridiculous. I think she forgets we’re still in college, sometimes," Jason said. 

"Maybe down the line or whatever. They seem like down the line types, right? Or something."

Lennon looked down at the skillet and spatula once he'd shut off the stove before setting it down on the counter beside her and moving on to grab another plate for herself and following him to the table, setting the plate of pancakes between them.