Everything Will Be Alright

One of my 2026 goals is to shop sustainably, so I’m trying to buy everything thrifted or second hand. I’m already not a big shopper, but with moving I need a bunch of home items now (apartments don’t come with lights up here??!), these are my successes so far from local thrift shops and Facebook marketplace. I had to reactivate my Facebook for this but maybe it’s worth it. My FB marketplace pickups haven’t been sketchy at all either!

The good news is now me and my imposter syndrome can stop stressing over if my architecture choices and presentation skills are good enough for the very vague asks I get. They said both my design and what I actually built and showed in my demo went far above and beyond what any other project has managed to build. The bad news is I made a lot of enemies because the other senior engineers on the call said what I built will automate us out of our jobs. I mean yeah, I agree, but why are you only mad now and not when we were automating the junior engineers out?

This is my latest food fixation, I cooked and ate this soup every day for a week straight but I’m still having intense cravings. Before I moved here I could DoorDash it, but in my new city it’s a little less diverse so I have to make it myself. I’m planning to try every brand combo I come across. So far I can only find these soup mixes at 99 Ranch Market so a 45 min drive minimum.

Weekend trip to NYC from a couple weekends ago. It was supposed to be a reunion with undergrad friends but 2 out of 3 backed out last minute. I was fully prepared to do it solo because my Amtrak tickets and hotel were past the refund date by time they cancelled but the last girl showed up! We hadn’t been in touch at all for over a decade so it was nice to have one on one time with her, she’s as amazing as I’d remembered. And since she went to grad school at Columbia she already knew where everywhere I wanted to visit was, we didn’t use GPS at all the whole trip.

Today I went on my second ever first date since moving here. I successfully broke it off with first Hinge guy after four dates with zero chemistry and he wasn’t mean about it at all! New hinge guy I’m 99% sure is gay but his profile says straight? There’s no option for “open to lavender marriage” on these apps, ugh.

I am yet again starting a fitness journey. I paused running in March to focus on moving and next thing I know it’s suddenly half a year later and I haven’t worked out even once. Writing this down so I can track how long it takes me to feel like I’m back in shape. I think it will take me 4 weeks, so end of August.

Work is going so terribly. I thought that by not going up for promotion I was accepting lower pay for keeping my same barely manageable responsibilities and some scraps of work life balance. That didn’t happen, now I have a mentee assigned to me that I’m responsible for getting promoted (to my level?? Doesn’t make sense!), I’m constantly writing up performance reviews for people who I’m technically managing I guess but are 20 years older than me and I’m doing never ending hiring interviews since everyone lies on their resume and when I finally hired someone he asked for a pay bump, we gave it, then he used our offer he already accepted to get a promotion at his current job and quit even though we were almost done onboarding. I don’t blame him at all I’m just mad I’m forced to put in all this work on my own time. So now I’m swamped in interviewing yet again and I can’t even touch my actual work so I’m starting to choose between sleep and meeting deadlines. And all for the lower pay and position I kept to avoid this exact thing.

Prince George’s County Memorial Library System

I’ve never been that into music artists (partially because of my crazy childhood where listening to music was a sin) but lately I’ve been loving Noah Kahan’s songs. I saw he was touring in DC and thought cool maybe I can go! Tickets are $500-$2500?! I’ve never been to an artist’s concert before but I have friends and coworkers that go all the time, are y’all just paying that?? Everyone is rich except me I guess?

Last week I went on my first date since moving. Before this my last date was way back in October during my road trip, so I had to refresh all my photos and change all my prompts now that I’m stationary again. I have a second date with the same person tomorrow and even though I don’t see any attraction or relationship potential so far I’m trying to be open minded and not picky. I only match with and talk to one person at a time, pay for myself and always rearrange my schedule to be available for them. If I’m still not interested after a few dates it’s okay to move on right? I don’t want to be one of those people that makes online dating a bad experience for others.

There were 2 couples sharing a table next to mine and from overhearing their conversation they were so similar to each other. I can’t imagine meeting strangers in the wild and discovering you got married the same year, both own Teslas, have traveled to a lot of the same countries and national parks, one person of each couple was a dentist and both couples owned rental properties. They talked for hours and just kept finding more and more things in common, I hope I can experience a connection like that in this lifetime.

My sweet, shy, reserved youngest sister who doesn’t drink, smoke, date, have piercings or ever show an inch of skin just got nine tattoos all at once. I was in shock when she told me. I was busy having a depression spiral the last couple of weeks but woah am I snapped out of it now. What do I even do? Ask if she’s seeing a therapist? Surely this is a sign of something, but what?

I hate this apartment and I hate owning things. I need to throw away everything I own.

I signed a lease for an apartment I’m not thrilled about, but I’m tired of searching and also tired of all my things being in storage in another state. I finally made it out to the apartment a week after starting the lease, and my parking garage sticker that I pay $275/mo for doesn’t work! The garage locks at night and that’s the only way in and out!

Frientimacy by Shasta Nelson