But it helps to hear you say it anyway

We've become obsessed with stim boards now, so I've made a glitter one for Tripster. Well glitter and just general shiny things, his favorites.

~ Mel

Prompts

Pr.oshippers and minors DNI.

(Tag list and image links below)

Leona's room was just next door, a modest pink room with stickers on the walls and a bunk bed set over a desk. The wood was white with the occasional nick here and there, the top containing a personalized and plugged in laptop in the center with a stuffed animal in one corner and a colorful pencil holder in the other. The drawers were full of craft supplies and notebooks, including Leona's diary, which I didn't dare read, though doubted I could, considering a small peak only revealed blank pages. There was also an entire drawer dedicated to attempts at origami animals.

No, trans men, nonbinary folk, and genderfluid, or similar individuals, are not "derailing" or "forcing" anyone to do anything when they, in their own posts, express how frustrating it is to grow up with staples like "girl nights out", "girly sleepovers", etc. only to suddenly be uninvited to these things after they learn they identify as something else later in life. Either that or they are invited, but it requires they allow themselves to be treated and viewed as a woman or referred to as "basically a woman", even if they do not identify as such.

And no, they are not saying you, a complete stranger on the internet, must allow them into your girl only activities or groups, nor does this mean these things can't be important to your specific experience with "girlhood". They're talking about an overall social trend that insists everything must be gendered that makes things difficult for trans people that aren't gender conforming, expressing how this has shown up in their day to day life.

As a genderfluid person, it's weird as Hell it feels like I have to treat myself as a woman, even if I do not identify as such at the time, just so I can chill with peers for a cute sleepover or to paint our nails or have deep emotional talks. It's confusing how activities are viewed with gender identity, equating the two. It's difficult to both prioritize my own comfort yet also be invited to anything because of how much people gender things.

However, I do think there is something to be said about how it feels like it's always the girl side of the equation that's being discussed, and not "boys night out" or "watching the games with the boys" or "going out for a drink with the boys", which all have the same problems. This is important to note because "girly things" have actively faced a lot more criticism over the years, and, in this instance, the trend of just gendering things all the time, in general, is the issue, not just specifically gendering them as "girl things". Even if you are specifically being uninvited to a girly slumber party, the idea that men don't go to girly slumber parties, they get a beer and watch the game, and insisting on forcing those who don't adhere to a gender or one gender into a specific part of the binary, contribute to this happening just as much.

Also, yes, there is a point where it is derailing and it is centering yourself. It is 100% not your place to judge the personal practices of strangers on the internet, and you have no idea why someone may call something a "girls night out", nor is them wanting to have a girls night out with their friends that identify as women or do not mind this term actively hurting anyone. Same goes for someone wanting to "hang with the boys" when referring to people who identify as boys or don't mind the label.

If I, a transgender woman, do not want to have to identify as a man or referred to as a man just to watch the game with friends, people should not have to identify as a woman to paint their nails and do things viewed as girly.

I also find this idea so weird and tied into this idea that women must be a certain way, because it sets such unrealistic expectations for what actual women are like. Yes, I know plenty of fellow women that enjoy makeup, dresses, plushies, and things viewed as feminine, but I also know women who love sports, physical activity, or going out for a drink, and I know plenty that are a mixture of both. Not everything associated with traditional "girlhood" is going to be satisfying to every woman. In the same vein, I know men who are exactly the same. So my "girl nights" are me and the girls doing stuff together, not specifically activities traditionally associated with that word.

Please look into the actual situation yourself, but if you feel the need to defend them, you need to reflect on that. Your first instinct to accidentally saying a slur (a name was misunderstood) should be "Oh God, I am so sorry, it won't happen again", not to laugh about it and repeat the word. They never gave a proper apology and there's a clear pattern of behavior here that can't be ignored.

I've been having trouble with insomnia, but despite that, I feel more comfortable drawing at night, although I sometimes have existential crises..