Leedsista

From Ao Tanaka labouring morning to night to Gabriel Gudmundsson shouting out the wife: it's not a normal World Cup, so it's made for Erling Haaland.

It might have drifted across the goal, it might have drifted into the goal, it might have dropped to one of the forwards rushing in, and Big Jack Charlton had only a split second to decide. He reached up, and punched the ball away from the goalmouth.

Football has no solution. It's an imperfect game about failure, and about emotions that can be bad as well as good and validate the fans either way. That's why I don't think Bielsa wants to be done with it just yet.

Too often in football nobody is happy, or only the worst people are happy, so if Pascal Struijk is happy and Leeds and Brighton and Georginio Rutter, let's just be happy too.

No Hecky, no party

Three former Leeds United managers went to the World Cup, one remains. And obviously that's the irritating one.

But at least Thomas Christiansen has plenty to feel proud of.

A Swedish fan suggested Northern Ireland get themselves ready for West Germany in training:

'To prepare yourselves you should collect many small boys with cow bells, cow horns and other instruments to keep up a steady racket.'

Watching Antoine Semenyo, and thinking, maybe we should have given Dave Hockaday another chance. Are these the fantasies a World Cup is supposed to give us? Maybe Leeds fans have no other kind.

Wilbur Cush was an ironic new hero for the Peacocks, a 5ft 4in 'pocket Hercules' taking over from 6ft 3in 'Adonis of a youth' John Charles.

But he'd caught Leeds' eye in an international for Northern Ireland, when he had tamed John Charles' attempts for Wales.

At a Uruguayan FA summit, with five of his coaching staff on chairs and sofas alongside him, Marcelo Bielsa gave a presentation about what, he said, "we do in our free time".

"Not doing it is worse than doing it. So we do it."

Gabriel Gudmundsson was asked what exactly had been wrong with him, and replied, "I don’t want to go into it. It’s better to keep it secret."

Which came to my mind when Marcelo Bielsa told the press: "I believe there's a limit in terms of what we need to explain."

Marcelo Bielsa was asked, what would be a good World Cup for Uruguay this time?

“My expectations are the highest," he said.

"I dream — so I’d better not answer that."

John Charles was a proud Welshman who, like many footballers, loved representing his country. He faced a barrier to his international aspirations, though, because he was the best player in the world.

Players aren't on the list, let alone given a close-up in sight or sound: it's everything but the game. Zoom in and overdub them if you have to, but I'm yearning for this World Cup to give me lingering long takes over the knees of Ao Tanaka.

Tactics, strategy and many, many PowerPoints. We got a new team and we're getting a new West Stand, so how are things looking in the manager's office and the boardroom?

One by one, and goal by goal, let's rate Leeds United's attackers from last season in descending order of how many minutes they played.

Nobody could get through Leeds United's midfield last season, but we can go through them now, one by one in descending order of minutes, to remember how they get on.

It's the lads of last season, reviewed!

Starting at the back, where 56 minus 9 equals 47