Keep it Simple, Keep it Real

Kicking off 2016 with a little head cold / allergy thing.  Not really sure what it is, other than annoying.  Hey, speaking of annoying things…

• Mine Craft Videos (whoever these Brits are that make the videos should be muzzled)

• Parents allowing children to make important decisions (and don’t tell me it’s just the way it is…it’s only the way it is because we allowed it to get this way)

• Piles of holiday things (I keep moving the same pile of things from one room to the next and never fully get anything cleaned)

• Basement laundry rooms (maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the basement was finished)

• Dog / Cat hair (it’s freaking everywhere)

• Heavy eyelids (ain’t nobody got time for a nap but that’s all I want to do right now)

• Loud dishwashers (ours sounds like each cycle will be its last…but we keep pushing it on…go dishwasher – you can do it)

• Messy storage spaces (every drawer or closet door I open is just shy of being organized – it’s not like a bomb went off or anything but it’s just messy enough to be annoying)

Some people are bullies by nature.  Some are hidden in plain site.  Some bullies are so subtle that you have to think about what happened before you realize you were bullied.  Of course, I doubt that any of these types of bullies are even aware that their words and actions hurt.  Heck...it's likely that we've all been on the giving end of the bully stick. 

Think twice next time you throw that dagger under your breath, but loud enough for others to hear.  Second guess yourself before calling that person a name or judging them by what you perceive.  Some people think that perception is reality...but that's not always the case.  Take 30-seconds to ask a question and err on the side of kindness. 

As I get older, I become more and more emotional. 

These days, I can barely watch a cute baby video posted on Facebook.  I have to mute the tv or change the channel when I hear Sarah McLaughlin or Joe Cocker because I know the commercial is about abused and neglected animals...and Lord my heart can't take that.  I want to save them ALL and neither my bank account or my backyard have the capacity to do that! 

I get gushy when texting with my fiance or when I think about how much I love my parents.

I wonder if it's hormones, or if there is something more visceral going on here.  I feel like I started out in live with a kind heart.  Always helping others to the point of mothering.  This was through high school and into college.  I had my first real heartbreak around that time and I don't know that I've ever been the same.  I stopped wanting to have children.  I stopped worrying so much about others.  My compassion level dropped off the face of the earth.  My personality hardened and turned slightly cold.  From that moment forward, I was going to watch out for number one and didn't plan on letting anyone close enough to hurt me. 

That became my nemesis as I moved through my 20s and 30s.  Literally walked away from a marriage and never looked back - can barely even remember what he looked like anymore.  Watched friends come and go like they were disposable.  Forgot what love was.  Stopped crying. 

I actually don't remember crying again until my cat passed away.  She was with me through all of it, moving back and forth across the country, sticking with me and never judging.  I nursed her back to health once, but couldn't do it again a second time.  It was then that my heart started to heal, I cared about something deeply, and I cried.  Mercy did I cry...I still cry when I think of her.  I can remember her sounds, her habits, how she played, how she slept, and I can't help but miss her.

Now that my heart is an open gaping wound, letting anyone and everyone in, crying at the mention of a wounded dog, wanting children running around the house, skipping beats when my fiance walks through the door, and loving Thursday nights when we see my parents for dinner, I realize how much time I wasted by being closed off to the world. I can't get that time back, but I can certainly resolve to spending the rest of my time being the person I like being.

Delicious new Green Mountain "FOCUS" coffee.  Being a #BzzAgent, I was able to try the new product for free and I also received several coupons to share with my friends and family to try it out.  It's delicious and a great addition to my morning routine!

We bit the bullet and bought the #1dbgoddess and #1dboverdrive last night.  This morning started off with a protein shake, and a dose of hope in the form of three little capsules.  John at #supplementsuperstore was amazingly helpful and gave us menu ideas, tips, and advice.  It was nice to have someone want to help you rather than judge you. 

We are both committed to losing 20 lbs between now and Jan 1, 2013.  According to John, we should be close to that by sometime in November but I don't want to push my luck. 

It was a bit pricey, but cutting dining out from our budget should more than pay for the difference and we'll receive the benefit of being healthier and hotter.  Literally.  This stuff apparently raises your core temperature a few notches, which is not something I'm looking forward to.  We already have to keep our house at 68° at night - no telling what we'll have to lower it to after FAST packing it!

First of all, I'm a mechanical pencil junkie, so when I saw the pack of pencils, I was thrilled.  I kept them for myself  :)

My step-daughters will enjoy doing their homework with the pens. 

The gummy vitamins weren't a huge hit, but they'll do in a pinch.  They said it felt like you could taste the powdery stuff from the vitamin.  If they only knew the two nasty horse pills their dad and I swallow with a gallon of water every day, they'd probably think these gummy vitamins were candy!

5StyleHigh is offering an Urban Office giveaway.  Check it out!

During today's #dailychallenge, the task was to write down a goal for 6 months from now.  While I could go on for an entire day with a list of 'should do', 'want to do', 'have to do' and any other kind of do, I narrowed it down to these three:

1)  A 100% smoke-free life

2)  Significant weight loss

3)  Business growth

While there are others that are a high priority, these three things are what will improve my health, and well-being, and stick around long enough to replace them with three new items after these have been checked off the list.

Ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to get it right?  Criticized for being you?  Your best isn't good enough?

Welcome to my week...

Several times throughout this week, I've been corrected on my spelling, my use of certain words, my grammar, my editing, etc.  This morning, my suggestions were not only over-ridden, the over-rider even threw in a 'sorry for the lack of direction'...implying in front of our artists that...well, you get the picture. 

This either made me so mad that I cried, or so sad that I really do suck that bad that it made me cry.  Either way, I cried this morning (and I don't really do that very often).

Enter boyfriend.

Saw me cry, listened to the story, told me not to let the bully get the best of me, and what did I want for breakfast.  Being the loving man he is, he quickly hugged me and made my breakfast.  When he brought it to me, I moved the salsa from on top of my breakfast burrito to the side of the burrito and now all of the sudden HE is accusing me of having an attitude.

So yah - it's one of those 'I can't win' kind of days and I just want to shut my office door, turn on some sappy-ass, pity-party music and wallow in my tears.

Scenario:  Yesterday I received a voice mail on my home phone from a company in Chicago looking for my ex husband.  They said he had applied for a job and had given them this number.  They wanted to speak with him to find out if he was still interested in the position.

Fact:  I haven't seen or heard from my ex husband in nearly 10 years.  As far as I know, he is dead.  I've had this home phone number for about 2 years now.  Unlisted.  Not even my family has it - strictly for dialing into conference calls for my work and to re-route a Google voice number for my business.

Result:  I called the number back and of course couldn't reach the same individual that had left the voice mail, so I, in turn, left them a message.  Something along the lines of I don't know how you got this number, this is NOT a number for him, and if you call back, I will take action. 

Keep in mind that I don't even remember my ex husband.  I sometimes forget I was even married...that's how little I think about him.  The only thing I'm grateful for out of the whole joke of a marriage, is that we didn't have children together, that I only stay in touch with a sister-in-law who is also divorced from the family, and that I haven't heard from him in nearly 10 years. 

I don't know how many of my friends know this, but I've been a #BzzAgent for several years now.  It is super cool.  You take surveys, and based on your likes / dislikes, you can sign up for campaign offerings.  They send you items to use and then share your feedback with your friends, called 'Buzzing'.  The more you Buzz, the more campaigns you're invited to.  All free. 

I've received a Sonicare toothbrush, gel inserts for heels, make up, iced coffee with a double-walled tumbler, hand sanitizer, and many many other coll products.  This week, I received a professional tooth whitening system (Luster Premium White).  I'm excited to try it, as my teeth could certainly use a lift in color.