Me

The first man comes up and Pete says, “How did you die?”

“Well, I’s been suspicious that me wife been cheating on me, so I comes home early from work today to catch her, I does. She acts all innocent, she does. She says, ‘Go ahead, search the apartment if that will make you feel better,’ she says. So I checks the closet, under the bed, in some dresser drawers and out on the balcony. There, I finds this man hanging from the railing and cryin’ like a six-year-old girl with a skinned knee. He says, 'Help me, oh help me,’ he says.

"Sure, I can helps a fine bastard!” I says, do I. So I gets a hammer from inside and I smash this bugger’s fingers until he falls six stories down, he does, but he’s saved when he lands on a large pricker bush. I sees that he’s not dead and I, still in a rage, I throws me refrigerator out the balcony, killing him. Right then, me heart gives out and I dies, I do.“

Peter says, "Ok, in you go.”

The second man comes up and Pete says “What’s your story?”

The man says “Well, I was exercising out on my balcony on the seventh floor of my building when I slipped and fell over the edge. Luckily, I happened to catch hold of the railing on the balcony below me and was about to climb back up to safety when this asshole comes out, sees me, and smashes my hands with a hammer. I fell six stories onto a pricker bush and was badly hurt and frightened, but still alive. Next thing I know, that same guy drops a fridge on me and here I am.”

Bored, Peter says, “OK, Next!”

taking each other’s hands during a stressful situation, instantly reliveing the pressure of the situation

smiling in-between kisses

during a hug, one of them pulls the other closer, followed by the other one nudging their head into the crook of their lover’s neck

forehead kisses

they’re in bed, one of them’s like “it’s time to get up” and their lover pulls them back down, wraps their hands around their body, snuggles up close, preventing the other one from getting out of bed

forehead kisses but it’s the male being kissed on the head

dancing together, one of them takes the other’s hand, kisses it

saying “i love you” completely randomly

bantering, judging each other but in a way that’s like, what you’re doing right now, is really stupid, but you’re adorable and i can’t help but love you

when one of them is like… i don’t know… hurt or something… and the other one is just like… tending to their wounds… and then just like… wrap them into their arms… thankful that they’re alive…

when one of them is hurt by the antagonist… and their lover goes… absolutely ballistic and does everything in their power to get to the person they love, to the point in which the antagonist and it’s crew have to physically restrain them… and it still doesn’t stop them… they jsut keep kicking… doesn’t matter what happens to them… doesn’t matter if they get beaten in the process… as long as their lover is safe…

when they haven’t seen each other for a while (bonus point if they’re not sure the other one is alive) and all this time they’ve been trying to stay strong, but when they reunite, they crash into each other’s arms, and completely breakdown…

“i’m not worthy of anybody’s love.” “that’s not true, you’re worthy of mine.” followed by the lover breaking eye-contact… + a love confession

when one of them has never had a proper birthday party for whatever reason, and their lover makes it their mission to give them the best day ever, followed by “you didn’t have to do all this for me. just being with you is enough.” “i know. but i thought you deserved ?’’ and their lover smiles, a kiss is shared

one of them being like… i’m totally getting off track here, but you’re like, really hot so i’m going to pick you up and throw you on the bed, followed by their lover smacking them on their head (gently) because they have important things to do

’‘you shouldn’t be here.” “i had to make sure you were okay.” silence. “can i come in?” more silence. you decide. angst or happy ending?

when they’re forced apart, and they get to say goodbye, and they cry, share a last kiss, holding hands until the very end, until they’re so far apart they have to let go…

any form of physical intimacy ever

one of them resting their head on the other’s lap, falling asleep

wearing their lover’s clothes! (also, “can I get my shirt back? ’'no.”)

being jealous! not to the point of it being unhealthy, just a moderate amount of cute jealously, in which their partner just laughs it off and gives them a kiss

a slow burn being like… i’m not in love with them! cut to scene of the person in question staring dreamingly at the object of their desire

when a character is falling in love, and their love interest is making them smile, and they’re flustered, blushing, in such a happy state of mind that they look to the ground, trying to hide their burning red cheeks

banter in which one of them’s like… “i love you” and the other person’s like “ok” and the first one’s like “say it back” and the other one’s just like “no 😝” and the first one gets frustrated because “why wouldn’t you say it back we always say i love you before we leave”

when they’re doing something outside, it’s dark outside, and one of them views something pretty in the sky, like a shooting star, or just the stars in general, and they pull their lover by the hand, all excited to watch the shooting star, and their lover looks at them in pure admiration

when it’s a slow burn, and the characters just look at each other like “fuck it i’m done with this” and kiss

“The purest thrill comes not from the idea of winning

But from the fear of defeat .”

DARK COTTAGECORE! Sort of like crowcore and cottagecore had a gay goth baby. That is dark cottagecore, Dark Cottagecore would involve

- Black flouncy dresses

- Muddy, bare feet

- Black overalls over a creamshirt

-Rainy days 

- Cool foggy mornings

- Talking to the spirits of the woods

- M O T H M A N 

- Poisonous mushroom garden

- Carnivorous plant garden

- Crows, Ravens, black birds in general

- Thunderstorms 

- Pretty, thrifted obscurities 

- Roses

- Thorn bushes

- Messy hair pulled out of your face