âAre you- are you pulling down mistletoe?â
âI donât care about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I will punch youâ
âIf I hear one more Mariah Carey song I will riotâ
âRemind me why I canât kill the carolers?â
âHum one more note of that carol and I will stab youâ
âMy house, my rules. The Christmas music stays onâÂ
âIf you throw that snowball youâre declaring warâ
âYouâre kidding, right? Iâm not going out in that snow storm!â
âI donât care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloweenâ
âI canât believe you did all this, for meâ
âYou donât have to go to all this trouble, you knowâ
âYou didnât really think Iâd let you spend Christmas alone, did you?â
âYouâd make a really terrible Santaâ
âItâs a time of good will, not whatever the hell youâre doingâ
âArenât you just Santaâs Little Helper?â
âYou call this decorated?â
âHow on earth did you get tinsel there?â
âWow, you really go overboard with decorations, donât you?â
âIt looks like Santa threw up hereâ
âWhat are you doing to that poor wrapping paper?â
âExactly how much more hinting do I have to do?âÂ
 âHave I told you how much I hate Christmas shopping?â
âSecret Santa is bullshitâ
âTell me what you want for Christmasâ
âWhy are you so impossible to shop for?â
âCanât I just give you $20 and you can buy something for yourself?â
âPlease tell me you arenât searching my room for where Iâve hidden the presentsâ
âI thought we werenât doing gifts!â
âI got you a Christmas sweater!â
âHow many Christmas sweaters do you own?â
âYouâre wearing the Santa hat, whether you like it or notâ
âOne normal Christmas, thatâs all I wantedâ
âIâm sure what ever threat is out there can wait until after Christmas dinnerâ
âYou invited how many people over for Christmas dinner??â
âYou really canât cook, can you?â
âWho the hell turned off the oven?!âÂ
âThis calls for eggnogâÂ
âI canât believe no one has spiked the eggnog yetâ
âJust how much eggnog have you had?â
âIâm starting to regret having taught you about gluhweinâ
âOi! Thatâs my hot chocolateâ
âSpam is not a suitable replacement for turkeyâ
âNo offence meant, but I do not trust you to carve the turkeyâ
âI donât care about anything else, the pudding is all that mattersâ
âHey, binge eating at Christmas is totally justified!â
âYou made gingerbread zombies?â
âStep away from the cookies.â
âWho ate all the advent calendar chocolates?!â
âNormally Iâd say no, but Iâm on my 14th candy cane, so why not?âÂ