heart attack

It was a bit late to give any stern talking tos, besides. It would have changed nothing about the Rocket situation. Her own family wouldn't have budged on their own beliefs. Perhaps they would have been frightened by the resolutions she'd made in the wake of it all.

Sabrina had already gotten a vision of another trainer. Young, like Leaf had been, who had gone through enough to carry with them... A similar expression to hers. Whether that was a future set in stone, or a potential outcome that could be avoided, she couldn't say.

Team Rocket, in a sense, never actually left. Their leader did. She'd found the occasional member, here or there, trying to lay low until their 'inevitable return', as one had put it.

None of this was this girl's burden to bear.

There was some, small form of reassurance in the idea that someone would hunt Rocket down in Leaf's absence. She hadn't intended to return home any time soon- or at all. It wasn't something she'd intended to make a decision on any time soon.

" Good. Give them a good walloping when you see them, " A pause was taken so that Leaf might get up to retrieve her rod. " They deserve it after everything they've done. "

Ick! She'd completely messed up her fishing rod in that fit of upset. This is going to take a bit to de-tangle. Her somewhat unsteady hands would make it far worse, adding to the amount of time needed to fix up the rod all proper.

Leaf still needed an answer. Even a bad one would do, even if it could offer her nothing by way of comfort, so long as it was honest.

The gym, at that moment in time, had only been blocked off by a single body. One she could have easily pushed through. Except... "I was taught that my power was not to be used against people."

It was a ridiculous teaching, in hindsight. If she had been scanning people's minds sooner, she would have stopped the first takeover before it started. If she had been willing to fight, no one else would have needed to.

"I have been asking myself what might have happened if I had broken myself out of that ideology sooner. If I had not let myself stay bound to it for so long, how many people might have been saved?" Another breath, and the waves did not even reach her mind.

Focusing was a task in itself, Leaf had to grasp at what was uttered her way to even pull herself out of the hole she'd fallen into. Sabrina had admitted to being raised in such a way that her power was not to be used against people. Who in their right mind would even dare suggest that? OR tell someone that?

Truthfully, Leaf didn't know the full extent of Sabrina's psychic power. She never did! At least this explained something, even if it was a small start.

" Big whoop. Whoever told you that sucks. Clearly they never thought evil stuff could happen, " Her reply was swift, impulsive- the emotions still ran relatively high as she brought an arm up to messily rub at her own face. In the moment, it was far more comfortable to latch onto that small detail, " Hope you've given them a stern talking to. "

A shaky exhale followed.

Crimson eyes fell squarely on the rolling waves. Not on Leaf. Not on the Dragonite between them. Just an ocean that, for today, failed to clear her mind.

Why.

It was a good question. Why say anything now? Why not say anything then? Why hadn't she looked at the crises next door? Why had she been so intent on staying within her own mind, hiding herself from the rest of the world as if that hiddenness had been her greatest responsibility, and not the well-being of Saffron's people?

"I don't have a good answer for you."

Not to any one of those questions. Nor to any other question that could have been posed.

She had been forced to relive the initial confrontation with Sabrina once more in her head. That distant look cast upon Leaf back then remained deeply ingrained within the furthest recesses of her mind.

It didn't make sense. Why care now? Why couldn't she have done something when Team Rocket was obviously knocking at everyone's doors?! Why did it have to be her? No amount of reassurance could spare Leaf the pain she had experienced at the hands of Team Rocket.

So what if those events won't be repeated? That won't save Leaf now.

" They were abusing Pokemon.... I saw people get hurt, " A hiccup interrupted her words, tears had begun to freely fall, " Why were you in your gym the whole time? Why did no one do anything? "

The Gym Leaders were political officials right? Leaf knew that now, even though she hadn't known back then. She had just seen them as people a person should turn to in an emergency. Sabrina in particular was at fault. She let Saffron City become overrun by Team Rocket. That couldn't be forgiven. It was her fault. Her fault. She should have been there. Why. Why. Why.

The moment she noticed the former champion behind her, Sabrina retreated away from the girl's mind. It had been a long while since this one's gym challenge, and one could not fault her for... Never setting foot in a gym building again.

Olivine's shores had called to the Kanto leader. Perhaps she was wrong for leaving Saffron in others' hands for the moment. Or, perhaps she had been called here for a reason. Even the waves could not still the thoughts raging through her mind at Leaf's approach.

Her own failures. Not once, but twice; Silph's headquarters taken over both from outside and then from within. In her own city. Under her watch. Maybe it helped her unlearn some lessons, but it was already too late, and not just for one child.

The waves cleaned out all unnecessary thoughts.

So, whatever was left, that must have been necessary. Two words, repeating over and over. All she could do was to say them.

There was a hitch in Leaf's breath, caught in her chest in a giant knot. That familiar face was not one associated with a positive experience. In fact, she could vaguely recall the upset she'd been through going about her business in Sabrina's gym... Just shortly after the events of Silph Co.

Leaf was so young. At the time, she hadn't the words needed to ask for help, not from a Gym leader. Not from Sabrina. She just went through the motions and took the badge and left. With it came a pit in her stomach that never left.

Not even five minutes ago she had her attention glued on the ocean, fishing rod in hand next to her dear Dragonite, Hina. Hina would be the one that brought her attention to Sabrina with a growl it let loose upon noticing the Gym leader's presence.

Leaf wasn't sure how to respond. There was anger, frustration, and most importantly, anxiety. Her mouth opened then shut, her jaw clenched as she drowned in the ocean of her own thoughts. All she could choke out was a simple,

" Why. "