malformed.

           —– anxiety takes root in his veins & inches through his body. it wraps slender fingers around his heart, constricting it in the most terrifying of ways. he was alone. he was alone because no one wanted him — no one needed him. he was an outcast on the edge of a village no one would  remember, he couldn’t even find a voice to call out his name. who was he ? he was a nobody. there was a desperation in the thought. it was abitter reality, but not one he wanted to accept.he wanted to be more than that — more than a nobody, more than someone to pity.

              it seemed like everyone in jupiter had come---he remembered how he had thought something would be wrong, how he thought someone had twisted whatever story they had fabricated into something dark & terrible.or rather. but instead of torches & pitchforks, they had come bearing gifts & food & smiles. he had shaken a hand without someone being disgusted, with someone being proud.. he was hailed a hero rather than a monster for the first time in his life. it had been nice. 

@leaderclawed / idk but cry with me over our children  x a n.

sex      she had sex with him, love     they made love. & it was love, & it was good ! god, she liked it ! cathy always heard that having sex before marriage was …. bad, impure, sinful     but she didn’t feel bad or impure; cathy felt good & new & pure. his voice pulled her out of her thoughts, she had wrapped herself in blankets and sheets, cathy was surprised that their were any left for him to use at all, blushing she peeked at him from her bundle, ‘     y-you don’t have too ! you can .. come under here with me, if you wanted. ‘ 

how could she face chris after this? the twins? her mother? grandmother … would they be able to tell? could they be able to smell it on her?      how could she not care about it? why should she feel bad about this? why should she feel impure about this? she liked it     she’d do it again; she’d do it a million times.  

both.             the word resonates with her for a moment, the grandmother’s hard stare rips her very soul     cathy feels her body, small and thin as it is, stiffen and harden against the wind that gently touches her from the cracked window; both, sin, devil.     ‘       both ? ‘  she glanced around his trailer, it was fairly small, one bedroom, kitchen, bathroom      was he asking her too … the grandmother’s voice rang in her ear devil’s spawn will always find other rejects.  she eyed james, they were unmarried … living together would be another sin tacked on to her generous supply; but she was passed the point of no return, anyway. 

‘ yes, i suppose there is. ‘ her body is still stiff, uneasy. it would take much more time for her to feel at ease, like she was with chris, years even. tucking her pocketbook under her arm she walks toward the door, holding it open with her foot, taking one last look around the trailer, they could be a family here     james & her … a family with children & love; god they could be in love. 

‘    james, you know i can’t. ‘ they had a child’s romance, kisses under the big top, long rides on back roads: puppy love.  her heart … it didn’t belong to him, it belonged to chris … it always did & it always will     what wasn’t left in the attic all those years ago; maybe those pieces that she left behind would of been belonged to him. maybe if they had met earlier … maybe, maybe, maybe        

‘      you know … you know i can’t. i love you …. but i love someone else, i love them more. i owe them that much … please, you have to understand ! i owe them, they need me … ‘ she felt a sob rip though her, why … why did this always happen ? why did he always do this ! 

blinking back tears she stepped out into the sunlight, ‘ you have someone else too, you have two someones.’ bette & dot … they were sweet, pretty women, jimmy deserved that much,  ‘    i’ll see you next show,’ she told him. she never missed his shows; never.  ‘     tell your little wives hello for me. maybe me & chris will stop by for a sunday dinner next week. ‘ 

❝  please don’t feel the buttplug.  ❞

❝  why are you screaming at pasta?  ❞

❝  you can’t trust angry taxes.  ❞

❝  where are the friends?  ❞

❝  avoid father.  ❞

❝  i fucked capitalism.  ❞

❝  *punches your cops while i save me from kinkshaming evil cash*  ❞

❝  buddy i aam afraid.  ❞

❝  fucked up.  ❞

❝  but can your wicked sick republican mail your friends my communist gender?  ❞

❝  i can’t believe a sjw fucked the moon  ❞

❝  judge the nut.  ❞

❝  warning: controversial horses.  ❞

❝  what is the ass man?  ❞

❝  i need to know if i can suck your mozzarella stick.  ❞

❝  destroy the moon.  ❞

❝  you are rude and libertarian and can’t have your drugs dissapointed.  ❞

❝  here we kinkshame worthless dead kinkshaming.  ❞

❝  i will not suck a certain snowman.  ❞

❝  i have become a fool.  ❞

❝  my moms.  ❞

❝  fuck you, tiffany.  ❞

❝  do aliens eat ass?  ❞

❝  i am the first werewolf to feel regrets.  ❞

❝  can communists find me?  ❞

❝  who put a fish on my kinky train?  ❞

❝  who put shitty pizza on my miserable corpse?  ❞

❝  why are tragedies so heterosexual?  ❞

❝  can raccoons feel me?  ❞

❝  bros.  ❞

❝  here we bully the capitalist government.  ❞

❝  i don’t want to suffer anymore.  ❞

❝  suddenly children.  ❞

❝  go on a date with bees.  ❞

❝  half disappointment, half snowman.  ❞

❝  how to prevent a husband.  ❞

❝  please stop disappointing bees.  ❞

❝  large dick ruined by blender.  ❞

❝  fuck dudes who lie about bread.  ❞

❝  i was aroused by my hat.  ❞

❝  this fruit wants to be known as ‘the lord of weed’.  ❞

❝  location: forest.  ❞

❝  can i doxx a bear?  ❞

❝  it’s okay to confess your feelings for garbage.  ❞

❝  block jesus.  ❞

❝  way too many spiders.  ❞

❝  look at this incredibly naked man.  ❞

❝  are we all a titty?  ❞

❝  i will vore my way out of hell to fuck up the sentient god of cops.  ❞

❝  burn in hell.  ❞

❝  you need to not date trash.  ❞

❝  my goal is to straight up suffer.  ❞