Ldngaychav London Chav

Finally it agreed to what it wanted, an owner

Once owned, it craved life changing

It as loaned out over weekend for hard manual labour. The. Admitted its job as boring, so ordered to resign.

Moved from office job, or manual labour, hi viz, and hard work

It’s body changed, and the definition came

Next were the piercings and tattoos

Finally it agreed to what it wanted, an owner

Once owned, it craved life changing

It as loaned out over weekend for hard manual labour. The. Admitted its job as boring, so ordered to resign.

Moved from office job, or manual labour, hi viz, and hard work

It’s body changed, and the definition came

Next were the piercings and tattoos

Boss monitors each of our performance throughout the shift and expects us to have a sweat on at all times that proves to him that we are working hard enough. He expects us to work all the overtime that he tells us we will be working that day as we have to be flexible obedient and loyal to the crew at all times. This can make the shifts 12 hrs long most days. 

We need the long hours shifts as the wages are minimum wage. When we have finished our shift we go back to the company caravans at the yard provided for the crew that we live in. The rent is reduced and deducted from the wages each week. We stay in our issued hi vis uniform for the rest of the day in case gaffer needs us to go out on short notice call out so have to be ready at all times 6 days a week. We all get Sundays off and have to go to the pub together with gaffer proudly advertising the company name wearing our uniforms. Its not too bad as we all have access to a shower that evening and our uniforms are washed at month end. Im told I’m doing well coping with the discipline. I’m a good loyal team player

As apart of their performance management all operatives are locked in chastity 24/7 but can as a team earn or are deducted points from a work crew target to recieve a remotely induced orgasm via their individually controlled operative chastity devices. This must cause no interruption in the monitored work rate when it occurs and operatives must still work at full speed emptying bins during a shift. This is based on hours worked, overtime completed, physical effort and heart rate monitoring results and the number of bins emptied by the crew during a shift. Public feedback about individual operative performance taken into account. All operatives display  the following advert across their backs. 

PUBLIC NOTICE

Could i be working harder today?

Memo 74/2016

Monitoring of work rates have indicated that a minority of operatives are entering shops and public conveniences during their shift. Operatives are reminded that this in contravention of Rule 243 which states that a single break of 10 minutes is permitted after 6 hours of work. This break is to allow for refreshment and any person toilet issues. An appropriate work rate should ensure that no further breaks are necessary. Operatives must deal with any personal needs without stopping work. Any future contravention of this regulation will result in a pay adjustment and suspension for 2 days without pay.

Operatives will be saddened to hear that complaints have been received about certain of their fellow operatives this week. The company cannot have its name sullied by failings of any sort from any operatives and therefore must take action.

The first complaint concerns operatives 32 and 47 - that they were observed to remove their shirts in public. When rightly challenged by a member of the public they were said to have mentioned that it was a hot day. Operatives are reminded that they must be correctly dressed at ALL times, whatever the prevailing weather conditions. To that end, until further notice memo 65/2016 permitting the removal of outer coats in warm weather is hereby rescinded. Operatives should wear all clothing, except waterproof trousers, but including coats AT ALL TIMES until further notice and all uniform should be CORRECTLY FASTENED at all times. Operatives will be aware that they have these two operatives to thank for the removal of the generous condition of their employment. The said operatives have been fined 7 days pay for their transgression.

The second complaint came from a member of the public that Team G was 15 minutes late emptying their rubbish. The member of the public has suggested that an earlier start each morning might help operatives keep to time. To that end from tomorrow June 5 2016 operatives should arrive for work 30 minutes earlier at 0530. This will allow better time keeping. Since there will be no changes to work load this will be seen as voluntary overtime and as such will be unremunerated. The end of the normal working day will continue to be 1800.

Just checking I’ve got my fresh uniform ready for the month: polo shirt, sweatshirt, ballistic trousers, Kevlar gloves, steel-toe boots, jacket and waterproof trousers. Let’s hope the woolly hat is optional this time.

Let’s hear it for the hi viz army.

I met a bloke the other day who works on the tar. He’s got a kid in primary school and they were talking about ‘People who help us’ and jobs. The lad said when he finished school he wanted to work on the tar. The teacher looked down at him and said he should aspire to better than that - maybe work with computers.

I bet she wouldn’t be happy when she bursts a tyre on a pothole, her bins went uncollected or she didn’t have power or water because there was no one to dig a hole in the road to mend the pipes.