sands undertable

... IT'S TIME TO GET OFF THE MACHINES, SANDS. YOU'VE REACHED THE TIME LIMIT THAT DOCTOR SCALE UNDERSEA SET FOR YOU.

but that wasn't the punchline, and i didn't get to finish my post yet.

BED. NOW.

... okay. you know i can't say no to you, bro. you're so cool.

i'm probably not gonna post very often, but i wanted to let everybody know that i'm okay.

i got an interesting message recently, though...

PROFILE UPDATE!

I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING UNTIL I WAS SURE, BUT I GOT HELP FROM SCALE UNDERSEA, AND I THINK SANDS IS ACTUALLY OKAY! (AND, ALSO, THAT HE IS ACTUALLY SANDS UNDERTABLE, AND NOT SOME RANDOM DUSTED BONES.)

SCALE MANAGED TO OPEN UP THE VACUUM THAT GOT HIM, AND WE THINK WE GOT ALL OF HIM OUT. THERE THANKFULLY WASN'T MUCH ELSE IN THE TANK AT THE TIME.

I'M GONNA LET HIM TYPE SOMETHING HERE SOON, BUT IT'LL NEED TO BE NEXT POST.

HE SAID HE WAS JUST SAND, AND I BELIEVED HIM IN MY NAÏVETY... TURNS OUT, HE WASN'T MY SANDS AT ALL! HE WAS SOME OTHER SANS, DONE AND DUSTED!

... ANYWHO, SINCE HE'S GONE NOW, I SUPPOSE IT'D BE GOOD TO RETIRE HIS BLOG...

I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING THE GREATEST DAY!! PWEH HEH HEH!!!

... HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF--

i... uh...

well, if you're sand and not dy, and you just to be undertable instead of a reset--...

hey paper, mind getting this one? *uses blue magic to toss the words around*

UHM, OKAY, LET'S SEE... HOW IS IT LIKE... SANDING? AND HAVING... UNDERTABLE...? (GOODNESS, ARE THESE PEOPLE BAD AT ENGLISH OR SOMETHING...?)

AHEM... WELL, HUMAN, I ASSURE YOU, SANDS ISN'T SANDING ANYTHING UNDER HERE. IF HE WERE TO DO SO, HE MIGHT GET LOST. WOOD SHAVINGS ARE A SORT OF SIMILAR COLOR TO HIS OWN BONE SAND EXTERIOR.

... I HOPE THIS... HELPS...? (SANDS, PLEASE COME BACK, I CAN'T KEEP GOING ON THIS BRAIN ROT RIGHT NOW.)

h-hey, woah now, i wasn't expecting such an outpouring of love.

... honestly? thanks, guys.

i needed this.

10 posts!

honestly, not sure if i can keep going, but i wanted to add onto this regardless.

another milestone. honestly not even sure if i'll hit a kilometerstone or a nautical milestone at this point.

... is this a nautical milestone? things feel so rough right now that i can't really tell if my ship sank already, and i'm just huddled in the boiler room, waiting for the storm to pass...

now i have my very own pet gamer.

they're a violent little bugger, to the point where i haven't even been able to part their fur and check their gender. keep brandishing a knife at me and claiming they're a human, but i know a human when i see one, and this clearly ain't one.

this particular gamer seems to prefer pellet instead of flake for food, which seems a little old school, but i don't really judge.

they also turn away the fresh dew from the mountain grass when i try to make them drink, and they keep asking for something called crystal pepsi instead. i really don't know what that is.

distant screaming from a cage in the other room while i sip from a can labeled "clear bepis"

yeah... not sure what they're so furious about right now... they keep telling me that clear bepis is the same thing, but pets can't drink soda.

paper folded a corner one too many times and ripped a little bit, so we took him to the hospital. they put some tape on him and told him to avoid folding anymore for now.

should be good as new in a few weeks.