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Man... This patch dogshit. I can reallyy feel the greed from these banners. I thought being F2P in Genshin was hard, but being F2P in WHB is literally hell (should've known from the title). Sucks to suck, I guess. Gotta remind myself that these are just 1s and 0s in a machine to cope.
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In other news, we finally have some developments in the Zagan - Zepar lore! It seems like Zepar is purposefully pushing away Zagan and Zagan still wants to be close to him.
I wonder if Zepar is doing the "Yesss~ Get away from me I'm a horrible person~ I will only hurt you~ Don't get too close to me unless you want to get hurt!" type of self-destructiveness.
I don't think this is self-destruction, actually. It was stated in the original event where Zepar was introduced that, in order to use the red talisman, you have to give up the thing that matters most to you. My personal belief is that Zepar chose to give up Zagan, but Zagan couldn't give up Zepar (which is why he still only able to use the yellow talisman). Hence "I drove him out [in exchange for power]".
I have no proof for this other than the way Zepar very clearly distances himself from Zagan. He won't even allow Zagan to call him master because that would be like allowing Zagan back into his life, thereby negating the fact that he gave up Zagan.
In other news, we finally have some developments in the Zagan - Zepar lore! It seems like Zepar is purposefully pushing away Zagan and Zagan still wants to be close to him.
I wonder if Zepar is doing the "Yesss~ Get away from me I'm a horrible person~ I will only hurt you~ Don't get too close to me unless you want to get hurt!" type of self-destructiveness.
Asmodeus: You made everything worse! We're still going to die! See this woman? They're going to have a sht life because of you!
Also Asmodeus: Just kidding! I was just doing all of that so you stop being reckless. I don't like it when you sacrifice yourself and you getting hurt. What? Oh! The whole choking thing? Pssshh~ That's all in the past (â  â ââ âżâ ââ  â )âĄ
MC will still probably think about that kind woman who has to fix the other messed up reality. No biggie.
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Can we request PB for when Asmodeus turns into a cat , MC blue balls him and never relieves him and let him suffer? But seriously, what are the writers doing with Asmo's character right now?? I am not a huge fan of this direction they're taking. I was starting to like Asmo too because he was kinda romantic in the wedding event and his valentine chat. I really do like seeing Asmodeus' serious commander side, but he needs reel it back a little. He's guilt tripping MC way too much. They were already blaming themselves for breaking the cat statue, and now they're blaming themselves for the sacrifice of that kind lady. This cat event is just PB's way to trick us into hating Asmodeus.
- Asmodeus got actually angry at MC and choke them
- Anyways, here's horny Catan:D
Okay. So far, this event is incredibly pissing me off because PB so fcking mean to MC. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST???? The choking was really unnecessary?? Leave the baby alone??? "Cute cat event" my fcking ass. I hope they redeem themselves. And by "redeem", I meant actually acknowledging MC's efforts and telling them they did their best and not just sex. Happy Valentine's day, I fcking guess.
MC, honey, let's go to the spa and have a relaxing time. Leave hell to eat sht and die.
10 Ways You Ruin His Day (and 10 Ways You Ruin His Self-Control)
I originally made this list as character notes for future stories â I love digging deep into their dynamics and really breaking them down. But honestly? I couldnât not share.
Would love to hear your thoughts too: what do you think drives them absolutely mad, and what turns them into helpless fluff puddles? đ€
đ Top 10 Things That Make Caleb Absolutely, Irrevocably Mad
1 He doesnât know where you are
Even when it makes sense. Even when youâre safe. Even when heâs on the far side of a tunnel with no signal and too much time to think. The silence eats at him, turns every breath into a countdown. By the time heâs back, no one on the base dares talk to him until youâre in his line of sight again.
2 You come home with a bouquet of flowers from another man
Itâs not jealousy, really. Itâs⊠fury dressed in olive green. Youâre standing there, smiling, saying some poor man gave you flowers because you saved his life. Great. Fantastic. Calebâs thrilled that his girlfriend is both competent and accidentally irresistible. But now he has to pretend this isnât bothering him while mentally comparing the man's face to strategic punching surfaces.
3 You climb on unstable furniture to reach something
You know, nothing fancyâjust a stack of books on top of a chair thatâs on top of a bench. And you? Balancing like a gremlin in fuzzy socks. He walks in and suddenly the war flashbacks begin. You think itâs funny. He thinks itâs a workplace hazard, and you are the HR violation.
4 You rearrange his model planes
He adores you. Worships the ground you walk on. Would throw himself in front of an oncoming dropship for you. But if you dust his shelf and dare to reorder his starfighters and aircrafts by vibes instead of model number? He's already rewriting his will. In blood.
5 You do something reckless and then smile about it
You say ârelax, I had a plan.â He hears: âI almost died, and Iâd do it again, because Iâm cute and unstoppable.â That smile? That grin you give when you know exactly what you did and youâre proud of it? Thatâs why he needs stress meds. And maybe a punching bag with your face on it. (Lovingly.)
6 You casually mention the girl he used to date
You say it with a smirk, like itâs just some harmless teenage memory. But he doesnât see herâhe sees you. You, standing in the doorway that day. You, catching him with her, both of them half-undressed. And you looking at him like something cracked between you. Back then, you were off-limits. You were the girl he wasnât allowed to want. So he wanted someone else. Easier. Safer. And now, years later, you bring it up like itâs nothingâwhile heâs still trying not to remember how badly he wished it had been you.
7 You werenât his first kissâbut worse, he wasnât yours
It never comes up. Not out loud. But he remembers. Vividly. The hallway. The way your face lit up. The boy leaning in. You smiling. And Calebâwatching from across the room, fists clenched, jaw tight, playing the role of older brother when his whole body screamed mine. You never talk about it. But he never forgot. Never will. Because that moment shouldâve been hisâand someone else took it first.
8 You walk away during a fight, or shut down emotionally
You call it âspace.â He calls it âpsychological warfare.â You shut down. He short-circuits. Nothing drives him more insane than trying to fix something while youâre actively ghosting him across the living room. Heâd rather you screamed. Threw something. Anything. But this quiet? This distance? Thatâs the one thing he doesnât know how to fight.
9 You cryâespecially if itâs because of him
And then heâs done. Game over. His spine straightens like heâs under military command and his entire soul just went through the paper shredder. You cry, and suddenly heâs the villain. You say âitâs not your fault,â but that doesnât matter. Heâs already rewriting the past and taking full responsibility. And yes, heâll suffer in complete silence. Like a man.
10 You secretly try to uncover what heâs hiding from you
You call it curiosity. He calls it a breach of protocol punishable by full emotional lockdown. You think youâre clever. He thinks you just walked into classified territory barefoot, blindfolded, and with a target on your back. You were never supposed to see that side of his world. And now that you have? He doesnât know whether to yell, hold you, or lock you in a room with military-grade firewalls and a blanket.
đ Top 10 Things That Turn Caleb Into a Complete Fluff-Mess
You wearing his dog tags / uniform shirt / flight jacket
Instant puddle. No chance. He sees you in his gear and his brain just... shuts off. All he can think is mine mine mine, and he gets this dumb, soft little smirk like heâs trying so hard not to combust.
You falling asleep on himâespecially mid-conversation
Youâre curled into his side, mumbling something about dinner plans, and then: silence. He looks down, sees you asleep on his chest, and thatâs it. Whole day ruined. Cancel all missions. Heâs not moving.
You bringing him coffee exactly the way he likes itâwithout asking
That quiet, thoughtful act? Hits him right in the soldier-shaped heart. He doesnât even know how to process being taken care of, so he stares at the cup like it just proposed to him.
You absentmindedly touching himâfiddling with his fingers, tracing scars, playing with his hair
He pretends he doesnât care. He does. He cares so much he forgets how to breathe. Just turns into a warm, red-eared statue trying not to whimper.
You whispering âI trust youâ or âI feel safe with youâ in a soft moment
Core memory unlocked. He stores that one like sacred intel. Will literally whisper it back to himself at 3 AM when heâs lying awake, missing you. It breaks him in the best way.
You clinging to him in your sleep / pulling him closer without waking up
Caleb.exe has stopped functioning. He will lie perfectly still for HOURS if it means not disturbing that moment. Bonus points if you mumble his name while doing it.
You defending him when someone questions his methods or past
Heâs used to being the shieldânot having someone stand in front of him. The second you raise your voice on his behalf? He falls in love with you all over again. Might even cry. Secretly.
You gently helping him out of his gear after a long day
Soft hands on his buckles. A kiss to his shoulder. A low âYouâre home now.â Thatâs how you make a Colonel melt. His fingers twitch like he wants to worship the ground you walk on.
You surprising him with something dumb and heartfelt, like a handmade gift or bad sketch of him
He acts gruffâsays âthe hell is this, Pips?ââbut then puts it in his locker or keeps it in his chest pocket for missions like itâs sacred treasure. Because it is.
You calling him âbabyâ / âhandsomeâ / âsweetheartâ when he least expects it
He acts like itâs annoying. It is not annoying. It turns him into actual butter. If you do it with a teasing smile? He short-circuits. Might drop something. Might combust. Definitely blushes.
You ignore his instructions when you're sick
You had a fever of 102°F. He left explicit care instructionsâbed rest, fluids, minimal movement. You, sweating and glassy-eyed, decided this was the perfect time to rearrange the furniture. When he came home and found you dragging a bookshelf across the room âbecause the light felt wrong,â he genuinely considered sedating you. Not as punishment. As damage control. For both of you.
You order greasy fast food instead of going somewhere ânutritionally viableâ
He offered to cook. You said no. Twenty minutes later, youâre eating fries from a paper bag while half of it spills on his clean table. You grin. He stares. Not angry at the food. Angry because you rejected his precision, then settled for processed chaos.
You leave wet towels on the floor after every shower
Heâs not sure when it started. Day three? Day five? But every time he walks into the bathroom and steps into cold, soggy cotton, something in him fractures. You claim you âforget.â He suspects a psychological experiment.
You casually mention spending time with male friends
You think itâs harmless. Lunch with Caleb. Training advice from Xavier. You light up when you talk about themâand thatâs the problem. Zayne doesnât say anything. Doesnât raise a brow. But the sudden over-fixation on his email inbox says everything.
You receive a speeding ticket. Forty miles over the limit.
You wave it off like itâs a funny little anecdote. He sits in absolute silence, calculating the stopping distance of your car vs. standard reaction time at that speed. You think heâs judging. Heâs actually trying not to scream.
You poke his ass. Specifically, between the cheeks.
You call it âaffection.â He calls it âemotional terrorism.â He flinches like heâs been electrocuted, whips around with murder in his eyesâand youâre giggling like a gremlin. Later, you regret nothing, but your thighs may beg to differ.
When you diagnose him with internet psychology
Youâve read one book on attachment styles and watched three reels about emotional unavailability. Now youâve decided he has "clinical avoidant tendencies with a hint of fear-based control fixation." He stares at you, deadpan, like he's about to perform your autopsy.
You keep spoiled food in the fridge and expired meds in the cabinet
You say âit doesnât smell that badâ or âmaybe it still works.â His eye twitches. His gloves are already on. Heâs not even mad at youâheâs mad at entropy. Youâve become its agent.
You watch reality shows. About infidelity. Willingly.
You claim itâs âjust background noise.â But he walks in and hears someone scream âthatâs not even your baby, Kyle!â and your eyes are glued to the screen. His soul briefly leaves his body.
You washed his white lab coat. With your pink unicorn pajamas.
Itâs not just the color. Itâs the betrayal. The symbol of his clinical neutrality now smells like bubblegum and looks like cotton candy. You say itâs cute. He looks personally violated by the washing machine.
You bring him lunch at the hospital
He never asks. You just appearâarms full of neatly packed containers, face lit up like this isnât the third double shift heâs worked this week. He complains about the timing. The smell. The disruption. And then eats every bite with frightening focus. You leave. He stares at the empty container like itâs proof someone still believes heâs human.
You quote him back to himself like a philosopher
You remember something he said weeks agoâsome throwaway line about time or structure or entropyâand you drop it casually in conversation, like itâs wisdom from an ancient text. He doesnât know how to react. You turned his logic into poetry, and heâll never recover from that.
You wear the little seal keychain he made
He didnât think youâd keep it. Let alone turn it into your everyday keychain. But there it isâalways with you, worn smooth from touch. You twirl it absentmindedly while talking to him, never noticing the way his gaze lingers. Never realizing how something so small can hit him so hard.
You put a photo of the two of you on his desk
It appears one day. No fanfare. Just⊠there. A moment frozen in light, sitting quietly beside his surgical reports and diagnostic schematics. At first, he moves it to the edge. Then back to center. Now it lives next to his pen. He doesnât talk about it. But itâs the only object on that desk he wipes clean with his bare hand.
His work shirt smells like you
You borrowed it that morning, wore it while dancing around the apartment with wet hair and no real purpose. Hours later, when he pulls it on between rounds, the scent hits him like a loaded memory. He short-circuits mid-button. Everything feels warmer than it should.
You leave your phone with him while you shower
No password. No hesitation. You toss it into his lap with a breezy âcan you clear out whateverâs making it lag?â and vanish behind steam. He sits there, phone in hand, suddenly trusted with everything. He opens nothing. But the fact that youâd let him? Thatâs the part that shakes him.
You ask for his opinion on minor discomforts
A papercut. A weird freckle. A suspicious sneeze. You hold out your hand, utterly serious, asking what he thinks. Itâs laughable. Ridiculous. And it absolutely wrecks him. You could ask a dozen othersâbut you ask him. Like heâs the one who makes things better.
Youâre on top
He likes control. Precision. Strategy.
But when you climb into his lap, all instinct and fire, hands braced on his chest and lips already partedâhis brain stops cooperating. Thereâs something about you taking the lead that makes him unravel. Quietly. Violently. Completely.
You argue with him about complex theoriesâand mean it
You donât just nod. You push back. You challenge. You quote sources he hasnât thought about in years. You spark. You flare. And he watches, fascinated, lips twitching with something dangerously close to pride. No one does this. No one dares. But you? You never flinch.
You whisper âI love youâ in your sleep
Itâs not loud. Itâs not even clear. Just a faint breath in the dark, like a dream half-remembered. But he hears it. Every time. And though he never says a word in returnânot while you're sleepingâhis fingers tighten around your waist like he's anchoring himself to the only thing that matters.
đš Top 10 Things That Make Rafayel Absolutely, Irrevocably Annoyed at You
You told him his painting was âniceâ
You stood in front of a piece that cost him three sleepless nights, a minor existential crisis, and two broken brushesâand said âNice.â Just like that. No gasp, no poetry, no tears. He aged five years on the spot. Somewhere in the distance, a violin cried for him.
You dragged him to a cat exhibit
You thought it would be cute. Enrichment. A bonding experience. Instead, he spent the entire time perched on edge, eyes darting like prey. You said âtheyâre just kittens.â He said nothing. He was too busy making sure none of them came closer than ten feet.
You cleaned his studio
You thought you were being helpful. But you moved The Pile. The sacred, unholy, perfectly calibrated mess. Now he canât find his favorite brush, and also heâs deeply offended by how cheerful you looked doing it.
You didnât reply to his messages for over an hour
He sent three texts, one meme, and a âthinking of you đâ voice note. You replied 67 minutes later with âsry was showering.â By then, heâd already decided you were breaking up with him, joining a cult, or possibly dead. He had a whole monologue planned. And now youâve ruined it.
You cut your hair
He loved your long hair. Adored it. Worshipped it. You showed up with a sharp little bob and said âitâs just hair.â It is not just hair. It is the collapse of a visual era. Heâs still adjusting. And by adjusting, he means mourning with wine.
You made fun of his driving
You muttered âtechnically, you were meant to let the tram go firstâ He muttered âtechnically, silence is golden.â His driving is instinct. Vibe. Energy. If you didnât want drama, you shouldnât have sat in the passenger seat of a man who parallel parks like heâs in a ballet.
You woke him up too early
He went to bed at 4 a.m. because inspiration struck. You woke him at 7:12 like it was nothing, and said âyou have that interview, remember?â He does remember. He also remembers specifically telling you that if he ever falls asleep before sunrise, you are to let him die peacefully, cancel all earthly obligations, and throw his alarm clock into the ocean where it belongs.
You hid your phone screen when a message came in
You were probably teasing. Just being playful. But now heâs spiraling. Who was it? Why the secrecy? What do you have to hide? Congratulationsâyouâve just activated his inner opera villain.
You got jealous
Which is absurd. Heâs the one who invented possessive affection. But you being jealous? That makes him unreasonably indignant. What do you mean you âdidnât like the way that gallery girl looked at himâ? Of course she looked. But he didnât see her. He saw you.
You burned the bacon
You say âitâs fine.â He says itâs charcoal. The entire kitchen smells like culinary war crimes. And now heâll have to burn incense and replant three garden beds to recover emotionally. Who even let you near the stove? Who hurt you? Was it⊠the bacon?
đš Top 10 Ways You Accidentally Turned Rafayel Into a Purring, Love-Drunk Work of Art
You massage his head
Heâs mid-rant. Arms crossed. Absolutely furious about the lighting in that gallery. And then your fingers slip into his hairâand just like that, the war is over. His entire body melts like heâs been tranquilized. Heâll deny it later, of course. But the way he leans into your hand? Case closed.
You claim him in public
Itâs an art gala. Heâs dressed to ruin people. And then you slip your arm through his, fingers just tight enough to say mine. You smile like a goddess. He pretends heâs unaffected. Inside, heâs writing vows in ten languages and considering printing matching business cards.
You actually listen to his advice
He knows he can be dramatic. Unfiltered. Emotionally volatile. But when you sit there, really listening, nodding like his words matterâyou destroy him. Suddenly heâs not the chaos. Heâs the compass. And that? Thatâs love.
You share every detail of your day over dinner
You talk about everythingâthe lady at the store, the funny email, the awful latte. You give him your day like a story, like heâs the only one you wanted to tell. He leans in, listens too closely, files away each emotion like a collector of rare art.
Youâre always down for his wildest ideas
Itâs 3 a.m. He wants to hike 2.5 miles along the beach, take a boat to a tiny island, and watch the sunrise with wine. You say âgive me five minutes.â And just like that, you become the only person worthy of his wildest, most beautiful chaos.
You let him photograph you
Nothing compares. Not awards. Not praise. Nothing rivals the moment you look into his lensâbare, unfiltered, unashamed. Especially when youâre nude, glowing, and laughing like the world doesnât exist. Thatâs when he falls in love with you all over again. And again. And again.
You let him choose your dress
You come out in the one he picked. Elegant. Perfect. You spin for him. And the way he watches you? Like he made you. Like youâre the gallery and heâs the only one with the key. Itâs not fashion. Itâs trust. And he adores you for it.
You sing when you donât know heâs home
Wearing socks and earbuds, dancing with a broom, serenading your way through burnt pancakes. Youâre off-key. Glorious. Real. And he stands in the doorway, silent, just watching. Because in that momentâyouâre not posing. And heâs never loved you more.
You take care of him when heâs sick
He has a fever of 99°F and insists heâs fading. You bring tea, stroke his hair, whisper that heâs âvery brave.â You donât mock him. You take his dramatics seriously. He will never forget it. He may also write you into his will.
You join him in the bathtub without asking
Heâs already halfway submerged, music playing, steam curling in the airâand then you slip in behind him, no warning. You nudge your legs around his hips, hand him your shampoo, and let him wash your hair while you giggle. He tries to act unimpressed. But when he starts kissing your toes? Yeah. You win.
âš Top 10 Behavioral Anomalies That Triggered Xavierâs Internal Alert System
You break an agreementâeven if it's âjust a small oneâ
Itâs not about control. Itâs about structure. You promised. And when you bend the rulesâjust slightlyâhe doesnât react outwardly. No visible shift, no sharp breath. But something behind his eyes goes cold. Because for him, even small deviations mean recalculating everything. And that means risk. To you.
You create drama âjust to get a reactionâ
You push. You poke. You escalate. And he gives you⊠nothing. No outburst, no flinch. Just that flat, unreadable stare while he mentally exits the room. He doesnât get angryâhe just shuts off the part of himself that wants to stay.
You refuse his protectionâon principle
You call it independence. He calls it a strategic vulnerability wrapped in pride. He wonât argue. Heâll just be one step farther back the next time, quietly cataloging how to stop caring just enough that it wonât kill him if something happens.
You call him coldâespecially when heâs holding himself together for you
You see stillness. He feels restraint. You accuse. He remembers what it takes to not become the darker version of himself. If only you knew how much energy it took to stay composed. If only you knew it was for you.
Youâre late
Five minutes. Ten. No message. No explanation. And his pulse ticks upwardânot with impatience, but with pure, trained alertness. He starts looking for signs. Traffic reports. Emergency alerts. By the time you arrive, heâs smiling. But itâs the tight kind. The kind that says never again.
You skip training
Youâre tired. You had a long day. You say youâll make it up later. He doesnât argue. He just recalculates survival probabilities and mentally adds you to the list of people who might die because they were unprepared. And he will blame himself for letting you get soft.
You pull away from his touch when you're angry
Itâs not the rejection. Itâs the meaning behind it. He reaches outâsmall, careful, calculatedâand you shut the door in his face with a single backward step. He doesnât try again. He doesnât ask why. But the space you leave behind? It echoes.
You use a photo of Lumiere as a bookmark
You think itâs cute. Maybe even sweet. He sees itâand freezes. Heâs not jealous. Not exactly. But the idea that you might admire that version moreâthe legend, the mask, the sharpnessâit unsettles something deep. Something he canât name.
You secretly believe youâre not good enough for him
You never say it out loud. But he sees itâin your deflections, your nervous jokes, the way you doubt his love like itâs a glitch. It doesnât anger him in the usual sense. It justâŠhurts. Because youâre the only one who never had to earn it.
You throw yourself in front of him during a mission
Itâs instinct, you say. Split-second decision. You didnât even think. And thatâs the problem. He does. Always. Every variable, every movement, every risk is accounted forâexcept you breaking formation to protect him. You think itâs brave. He sees it as catastrophic miscalculation. Not because you acted without logic. But because you decided his life was worth more than yours. And that? Thatâs the one conclusion he refuses to accept.
âšTop 10 Things That Quietly Break Xavierâs Walls and Leave Him Unreasonably Soft About You
When you start reading the same book heâs readingYou donât announce it. You just show up with the same title, a few chapters behind, and start casually asking questions. He plays it off. But inside? Heâs spiraling. Because thisâthisâis how you speak his language. Silently. Precisely. Together.
When you knock on his door like youâre trying to break it downItâs loud. Impatient. Inappropriate for the hour. But he knows that knock. That rhythm. That you. You need him. Not his solutions. Him. And somehow, that chaos pounding on his door feels more like home than anything else.
When you hug him from behindYou wrap your arms around his torso mid-task, face pressed between his shoulder blades, palms splayed across his chest like youâre anchoring yourself to something ancient and steady. He stills. Every time. Like someone just whispered a secret to his bones. He never asks why. Never moves away. He just tilts his head slightlyâlistening, as if your silence said everything he needed to hear.
When you touch his sword (the actual weapon, calm down)He never lets anyone handle it. Not even for cleaning. But your fingers skim the hilt, gentle, curious, reverent. And somehow⊠itâs okay. Youâre not just touching steel. Youâre touching him. And he lets you.
When you act like a little girlYou scrunch your nose. Say something ridiculous. Blush like you didnât mean to. And he watchesâutterly disarmed. Because he knows exactly what you want. You want him to carry you. Wrap you up. Keep you safe. And he willâwithout hesitation.
When you join him on a morning runYou complain. You lag. You swear this is ânot your vibe.â But you still show up. Same hour. Same route. And when you match his pace for those few precious minutes? He doesnât say itâbut heâs proud. Painfully proud.
When you share your dreamsâand say âweâYouâre rambling. Light spilling from your words. Talking about the future, the maybes, the next steps. But you donât say I. You say we. And that sound? That tiny shift in grammar? It settles deep. Irrevocable. Permanent.
When you make matching braceletsYou say itâs silly. Handmade. Slightly uneven. Thereâs a charm shaped like a rabbit. He never takes it off. Not in combat. Not in sleep. It rests against his wrist like a pressure pointâand grounds him better than anything else.
When you remember his habitsYour shopping list always includes his cinnamon. His brand of shampoo. The exact instant noodles he pretends not to love. You donât make a show of it. You just know. And that knowing? It destroys him in the softest possible way.
When you trust him completely in bedâeven when his darker side surfacesThereâs a momentâquiet, chargedâwhen the softness shifts. He waits. Watches. Braces for resistance. But you donât pull back. You open your hands. Arch into him. Let him take control without fear. That? Thatâs what breaks him. Not the pleasure. The trust.
đ€Top 10 Things That Push Sylus Into Maximum Sarcasm and Mildly Homicidal Disapproval
Your outdated, unreliable weapon
Yes, he gets it. Itâs vintage. Itâs âstandard issue.â Itâs approved by the Hunters Association. Congratulations. That wonât matter when it jams and gets you killed. Every time you return one of the sleek, upgraded firearms he hand-delivers like heâs your personal armory concierge, he has to resist asking if you've already made a draft of your death wish. Alphabetically sorted. With floral headers.
You chew gumâand pop it
Itâs not the gum. Itâs the snap. The sudden, violent pop of sugary air bubbles that hits his trauma response like a trigger. He knows itâs just a noise. His shoulder still twitches. Heâs this close to reaching into your mouth and extracting the gum like a gentleman. A very sarcastic, deeply annoyed, half-feral gentleman.
You try to shake your tail (him)
You use stealth tech. You block your signal. You go dark. Adorable. Youâre forgetting that the very system youâre relying on was developed by his own syndicate. The only person who ever really evades Sylus is Sylus. And maybe the cat that lives under his car. But not you. Never you.
You donât introduce him as your boyfriend to your old classmates
You panicked. He gets that. You called him âa friend.â And now heâs deeply committed to the bit. For the next seven days, every time you said anything, he replied with âOf course, as your friendâŠâ in front of waiters, dealers, and one extremely confused ambassador. You only managed to shut it down by hastily posting a photo of you two with the caption âmy boyfriend and the love of my life.â Acceptable recovery. Barely.
You refuse to use his resources
His private jet? Untouched. His cars? Collecting dust. His black card? Sitting unused like some kind of insult in your purse. You say youâre âindependent.â He says youâre actively offending his entire lifestyle philosophy. Do you have any idea how disrespectful it is to ignore an entire walk-in wardrobe prepared for you in his estate? Honestly, itâs almost admirable. Almost.
You once smoked a cigarette, and he saw it
He didnât say anything. At the time. Just looked at you. Silently. Like someone had drop-kicked a kitten in front of him. Heâs not judging. Heâs just picturing your lungs in an ashtray. And adding another page to your death wish list.
You speak in riddles and expect him to âget itâ
You want somethingâtime away, a trip, his attentionâbut instead of asking, you sigh dramatically and murmur, âItâs fine. I guess some people just donât want to escape the city with their girlfriendsâŠâ He blinks. Slow. Dangerous. âWas that a request, a riddle, or an emotional booby trap?â If you want something from him, Kitten, try using nouns and verbs. Not cryptic guilt puzzles.
You suggest another woman would be âperfect for himâ
Itâs a joke. Offhand. Barely a breath. But your voice waversâjust slightlyâand that ruins it. He doesnât want her. He doesnât want options. He wants you. And now, thanks to your charming lapse in self-worth, he has to waste the rest of the evening reminding you that this face, this power, this entire empire already belongs to someone. Guess who.
You sneak up on him
You never mean to. But somehow, you're always the one person who slips past every alarm, every trained instinct, and ends up whispering behind him when his brain is still in kill mode. It takes everything in him to not react on pure reflex. You think itâs cute. He thinks itâs potentially catastrophic.
You donât believe him when he says heâs fine
Yes, heâs bleeding. Yes, his shirt is soaked. But he said âitâs a scratch,â and when he says thatâhe means it. His body heals like a myth. Your worried face? It makes something in him ache. Because the real wound isnât on himâitâs in you, for thinking heâs anything less than unbreakable.
đ€ Top 10 Things That Make Sylus Dangerously Soft for You (And Yes, Heâs Keeping Score)
When you finally spend his money
It started with coffee. Small. Harmless. But the alert hit his phone and, for a moment, he genuinely wondered if his card had been stolenâuntil he saw your name. And something in him shifted. Not because of the cost. Please. He could buy the city it was brewed in. No, it was the fact you used it. You. Willingly. Now? Youâre bolderâlittle dresses, shoes, jewelry you donât need. And every time you do, he rewards it like you just proved you understand the assignment: what's his, is already yours.
When you give orders to his men like you're the boss
You donât ask. You instruct. Calm, certain, completely in charge. One of his men hesitatesâjust onceâwhile youâre directing them to rescue a terrified kitten stuck in a tree. Sylus doesnât interfere. He just watches, arms crossed, a grin tugging at his mouth as armed professionals scramble to obey you like you're the patron saint of lost animals. Somewhere in his mind, heâs already fitted you for a crown. With tiny cat ears.
When you secretly pet Mephisto
The mechanical raven used to drive you insane. Now? Youâre sneaking him treats and absentminded scratches under the jaw. Sylus sees it. Says nothing. But deep down, he knows: if youâve accepted the birdâyouâve accepted all of him. And thatâs lethal. To him.
When you make him a playlist
You never explain them. Just send a link and say nothing. But he listensâevery time. Alone. In his car. In the bath. Eyes closed, calculating your every choice like itâs encrypted intel. Each track? A hint. A mood. A coded message from you to him. He doesnât ask for them. He just waits for the next one. And when it arrives, he treats it like gospel.
When you leave a trail of chaos in his car
Your hair on the seat. Your gum wrappers in the cup holder. The seat so close to the wheel he practically has to fold in half. And the music? A full-volume love ballad ready to ambush his eardrums at ignition. It's obnoxious. Itâs inconvenient. Itâs perfect. His life, now featuring you.
When you eat from his plate
You swore you werenât hungry. You said âno carbs this week.â And now? Youâre stealing fries from his hand and dipping into his steak sauce like itâs your birthright. He doesnât stop you. He just watches you chew with that look that says: mine. forever.
When you talk and talk and talk
Something happens. You spiral. Words spill. Thoughts tangle. Youâre not even aware youâre ramblingâbut he is. He listens to everything. Stores it all. Because thereâs something magical about your voice when itâs unfiltered. You donât realize it, but he falls a little harder every time you forget to censor yourself.
When you crawl into his lap while heâs working
Heâs in the middle of paperwork. Calculating things. Dangerous things. And suddenlyâyou. Right there. Knees on either side, arms around his neck, like the worldâs most beautiful interruption. He tells himself he needs to finish. But his hands are already on your hips.
When you call and ask for help
A jar. A stuck zipper. A ride. It doesnât matter. Youâre a trained hunterâyouâve faced things with claws, fangs, and no name. But you still call him. Because you want him. And that? That wrecks him in ways heâll never admit. Heâs already on his way before you hang up.
When you scream his name right before you come
Thereâs a lot heâs proud of. His empire. His power. His record. But nothingânothingâsatisfies him more than the moment your voice breaks open with his name. Like prayer. Like surrender. Like heâs the only thing in your world. Which, of course⊠he is.
LOOK AT BABY SHICHIROU HES SO CUTE OMG đđđ I didn't know I needed this image in my life but now that I have it I will never let it go thank u Nishi-sensei. I really like Balam's curious spirit and how passionate he is about creatures, but that's what gave him his facial scar. Respect for life is an important lesson to learn and I'm glad he grew from that experience.
"Don't lie! I can always tell when you do." - Mama Balam
This is probably because their bloodline magic is literally a lie detector test.
Being honest is probably a huge thing in the Balam household. I remember when Iruma told Balam he was human and tried to deny it, Balam said along the lines of: "Lying is not good!"
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So Nishi did a Kalego themed Q&A on the 14th since it was Kalego's birthday (and she apparently didn't have time to draw up something). And answered 6 questions. translations provided by @blue-spider-lily
Links after each question/answer so we have sources (b/c they will get lost on twitter at some point)
Q1 Did Misfits celebrate his birthday?
A: Yep. They did. He kept receiving so many messages and pics through DeviLINE that his notifications wouldn't stop so he switched it off for a day.
Then he marked them all as read. [X]
Q2 We know he hates sweets but is there any food he likes?
A: He likes chewy food. He also eats meat AND the bones
He doesn't enjoy soft food [X]
Q3: How does Kalego shop for stuff? Does he go to the Magical Street? Shop online? Or just call the merchants to his house like the nobility do?
A: He shops nobility style. Naberius Clan has their own exclusive merchant. [X]
Q4: Tell us about some happy or fun memory with his brother from when they were children.
A: Kalego: We played with⊠frisbee. [X]
Q5: What does he think about Momonoki?
A: Kalego: � She's an excellent coworker. Though she still didn't shake off her nervousness. She should calm down a little. [X]
Q6: He rarely participates in the drinking parties but is there someone he drinks with occasionally? Like Balam or Dali?
A: He drinks with Balam. Sometimes Yamanda joins them. Dali often invites him for a drink but Kalego always refuses so Dali ends up drinking with Otonja. [X]
(Yamanda is the Sabnok Security devil and a classmate of theirs from their school days)
BONUS
An user tweeted: This is a question from my 5yo daughter
"What is Eggy-chan's favorite lunch option at school?"
A: If you tear off a bit of bread and feed it to Eggy-chan, he'll eat it! [X]