CALL ME CARSON TWEETS sentence starters
change pronouns / grammar where needed !
“ one time in preschool i learned how plants used oxygen to grow , so i breathed on ever tree outside the school to help save the environment. ”
“ i was an idiot , but you aren’t. ”
“ i can’t believe this really works. ”
“ i don’t even gotta eat , i can just live off vibes. ”
“ i just took a dna test , turns out i’m 100% swag. ”
“ i have a poor sense of fashion. tell me what to wear. ”
“ i require real advice. i am clueless. ”
“ do you think shakespeare ever told people to get their act together ? ”
“ dudes that are into cars are just the male version of horse girls. ”
“ they only become an extension of my sadness. ”
“ getting real sick of your shit , ( name. ) ”
“ communication with my future significant other will be done almost exclusively via twitch emotes. ”
“ you’ve become what you sought to destroy. ”
“ send me something that will trigger a fight or flight response. ”
“ every popular love song ever made was about me. ”
“ i break hearts , ( name. ) ”
“ wood - fired pizza ? that sounds pretty good. ”
“ got cargo shorts so i could fit all my swag in my pockets. ”
“ if i put a water bottle up to my ear , can i hear the ocean ? ”
“ i gotta get some better jokes. ”
“ i accidentally wore a traffic cone instead of a birthday hat to a birthday party once and everyone avoided me. ”
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