10:08 pm

today i stepped out a little after sunset. the sky was still a little orange and the air was still a little warm. neighbors had food on the grill, the smell of smoke and bbq, the distant sound of friendly chatter.

i couldn’t help it. nostalgia engulfed me.

slow evenings of my distant childhood, grandma is still alive. there’s food on the grill, parents are still young, life is belly laughter with best friends and icecream and books. the time that is forever gone had never left.

the people that are forever gone are frozen in time.

i don’t know. i’m not even sure if i’m sad. but there’s an urdu word im feeling and i don’t know what the english translation would be.

udhas.