Just saw a velociraptor sucking dick on my dash and y'all better appreciate me not making all of you see it too

Where’s the fucking picture, op

You fucking asked for it

!!!!

thepacificparrotlet

New pokemon confirmed

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

18-22 is a confusing age. I got friends getting married, some in prison, and some still have to ask their parents to stay out past curfew.

i gotta suspicion everyone got a secret hoard of something they keep hidden from their friends let if its shoes and makeup or like teacups that shits fine and all but once i went to my buddy mikes house and like,, well i knew him for years since like fucking 2006, we talk non stop,used to be my bff of the year and what not, ya whatever, i hop to get something from his basement once and i turn on the light and its littered with not a handful, but at least 20 hand made dollhouses with little trees and paint jobs and everything made from wood he harvested from his fathers construction company, all he missing is furniture and little people like FUCK that fucked me up so bad, but thats not the point of my story here see, it didnt fuck w me as much as after i visited my not so much anymore freinds house in 10th grade and she had a collection of her friends hair and she asked me for a snippet becasue she never had blue before and i went home and blocked her number anyway she jsut messaged me on instagram 30 min ago and i had to like sit in my kitchen in the dark for a while jsut thinking about how scary it is to know people but not know them at all

This is cute and I’m glad you were so supportive of something he was embarrassed of

squad is over we’re cults now

me @ myself: ok bitch time to get over it

Every time I have to walk home: death would be better than this.

The road has to be made of concrete because tar just slides down…

SPLAT!