Sybellie

books by Renee Ahdieh-  part one-feel free to change pronouns or edit for rp purposes

“Your smile shames the sun.”

Some things exist in our lives for but a brief moment. And we must let them go on to light another sky.”

“There is no one I would rather see the sunrise with than you.” 

“My soul sees its equal in you.” 

“You kneel before no one. Least of all me.” 

“For without a measure of arrogance, how can one attempt the impossible?” 

“I could see her daring a cobra to strike, swearing her venom would kill first.” 

“I’ve always believed a man is what he does, not what others say.” 

“I understand how difficult it is, putting your heart in someone else’s hands. But, if you don’t, how will you ever truly know a person?”

“you are boundless, there is nothing you can’t do.”

“There is a vast difference between meaning to do something and actually doing it.” 

“But I’m not here to fight. I’m here to win.” 

“A shared history does not entitle you to a future, my friend.” 

“You have a beautiful laugh. Like the promise of tomorrow.” 

“You honestly expect me to breathe in a world without air?” 

“I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it.”

“Strong enough to take on the world with our bare hands, yet we permit ridiculous boys to make fools of us.”

“After all, everyone has a story.”

“Love is—a shade of what I feel.” 

“This destroyer of worlds and creature of wonder.” 

“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster. to want something so much—to hold it in your arms — and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”

My queen is without limitations. Boundless in all that she does. Show them.” 

“And how will you know when you’ve found the elusive someone? I suspect she will be like air. Like knowing how to breathe.” 

“If you are just one girl, I am just one boy.”

There is nothing I would not do for you. Nothing I would not consider if it meant keeping you safe. The world itself should fear me if it stands between us.”

“So you intend to go through life never loving anyone? Just … things?”

“A true plague of a girl. And yet a queen in every sense of the word.”

“You are not weak. You are not indecisive. You are strong. Fierce. Capable beyond measure.” 

“What are you doing to me, you plague of a girl?”

“If I’m a plague, then you should keep your distance, unless you plan on being destroyed.”

“It’s inevitable. When you meet the one who makes you smile as you’ve never smiled before, cry as you’ve never cried before… there is nothing to do but fall.” 

“I will live to see tomorrow’s sunset. Make no mistake. I swear. I will live to see as many sunsets as it takes. And I will kill you. With my bare hands.” 

“I believe when you truly love someone, you want what’s best for that person.” 

“Is that kind of disrespect … normal?”

“The worst kind of lie—the kind shrouded in good intentions. The kind cowards use to justify their weakness.”

“When I was a boy, my mother would tell me that one of the best things in life is the knowledge that our story isn’t over yet. Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told. Make it a story worthy of you” 

“I suspect she will be like air. Like knowing how to breathe.” 

“This dangerous girl. This captivating beauty.

This destroyer of worlds and creator of wonder.” 

Then never speak of sending me away again. I am not yours to do with as you will.”

“It’s not normal. But it’s not unexpected. It’s the curse of being a woman,”

“Perhaps you should spend less time despising the game and more time building the patients necessary to win.” 

“For the wonder of a first love can never be matched.” 

“I suspect she will be like air. Like knowing how to breathe.”

“I failed you one last thing. Here is my chance to rectify it. It was never because I didn’t feel it. It was because I swore I would never say it, and a man is nothing if he can’t keep his promises So I write it to the sky - I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it.” 

“It is a great gift to find lasting love - one that gives for every bit it takes.” 

“You laugh very loud—as if you are the only one in the world,”

“On pain of death…you are as important to him as his own life.” 

“I know love is fragile. And loving someone like you is near impossible. Like holding something shattered through a raging sandstorm. If you want her to love you, shelter her from that storm…And make certain that storm isn’t you.” 

It was one thing to return his kiss; she’d been prepared for that. But it was another thing entirely to want his kiss… another thing entirely to desire his affections.” 

“In my life, the one thing I have learned above all is that no individual can reach the height of their potential without the love of others” 

“Is it so arrogant to want something that doesn’t change with the wind? That doesn’t crumble at the first sign of adversity?”

“People fall in and out of love with the rising and setting of the sun. Rather like a boy who loves the color green one day, only to discover on the morrow that he truly prefers blue.” 

“I never lose, nor am I afraid to spill blood.” 

“For his children, he would move mountains.”

“It’s never been a question of who is going to let me behave a certain way; it’s always been a question of who is going to stop me. I thank you for answering it.” 

“Do you think you’re invincible? That you live off nothing but fresh dew and cold fury?” 

“My mother used to say that a man who can’t appreciate poetry lacks a soul.” 

“My favorite color is violet. The scent of roses makes me feel at home, wherever I am. I do not enjoy fish, but I will eat it to make a loved one happy, suffering through my smile.” 

“It’s never been a question of who is going to let me behave a certain way; it’s always been a question of who is going to stop me.” 

“Loss is loss. And the lesson is always the same.” 

“It must be said. These truths, no matter how harsh, must be said.” 

“For this was a kiss of definition. A kiss of understanding. For a marriage absent pretense. And a love without design.” 

“It was a vain attempt at indifference, on both their parts. “

“As you said, revenge will never replace what I have lost. What you have lost. All we have is now. And our promise to make it better.” 

“You are—remarkable. Every day, I think I am going to be surprised by how remarkable you are, but I am not. Because this is what it means to be you. It means knowing no bounds. Being limitless in all that you do.”

“I am young, and, therefor, I know my words only carry a certain weight in the world, but I do know enough to realize you cannot control the actions of others. You can only control what you do with yourself afterward.” 

“I am just curious at heart, and my curious heart has quite a fondness for love stories.” 

“It was the last thing I ever said to her. A lie. The worst kind of lie –the kind shrouded in good intentions. The kind cowards use to justify their weakness.” 

“Such is the way of rumors. We are often the last to know the ones in our honor.”

Here is how the story goes: golden as a chosen son, walking with head held high as mountaintops, built to face the vastness of the world and return unscathed. Except, of course, for the smallest part of him, the place he stands, the place he breaks. 

I consider the delicacy of Achilles. A god falling short of Godhood, mortality lent from fingertips. Gods cannot die, but their parents rarely rear them either: cast off mountains, bursting from their father’s head, birthed from the dying and the dead. Did love curse Achilles before violence was given the chance? 

They say war and love cannot stay away from each other, an eternal dance of cheating Aphrodite, seductive of Ares; but Aphrodite was a goddess of war before beauty with one tucked away inside the other. And the epic of Achilles was a love story before Patroclus or Helen. (Could’ve he have stayed away from battles and bloodshed? Or was fate and man tucked away inside each other)

Here is how the story goes: Achilles is killed by the parts of him exposed, the softest part where his mother knelt down and said: you will not drown. I will bear you. I will build you up safe and build you up strong for even when I’m gone. Permanent as any scar.

Safe, safe, safe.

Tell me you love me.

Tell me with your face of dainty spring

Show with your mind and soul of darkness.

Love me with the beast beneath your skin,

Let your rage,

With my darkness sing.

Tell me you do not regret,

For you lost everything when you came here.

Tell me I set you free.

Tell me that you were longing for this

For this new breath,

Tell me it was me,

That gave you happiness,

This life.

Because my dear Persephone,

My fierce wife,

And regal queen,

You are the storm that breaks me,

The life I need.

And if I have wronged you,

Forgive me, my darling.

My love, Persephone, if only you knew,

How deep it runs

My life,

My throne

All laid bare before you.

If you could do it again,

Would you stay?

Would you stay in this world you brought life to?

Say yes.

Say yes, Persephone,

For you are all I want,

All I wish for

All I need.

Say yes,

You'd do it again.

You'd break free of those

gold, jewelled chains.

That diamond choker,

Was still a noose.

A golden cage is still a cage.

The God of the Dead,

Who loved a goddess of life.

The fates might have chosen it,

This lovely thing we share.

This dance of dark and passion,

That no God would break,

Would even dare.

Say yes.

Yes.

I would.

That's all I want to hear.

-Lovebird.

A little pre-Valentine's poem.

Love *shudders*

“Do you think there’s a corner of this Earth that you could travel to far away enough free me from this torment?”

“[…] that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence”

“You are the bane of my existence”

“And the object of my desires”

REGÉ-JEAN PAGE in Bridgerton (2020-)

Bonus:

Me watching two characters in a period drama let the backs of their hands lightly brush in a moment of emotional intimacy so intense they can’t meet each others’ eyes: 

The rest of the cast and me watching from my couch:

Organized by color

Red

Vibrant

Over the Garden Wall

Winter/Christmas

Bordeaux/Maroon

Deep Red and Black

Red and Pink

Orange

Orange

Orange, Pink, Tan

Tan, Orange, Yellow

Fall Colors

Vibrant

Halloween

Witchy

Yellow

Black, Yellow Gold

Tan, Orange, Yellow

Vibrant

Neon

Over the Garden Wall

Pastel Yellow

Groovy

Nineties

Peach and Teal

Green

Grey, Green, and Pink

Mint Green

Vibrant

Neon

Halloween

Green and Purple

Winter/Christmas

Hunter Green

Green Gradient

Nineties

Bordeaux/Maroon

Witchy

Blue

Blue, White, and Tan

Neon

Over the Garden Wall

Pastel Blue

Groovy

Peach and Teal

Purple

Lilac, Grey

Pastel Purple

Halloween

Green and Purple

Nineties

Witchy

Pink

Grey, Green, and Pink

Pastel Pink

Orange, Pink, and Tan

Neon

Groovy

Nineties

Peach and Teal

Red and Pink

Black

Black, Yellow Gold

Halloween

Black and White

Hunter Green

All Black

Deep Red and Black

White/Cream

Blue, White, and Tan

Black and White

Hunter Green

Bordeaux/Maroon

All White

Brown/Tan

Blue, White, and Tan

Orange, Pink, and Tan

Tan, Orange, Yellow

Fall Colors

Over the Garden Wall

Winter/Christmas

Witchy

Grey

Grey, Green, and Pink

Lilac, Grey

Hunter Green

Deep Red and Black

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I dreamed that you had ceased to love me – not that you had come from other beds back to mine, or gone from mine to others, just that something in your heart had stopped. I willed myself awake to find you still beside me. It was just a dream. I thought, yet when I turned to kiss you, in your eyes I saw that you had ceased to love me.

I willed myself awake a second time to find myself alone, as I have been these many months, but did not know if it was terror or relief I felt, and whether

dreams unfold the past or make the future plain. I dreamed that you had ceased to love me, and know when I see nothing in your eyes I can’t dream myself awake a third time.

Luis Ricardo Falero 1880 Falero’s Dream, oil on canvas, PC