awareness

Stop using Star for your petty online arguments that you never asked them about. I'm not saying to bother them over every little thing; I'm saying to at least quit speculating on them, their feelings, etc. No one, except for one person, has bothered to ask them how they feel about anything.

Do not use "but the victim!" just to shut down criticism. Quit using their name as a gotcha. Quit assuming how they feel about your petty internet squabbles. If you have questions about them or how they feel about something, you can contact them yourself.

Yes, she is my friend. Yes, we know each other in real life, and I was aware of her making this post. Not only did I consent, but I also gave input. Do not use me as some kind of gotcha in general, but especially not to her.

Warning for talk of grooming in the document.

Uh, Lavenoor, on the 24th of March you said you'd give a longer response after your exams, the week after. Its been been nearly three weeks babes. Considering how serious these allegations are, its surprising that you've been so quiet. It feels cowardly. Ur apology to the victim was kinda ass too so I was expecting more in the longer response that you had promised.

You started IAPTBAP 4 years ago. You've had so many long term fans that have followed you for years (sum of them probably spent their whole teenhoods being inspired by u and ur work).

Her "apology" to the public masked what had happened, claiming it was "lighthearted jokes" between friends if I remember right and then when I responded, admittedly extremely upset at how it was being warped, I'm pretty sure she tried to manipulate or gaslight me or something

HOWEVER, when it comes to minor-minor interactions online, i’d hardly call this explicit grooming. Grooming by definition is meant to be between two people with a power dynamic for the purpose of sexual abuse or some other form of indoctrination. while i see grooming TACTICS used, you haven’t elaborated on anything other than just some weird interactions.

Also, this was 7-8 years ago. People change, and i think Lavenoor did a really good job of explaining her side, too. not to mention that she was a minor as well???? she was being a dumb teenager and unless you come out with more claims i don’t see this to be as much of an issue as you’re making it out to be.

you got what you wanted; attention from lavenoor and an acknowledgment and apology for her previous actions and behaviors.

Also "minor to minor" — I was in middle school. She was finishing up high school; even if we were both minors and she was being a "dumb teenager," it still doesn't excuse talking about dating a TWELVE YEAR OLD.

"People change." I'm still going to call out what she did to me. Also frankly whether or not you see it as an issue is kind of irrelevant here, given that you weren't the one harmed by this.

I am 100000% against any form of grooming, abuse, etc. I have received masses of hate for standing my ground on these issues. I am also strongly against minors being exposed to explicit content, which is why I have always placed barriers to readers accessing the explicit works I have written. I have had minors send me explicit messages, minors try to roleplay smut with me, and my response has now defaulted to automatically blocking, and it’s been that way for years. Back when the iaptbap discord was very active, I made a strong rule for the general chat to not include anything explicit, including jokes, and relegated those topics to another 18+ channel. Even then, many adults and minors would make sexual comments in the general chat, which once again, I was adamantly against and promptly addressed.

But, like I have discussed openly before, my beliefs and behaviors weren’t always like this. As a minor with unlimited internet access, there was a point where I was incredibly desensitized to explicit content, yandere content, etc. there was a point that I, much like many impressionable young readers, believed yandere content was desirable and romantic. Like many minors, at one point I didn’t think it was a big deal to consume sexual content, or discuss sexual content. As a minor, I engaged in sexual conversations with adults and other minors because once again, it was so heavily normalized and treated as lighthearted convo among friends. Although it’s less commonplace now because of the way online discourse has evolved, there are still many conversations online between adults and minors that are explicit in nature, like when discussing some explicit story or show. (However, as a minor, I never produced sexual content — the most I had written were make out scenes which I incorrectly labeled as smut). consequently, as a teen, I believed there was nothing wrong with certain problematic tropes; I remember reading Fruits Basket and thinking nothing of the gross age gaps and problematic tropes, and the online spaces I was a part of never acknowledged it either. There was physically no way for me to know right from wrong since none of the internet spaces I was in discussed anything even related to morality. It was never right for me to do and believe what I did — this is not me justifying that — this is more of me pointing out a larger overarching issue about unregulated, unsafe internet spaces in the 2010s and giving context behind the way I operated.

After becoming an adult, through my more mature circles, classes, and expanding what I read, I became exposed to new perspectives and realized how awful and concerning it was that so many of these things were so heavily normalized. Finally, these things were being actively discussed and my eyes were opened. I absolutely acknowledge that I made some awful decisions when I was early to the fanfiction space around 13-17 and I apologize for that. I said, read, and discussed content I would never be comfortable with today (and for the past many years). But I want to emphasize that being actively against yandere behavior, abuse, and grooming has been a core, integral part of my values as soon as I became an adult and matured into my values. It’s something I will continue to do no matter how much hate I get for it.

You were SIXTEEN almost SEVENTEEN since your birthday was in April. I was TWELVE. Acting like you'd ever date a MIDDLE SCHOOLER is not and will never be acceptable. This wasn't lighthearted jokes between friends.

Why were you jealous of my friend, who was FIFTEEN at the time? Why did you encourage my obsession?