Lauusoph

*2AM*

Aries: Throws hundreds at Cancer; earns a private lap dance at their house…

Taurus: Doesn’t show much of a reaction to watching the strippers, but is secretly trying to decide which one to seduce after hours

Gemini: Attempts to seduce Leo, but ends up boring them with endless dirty talk

Cancer: Spends the whole night trying to seduce Aries; succeeds entirely

Leo: Laughing with Sagittarius, but offers to pay Libra the price of the outfit as compensation; doesn’t do it

Virgo: Is quietly enjoying the show; stops to wipe some of Sagittarius’ drink off the floor so they don’t have to worry about accidentally stepping in it later

Libra: Pissed because Sagittarius spilled their drink all over their new lingerie, even though it was their fault for deciding to twerk on them

Scorpio: Watches the show and doesn’t say anything to anyone because they’re too busy thinking of all the dirty things they’re going to do to that one right there who’s going home with them…

Sagittarius: Accidentally spills their drink all over Libra’s outfit; laughs because they’re too drunk to give a shit

Capricorn: Starts to be the first one to leave; sees their boss at another table; has a few drinks with him and ends up getting promoted

Aquarius: The most exotic stripper there; makes the most money without having to touch anyone; has mastered the art of seduction

Pisces: Is a bit flustered, but came because all their friends were coming; spends most of their time trying to make conversation at the table

When we hear the same compliments multiple times each shift

Our reaction to non-tipping customers, sitting at the tip rail A newbie learning the ropes Flirting is an art form When a customer says “For free?!” Some Top Earners Hearing the latest gossip about you When dancers sit with a customer for 30mins+ for free Theme nights! When a girl is on stage and she DOESN’T POINT HER TOES Most guys in the club after a few drinks

Our mantra

Leave their blog. Don’t follow it, don’t read the posts, don’t comment on it, don’t talk to them about it. Just pretend like it never happened.

Seriously. I’m dead serious.

I’ve been awake in this world for too long