meow >:3c

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

i forget that "blood and gore are hot" as an opinion is relatively normalized on tumblr and NOT in real life. #SOCIALBLUNDER

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

it implies a "postcum"

(Comes back from the evil sorceress’s tower covered in suspiciously placed bruises and poorly hidden hickeys) Uh Yeah Uhm she was torturing me Haha don’t worry abt it. By the way have you guys ever considered joining Her Dark Army

I am the surgeon & I am the patient & I am the technician handing over the scalpel & I am the scalpel & I am the pervert touching themselves in the corner

never shouldve smoked that shit, now i’m on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek

Happy 30th birthday bisexuality

having a soft small pet is like, you are so vulnerable, you are biting me, I am responsible for your fragile life in almost every way, your knife hands are in my stomach, I love you more than anything, stop eating plastic you heathen, I cannot save you from the slow march of age or explain to you the divergence of our life spans which consumes me

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them