"The path to a place of lost love"

A Greek Epinetron, a ceramic cover for the knees used by women so that their clothing would not be spoiled while weaving. Typically offered as a wedding gift, it was often taken to a woman's grave. 425-420 BC. National Museum, Athens.

The epinetron (Greek: ἐπίνητρον, pl.: epinetra, ἐπίνητρα; "distaff"); Beazley also called them onoi, sg.: onos) was a shape of Attic pottery worn on the thighs of women during the preparation of wool, not unlike a thimble for the thigh.[1] Decorated epinetra were placed on the graves of unmarried girls, or dedicated at temples of female deities.[citation needed]

Because of the strong association between wool-working and the Ancient Greek ideal of women and wives—as in the case of Penelope weaving in the Odyssey—it is a shape associated with the wedding.[2]

The theme of its decoration tended to be related to its use. The top surface was often incised to make it rough in order to rub the wool fibers. There was often a female head placed at the closed end, where the knee was covered. Epinetra were often decorated, sometimes depicting black figure Amazon women, as in the case of an epinetron painted by the Sappho painter between 500 and 490 BCE.[3]

(cw: rape, sexual assault, CSA, incest, domestic abuse, religious abuse, etc.)

The article, as you might have gathered from that list of content warnings, is about the widespread sexual and physical abuse in Amish communities and the way that their patriarchal and insular practices make that abuse almost impossible to prosecute.

I read that article when it came out, and that's why I went to a screening of McClure's new documentary, Keep Quiet and Forgive, at the Philadelphia Film Festival last month. We were also lucky enough to have a Q&A with Sarah McClure and it was really eye-opening.

(For those who want to watch it, I believe she said the doc will air on PBS next year.)

One thing I was really struck by when watching the documentary was the way that almost all of these women (and yes, a few men who'd been sexually abused by other men) had left the community. It makes sense; would someone still in the community ever talk to an investigative journalist? It's not likely.

Almost all of them had lost their entire support system when they'd spoken out about their abuse. Their families and friends shunned them. They got hate mail regularly from their former neighbors. Whenever they went to court dates, they had to face not only their abusers but their entire former community, who would turn up to support the accused in court.

The few who were still in the community were either going to meetings secretly or were largely being shunned. One of them, a woman who still identified as Amish but whose entirely community had turned on her when she'd testified against her wildly abusive husband, ended up leaving the community entirely by the end of the documentary. She looked so much happier.

Where I'm going with this, though, is that these people often lose their friends, family, and community when they leave. So they've started creating community of their own. The documentary showed a lot of meetings between former Amish women who would band together to support other Amish women through the process of leaving and testifying against their abusers. There were group therapy sessions where women would finally get to talk about what had been done to them. Conferences where they discussed future steps. Meetings with activists to create change. Podcasts by victims of abuse who wanted to reach out to others like them.

Groups like The Amish Rescue Mission are working to provide support to victims of abuse in Amish Country, including providing Pennsylvania Dutch interpretation services when necessary. There are lots of small survivor support groups on Facebook, too.

I don't generally add to posts, but I did want to spread this information, reporting, and list of resources to anyone who might benefit from them. I am no expert, but I wanted to link to some people who are.

i feel compelled to mention that there is nothing wrong with enjoying cozy/low stakes stories. i enjoy those on occasion myself but we have got to stop with this notion that the content of the media a person consumes is some sort of moral indicator. that's part of why i started doing the is he a green flag posts, because the online attitude of "if i like this character or enjoy this drama i have to find a way to make it morally good or else i'm a bad person" is so bonkers and unhealthy that i couldn't not make fun of it.

My other major fandom is Jane Austen and those books hardly contain anything problematic, except period normal patriarchy and some age gaps. They are awesome, I find them very interesting, but it's not like Jane Austen would have ever sought out to be on this list or called her novels ethical or moral. She was very against writing moral novels. So I have nothing against less dramatic plots however as you say, trying to make things inoffensive...

It's the labeling that really irks me and I just want to mock it.

i mean you could write a story about a grandma knitting sweaters and people will get mad about her using wool yarn because it’s animal abuse or something.