if youβre still here it means hey my felix is unaffiliated with the ferpc for the most part but i still want to write with you guys :)
we're not kids anymore.

titsay
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styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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romaβ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@lastfraldarius
if youβre still here it means hey my felix is unaffiliated with the ferpc for the most part but i still want to write with you guys :)

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@blaimedβ hey there :)
ISΒ ITΒ OVERΒ NOW ?Β DONβTΒ DEADΒ menΒ tellΒ talesΒ ofΒ victoryΒ bells ,Β theΒ drummingΒ inΒ theΒ streets ?Β enbarrΒ feelsΒ likeΒ theΒ opposite.Β thereΒ isΒ aΒ blanketΒ ofΒ silence ,Β hushingΒ evenΒ theΒ rowdiestΒ ofΒ soldiersΒ intoΒ murmuringΒ corners.Β
theΒ palaceΒ isΒ noΒ better.Β felixΒ picksΒ atΒ theΒ stoneΒ withΒ hisΒ swordΒ toΒ scroungeΒ up --Β aΒ vulnerary ,Β anotherΒ sword ,Β something ,Β anything ,Β forΒ theΒ finalΒ chapterΒ inΒ theΒ warΒ /Β thisΒ isΒ theΒ worldβsΒ end ,Β shallΒ weΒ doΒ theΒ β one - two β ?Β /Β &Β comesΒ upΒ empty.Β itβsΒ a uselessΒ habitΒ meantΒ toΒ keepΒ themΒ waiting ,Β waiting --
βΒ thatΒ tookΒ youΒ longΒ enough ,Β βΒ theyΒ sayΒ sharply ,Β atΒ theΒ familiar ,Β hulkingΒ gaitΒ ofΒ dimitri.Β (Β heΒ wasΒ Β nervousΒ ,Β heβllΒ say ,Β toΒ followΒ afterΒ himΒ inΒ theΒ aftermathΒ ofΒ theΒ monstrousΒ formΒ edelgardΒ hadΒ taken ,Β whenΒ really ,Β theyΒ thinkΒ theyΒ wouldΒ haveΒ demandedΒ dimitriΒ settleΒ downΒ forΒ aΒ wellΒ earnedΒ Β napΒ asΒ soonΒ asΒ possible.Β )Β βΒ whatΒ wasΒ theΒ holdup ?Β β
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β @blaimedβΒ sent.Β (Β LITERALLYΒ FUCKΒ YOUΒ TOOΒ ) Β Β Β Β ' the day breaks night's fall ... isn't that right, felix? '
HOWΒ DAREΒ HE.Β HOWΒ DAREΒ HE ,Β Β dimitriΒ alexandreΒ blaiddyd ,Β spillΒ suchΒ poeticsΒ ontoΒ himΒ withΒ noΒ fear ?Β heΒ thinksΒ thatΒ heΒ mightΒ faint ,Β whenΒ dimitriΒ speaksΒ toΒ themΒ likeΒ this.Β withΒ suchΒ reverence ,Β kindness ;Β maybeΒ thisΒ isΒ allΒ theyβveΒ longedΒ for.Β maybeΒ allΒ thatΒ bitternessΒ wasΒ forΒ suchΒ affectionΒ heΒ couldnβtΒ have ,Β couldΒ notΒ Β graspΒ Β untilΒ now.Β (Β Β youΒ areΒ aΒ weapon ;Β &Β weaponsΒ doΒ notΒ weep.Β youΒ diedΒ atΒ thirteenΒ alongsideΒ yourΒ brother ;Β aΒ newΒ youΒ remains.Β )Β
βΒ stopΒ lookingΒ atΒ meΒ likeΒ that ,Β βΒ theyΒ answerΒ instead ,Β butΒ insteadΒ ofΒ aΒ scowl ,Β theyΒ turnΒ awayΒ toΒ hideΒ theΒ faintestΒ tracesΒ ofΒ aΒ smile.Β yes ,Β yes ,Β howΒ dareΒ heΒ turnΒ himΒ intoΒ suchΒ aΒ sentimentalΒ fool.Β wordsΒ areΒ meaningless --Β heβsΒ convincedΒ Β himselfΒ soΒ forΒ soΒ long ,Β but now ,Β theΒ wordsΒ areΒ aΒ promiseΒ keptΒ closeΒ toΒ theirΒ heart.Β Β surelyΒ Β dimitriΒ knowsΒ whatΒ heβsΒ saying ,Β whatΒ itβllΒ do --Β flushΒ theirΒ cheeksΒ crimson ,Β makeΒ himΒ turnΒ hisΒ gazeΒ away.Β (Β felixΒ findsΒ himselfΒ alreadyΒ doingΒ soΒ rightΒ Β now.Β Β truly ,Β whatΒ aΒ disagreeableΒ man.Β )
why ,Β then ?Β βΒ youΒ alreadyΒ knowΒ myΒ answer ,Β βΒ heΒ says ,Β voiceΒ lowΒ insteadΒ ofΒ soft.Β heΒ doesnβtΒ thinkΒ himselfΒ capableΒ ofΒ gentleness --Β hasΒ never ,Β truly ,Β thoughtΒ themselfΒ capableΒ ofΒ anythingΒ closeΒ toΒ it.Β stillΒ felixΒ tries --Β oh ,Β heΒ tries ,Β heΒ tries ,Β ifΒ onlyΒ forΒ dimitriβsΒ sake.Β βΒ iΒ shouldnβtΒ haveΒ toΒ spellΒ itΒ outΒ forΒ you ,Β βΒ theyΒ continue ,Β lookingΒ backΒ upΒ toΒ him.Β ah --Β thisΒ isΒ tooΒ complex ,Β maybe ,Β forΒ themΒ toΒ siftΒ through.Β still ,Β theyΒ areΒ capableΒ ofΒ suchΒ simplicitiesΒ likeΒ this :Β steppingΒ aΒ footΒ closer ,Β bringingΒ upΒ theirΒ handsΒ toΒ straightenΒ dimitriβsΒ furΒ cloak.
βΒ but ,Β βΒ heΒ continues ,Β &Β nowΒ heβsΒ soft ,Β pressingΒ hisΒ headΒ toΒ dimitriβsΒ shoulderΒ asΒ ifΒ toΒ hideΒ theirΒ admissionΒ fromΒ theΒ restΒ ofΒ theΒ world.Β onlyΒ forΒ dimitri ,Β onlyΒ betweenΒ them :Β βΒ youΒ wouldnβtΒ beΒ wrong ,Β iΒ suppose.Β βΒ thatΒ isΒ onlyΒ theΒ firstΒ half ;Β mentally ,Β felixΒ bracesΒ himselfΒ forΒ hisΒ nextΒ truth ,Β theΒ nextΒ partΒ ofΒ theΒ fairytale.Β βΒ morningΒ doesΒ followΒ night ,Β afterΒ all.Β β
noΒ matterΒ whereΒ itΒ takesΒ him.Β thatΒ isΒ yetΒ somethingΒ heΒ isΒ capableΒ ofΒ confessing ,Β somethingΒ thatΒ theyΒ willΒ tryΒ toΒ conveyΒ anotherΒ day.Β perhapsΒ theyβveΒ alreadyΒ shownΒ him --Β itβsΒ beenΒ aΒ longΒ &Β drearyΒ war ,Β ofΒ huntingΒ dimitriΒ &Β fightingΒ forΒ him ,Β fightingΒ byΒ hisΒ side.Β theyβveΒ longΒ grownΒ tiredΒ ofΒ holdingΒ aΒ blade ,Β ofΒ beingΒ one ,Β butΒ forΒ dimitriβsΒ sake ,Β theyΒ did.Β (Β Β unableΒ toΒ conveyΒ myΒ feelingsΒ toΒ you ,
iΒ imagineΒ allΒ sortsΒ ofΒ lives ,Β )Β heΒ thinksΒ heβsΒ moreΒ thanΒ readyΒ toΒ letΒ itΒ dropΒ now ,Β inΒ favorΒ ofΒ aΒ warmΒ &Β callousedΒ hand.Β β iβmΒ notΒ incapableΒ of emotion , βΒ heΒ onceΒ said ,Β &Β noΒ wordsΒ couldΒ everΒ beΒ truerΒ inΒ theirΒ mind.Β especiallyΒ here ,Β rightΒ here ,Β whereΒ heΒ closesΒ hisΒ eyesΒ &Β letsΒ hisΒ handΒ dropΒ toΒ graspΒ dimitriβs.Β Β gentleΒ ,Β gentle ,Β theyΒ mustΒ beΒ capableΒ ofΒ it ,Β theyΒ are.Β Β (Β Β &Β actΒ themΒ allΒ outΒ toΒ drawΒ yourΒ attention ,
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β oh ,Β flyΒ meΒ toΒ theΒ star. )
@lastfraldarius said:Β i thought iβd never see you again, once the stars were scattered in pieces, all over the galaxy.
unprompted / always accepting .
had i truly become the myth he deigned to divulge? had i formed entirely to those fears he tried to pull me away from? time was just as they said, an endless abyss that garnered untold desires and aberrations, and its claws had torn me to pieces. kindness was a rare form, and having not been graced with so much as a smile in all those years had done little but shown me what a cruel reality awaited beyond the walls of my assumed naivety. how had i not realized that what i was searching for all that time, was the splendorous daylight of felixβs gaze?
now there was nothing else besides that light, besides the warmth that had finally melted the icy tones he had grated me with in the far off past. suddenly my chest tightened painfully, but nothing had ever felt so satisfying. for once, i found myself at a complete loss for words, stunned into silence by the mere image of felix. perhaps it was the genuine desperation that clouded his eyes that he had never allowed me to witness before, or the startling lack of animosity in his voice that gave way to such a serene air, but i was truly lost in its beauty.
i simply could not restrain myself as i reached out to brush rogue locks from felixβs eyes, letting my thumb trace the crest of his sharp cheek. touch-starved and longing to share a moment of truth with none but him as my audience, my hand lingered possibly longer than it should have. but i felt no regret in this small act of affection, even hoped that it may lead to more. my heart bled and bled every lost drop from my body until i was barren of that which caused me pain.
but wasnβt pain what made us human?
like a deluge of memories, emotion, it all flooded back to me so quickly, as if a simple touch ignited a dormant flame. regret seeped from my very bones, drenched my skin with a permanent roughness that i could not bear to subject felix to. as impulsively as i had extended it, i lowered my hand if only to encircle him in a charged embrace: my offering to ensure him that i would not soon leave again.
β i β¦ could go on for weeks with words to express how deeply i regret my actions, but it would still not be enough. hahβ¦ besides, you have never been one to tolerate my long-winded speeches. thereforeβ¦ remaining by your side is what i must do to show you. β
i cannot see
GIVE ME A MOMENT.

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i cannot see
felix
a commission for @ronsenburg
this isnβt a friendship, this a warzone @lastfraldarius @knghtfell .
you want more asks, fucker?
Β Β Β Β @knghtfellβ sent. ( unprompted , fuck you. ) *ruffles his hair* *ruffles his hair* *ruffles his hair* *ruffles his h
THISΒ ISΒ ANΒ ACHEΒ LONGΒ GONE ;Β Β theΒ affectionΒ curdlesΒ inΒ yourΒ chestΒ asΒ yourΒ brotherΒ doesΒ so ,Β asΒ ifΒ nothingΒ hadΒ happened.Β asΒ ifΒ nothingΒ hadΒ Β changed.Β &Β maybe ,Β inΒ aΒ way ,Β thingsΒ havenβt :Β thatΒ isΒ stillΒ yourΒ olderΒ brother ,Β theΒ veryΒ sameΒ linesΒ &Β hairΒ &Β eyes.Β
&Β inΒ aΒ way ,Β thatΒ isΒ notΒ yourΒ brother.Β yourΒ brotherΒ diedΒ nineΒ yearsΒ agoΒ &Β nothingΒ canΒ goΒ backΒ toΒ theΒ wayΒ itΒ was ,Β beforeΒ hisΒ swordΒ &Β Β hisΒ Β shieldΒ endedΒ upΒ inΒ yourΒ arms.Β itΒ wasΒ aΒ burdenΒ &Β aΒ curse ,Β allΒ wrappedΒ inΒ one.Β (Β itΒ stillΒ is ,Β withΒ theΒ swordΒ atΒ yourΒ hipΒ &Β theΒ shieldΒ strappedΒ toΒ yourΒ back.Β youΒ wereΒ neverΒ madeΒ forΒ dukedom ,Β &Β youΒ doubtΒ youΒ everΒ willΒ be.Β Β )Β youΒ letΒ himΒ continueΒ forΒ aΒ momentΒ more ,Β ifΒ nothingΒ becauseΒ youΒ areΒ stillΒ stunnedΒ intoΒ place.
βΒ stopΒ it ,Β βΒ youΒ sayΒ first ,Β &Β thenΒ again ,Β louder ,Β withΒ moreΒ force :Β βΒ iΒ saidΒ stopΒ it.Β weΒ haveΒ noΒ Β timeΒ Β Β toΒ beΒ indulgingΒ inΒ suchΒ Β childishΒ Β thingsΒ likeΒ that.Β βΒ childish :Β youΒ wereΒ aΒ childΒ once ,Β &Β nowΒ youΒ areΒ aΒ weapon ,Β outΒ ofΒ bitternessΒ &Β tragediesΒ &Β heartbreakΒ &Β more.Β βΒ donβtΒ youΒ understand ?Β weΒ haveΒ aΒ warΒ toΒ fightΒ outΒ there.Β Β β
glenn :Β hisΒ nameΒ isΒ glenn.Β itΒ doesnβtΒ feelΒ right.Β nothing does ,Β anymore ,Β exceptΒ theΒ weightΒ ofΒ theΒ swordΒ inΒ yourΒ palmΒ asΒ youΒ drawΒ itΒ towardsΒ hisΒ neck.Β βΒ ifΒ youβveΒ gotΒ timeΒ forΒ suchΒ antics ,Β βΒ Β youΒ say ,Β &Β cannotΒ meetΒ hisΒ eyes ,Β youΒ lookΒ down ,Β down ,Β away ,Β beforeΒ yourΒ voiceΒ canΒ betrayΒ you ,Β βΒ thenΒ drawΒ yourΒ swordΒ &Β Β fight.Β β
oh β iβve been thinking about it for a while now, but iβm going to be alternating between he / him & they / them pronouns for felix. iβd appreciate it if partners could too!Β

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i forgot i changed my fucking url anyways my rules are at @sunraise
Asβ light and shadow Β Β Theβ sun and the moon Β Β Β Torn between loveβ and hate Β Β Β Β Β Iβve gotta get it somehow Β Β Β Β Β Β Gaining by losing always haunt us Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β To our dying day, stuck in the haze Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β How did it ever come to this?
You think it might have been better for him to have killed you when he could.
god has cursed me for my hubris & my work is never finished
βHowβ does it feel Gotβ no one on your side It isnβtβ how it is really meant to be
How did it ever come to this I thought Iβll never see you again Once the stars were scattered in piecesΒ all over the galaxyβ

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ππ½π²ππ΄πππ.Β Β /Β ugh ,Β fine.
Β Β Β Β Β Β β itβs nice to see you relaxing for a change, felix !! i was just on my way to the greenhouse to collect the vegetables, would you like to help me ?? βΒ @lastfraldarius .
THEREβSΒ ALREADYΒ AΒ REFUSALΒ BLOOMINGΒ ONΒ hisΒ tongue ,Β readyΒ toΒ snapΒ atΒ mercedesΒ withΒ allΒ heβsΒ worth.Β inΒ truth --Β nothingΒ soundsΒ betterΒ thanΒ anotherΒ eveningΒ spentΒ inΒ theΒ trainingΒ grounds ,Β &Β theyβreΒ readyΒ toΒ tellΒ herΒ so --
&Β bitesΒ onΒ theirΒ tongueΒ notΒ to.Β somehow ,Β theΒ thoughtΒ ofΒ disappointingΒ herΒ makesΒ theirΒ stomachΒ turn.Β (Β heβsΒ alreadyΒ beenΒ fairlyΒ rudeΒ toΒ her ,Β hasnβtΒ he ?Β )Β βΒ ...Β youΒ couldΒ askΒ anyoneΒ else ,Β βΒ heΒ saysΒ curtly ,Β butΒ stillΒ movesΒ toΒ walkΒ inΒ stepΒ withΒ her.Β βΒ butΒ ugh ,Β fine.Β ifΒ youΒ sayΒ so.Β β