Lapphund Aika

I started studies in economics and logistics. Those have gone good enough. No failed courses.

It's the living side of things. My employer wanted to have me on 'call-on-need' kind of contract. Which is fine if you're very busy and they have places where you could just go clean and then come back to lectures - which all were always in the evening and on Tuesday and Wednesdays. And I knew all that, told them all that.

Well, I mean it's been since April since I've been at work for full 8 hours. And I mean that was only ONE (1) day. Before that there was a whole month of not being called in. I had asked for a "thursday+friday always" kind of deal. But apparently that's not fine to them for what ever reason. (I know the reason would be that they would be forced to accommodate me and my lack of driver's license.)

The shitty thing is that I don't get money from anywhere else. I don't get a student tuition, because Kela said so due to my previous studies. The Unemployment office (TE-toimisto) wants nothing to do with students, so they finally cut ties with me even though I had specifically been told to keep in contact because I wasn't on my own work field. (Graphic designer =/= Cleaner) They even made me and tons of others leap through bureaucracy hoops for 3 damn months for red tape things. And for what? For them to suddenly just go: "oh, not our problem anymore".

So... fun.

I decided to ask for help. Both physical and psychological because I was crying for an entire week. During my days at work for the previous past 6 months I had been having my left leg go numb or just straight up be in pain for walking. My left hand was barely handling things with any sort of gripping motions and touches.

So I got into a short line of waiting because it was acute and imperative that well... things don't go from bad to worse. iykyk

I've had MRI, ENMG and x-rays taken from the entire left side of me and all the found was a scoliosis on my spine around the hips. Cool, doesn't explain anything to me.

Everyone who I've spoken to about the situation (at this time of the year - which is like 2 psychologists, 1 physiotherapist and 3 doctors) agrees that it is shitty. It is very much disgusting from both the employer and government.

I can't even move out even if I would want to. I wouldn't have the down payment for 2 months rent. Or anyway to even move my things. Not that I want to really. My apartment is very much cheaper than what is available here yet I still get told "you need to move into a s***e box" by the government (which is what we call 1 room+bathroom apartments).

I feel like shit as a human being, but like proud enough that I still force it out of me to keep my dogs healthy and happy. At the cost of something probably again. We've had up's-and-down's during the months, but nothing worse than boy liking the scent of bitches in heat.

So anyway... I'm still here.