‘lans🌙

sam: turns page to an illustration of thorin, with his dark hair and blue eyes

I've talked a lot about how Stranger Things ultimately failed its female characters, especially El. But pre-ST5, the show did a good job showing how mature El actually is. Of course she's been sheltered most of her life and therefore doesn't know as much about human interactions and relationships as she should, but it's established from the beginning that she's very intelligent and perceptive, and she catches on quickly. More importantly, she can survive being on her own.

She really, really didn't need an independence arc. Being independent and self-sufficient is kind of her whole thing.

More to the point, who does she need to be independent from? Hopper? Yes, he needed to learn to trust her to make good decisions, especially when it came to her relationship with Mike, but he's still her dad and she's still a kid. I realize that the "El needs to be independent" argument really comes from shippers, but it feels so disingenuous to me because throughout the series, it's established that El isn't with Mike out of obligation, but because she truly loves him and wants to be with him. If anything, Mike is more dependent on El than vice versa. And of course, that's kind of the point — they're established as being tethered by a supernatural force.

These same people often infantilize her and claim that there's no way she and Mike could have been physically intimate during their relationship. Look, I totally get it if you don't want to think of them that way, and the show never goes into whether or not they ever had sex during their relationship. But again, the people who are so adamant that they couldn't have ever had sex are acting that way because, well, it threatens their ship. Very young people, especially if they themselves haven't ever had sex, often romanticize the concept of virginity and believe that if someone comes into a relationship already having had sex with someone else, the sex they have with their new partner isn't as special. (As someone who had sex for the first time at 19, I'll admit that I had that thought process at one point as well. Then, as I dated more people, I learned that sex is different with each partner.)

I also find it troubling that these people say that part of why El and Mike couldn't have had sex during their relationship is because she's too naive and doesn't even know what sex is. Again, while she was sheltered most of her life, she's emotionally mature and intelligent, and she catches onto things quickly. More to the point, she often takes the initiative in her relationship with Mike! By Season 3, it's very clear she knows what she's doing. The "she doesn't even know what sex is" argument also reeks of ableism, as though people who are neurodivergent or disabled are inherently incapable of understanding sex or consent. When people make this argument, they're inadvertently taking a pro-eugenics stance.

And let's be real, by Season 5, she's 16. Her time in public school was brief, but it was enough that she would have learned about sex and birth control. She had TV and watched soap operas and gritty cop shows like Miami Vice. I also refuse to believe that Joyce didn't talk to her about it, especially in a "You don't have to do anything with Mike if you're not comfortable" way.

Let me repeat: The "El doesn't know about sex even in Season 5" argument is ableism disguised as faux concern for El's well-being, just because the thought of a girl having and enjoying sex with her canonical boyfriend threatens their non-canonical ship.

I've also noticed that recently, these people are promoting a new ship: El/Dustin, otherwise known as Henderhop. Even I can admit that it's very very funny how a certain portion of the Stranger Things fandom says that El needs to learn how to be independent from men, only to then ship her with a character she has only a handful of interactions with after Season 1 and never has any romantic chemistry with.

damn so like, bylers have become so enabled and comfortable, that they know posting objectively misogynstic, dehumanising bullshit about a fc (whos done nothing, and their fave character literally benefitted from her misogynistic writing all s5, just to die at age 16) will be played off for laughs and comedy.

and the thing is, bylers who would be uncomfortable about this (and rightfully), don’t even say anything because theyre scared of being characterised and framed as a mileven and treated accordingly by being attacked.

There has to be some acknowledgement that this is objectively cult behaviour. You shouldn’t be scared to hold your own thoughts and opinions, you should feel free to discourage misogyny and bigoted behaviour. You shouldn’t want to surround yourself, as a woman, with a culture that propels misogynistic thinking. Yes this is a fictional character, but the ideology/rhetoric that leads you to find humour in that isn’t.

If you keep deflecting and characterising milevens as the enemy, and dont stop to look around, you will ultimately fail to see that the hostile environment bylers have created, makes for a more (or on par) unsafe and “unwoke” place.

Canonically we are shown she does/says things unprompted, including complimenting someone (calling Nancys picture “pretty” in S1) and unaware of social norms/boundaries (putting her fingers in Dustins mouth to inspect his teeth). She wouldn’t think twice about complimenting Mike, considering shes been sheltered from gender norms and thus expected behaviour (like calling mike pretty or beautiful etc). And then we see Mike be awkward when his mother is taking pictures of him throughout S2, obviously implying hes uncomfortable as any young kid is but we do know that he is deeply insecure based on S1, particularly when it comes to self-image. It would’ve been a nice contrast for Mike to receive the compliment in good faith, and also would’ve echoed the rest of their conversation which was about mutuality and doing things together: “I dont know how…” “I dont either. You want to figure it out?”

Honestly I think it’s a writing failure on the Duffers Part and also them not fully encapsulating Els character, (either not thinking critically or being blinded by their own understanding of gendered chivalry) cause it feels so real and true that it *SHOULD* be canon. And lowkey it is if your heart is pure enough.

all that for it to be them discussing their future together. their future ALONE, mind you😭

(this is not even mentioning the cheating freaks this fandom has)