LINGU-ACE-TIC

Listen, friends, I have to get serious for a second here.

This is Asriel. You may have seen me post about her. Like all good pet owners, I love her. She’s my little baby girl.

And yes, she loves walks! She also loves cuddles and flowers and pets! People have fully stopped their cars on the streets to tell me how cute she is. They stop and ask if they can pet her or hold her. They ask if they can feed her a blade of grass or a clover. And I usually say yes (provided the lawn in question doesn’t use pesticides) because Asriel loves attention and she loves getting a little sun and a little exercise.

But then I always hear it. Every single time I walk her, it’s inevitable. Someone will say, “What a great idea! We should look into getting a bunny!”

STOP

Or at least pause. I’m here to tell you a few things about bunny ownership that are less glamorous than when I walk her in the park.

Rabbits poop. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “lol my dog is a poop machine!” but you don’t get it. If you dismiss this then you have no idea how much a bunny poops.

This is Asriels litter box after one day. I came home from work to this. Doesn’t look like a lot? Imagine if I forgot to clean it one day. Picture this doubled. Picture it tripled. I clean her litter box twice a day, three times if you count the one in her sleeping pen. It is required that I do this, or else she will get sick, and so will people who come into my apartment. And on that note

Just because MY bunny is trained, doesn’t mean YOUR bunny can be trained. Not all rabbits will poop or pee in the litter box. Not all rabbits walk on a leash. Not all rabbits want to cuddle. Not all rabbits want to be picked up. You didn’t raise Asriel, and you didn’t see me train her. So you don’t know that I got her at a mere month old (the older a rabbit is, the harder they are to train). You didn’t see me follow her around the apartment for weeks with rubber gloves on. You didn’t see me spray her with a water bottle for trying to eat the carpet. You didn’t see me observe her behavior as carefully as possible so as to conform to her behavior, rather than expecting to train her in the same manner as a cat or a dog.

Rabbits have very specific diets. This isn’t like most pets where you can buy a specific brand of food and leave it at that. Asriel requires a harmonious mix of hay, pellets, vegetables, and fresh greens to keep her healthy and strong. The diets will vary depending on the individual rabbit and breed. ALL rabbits require CONSTANT access to hay for fiber and dental health. Pellets and vegetables (especially carrots, because they are high in sugar) should be given in limited amounts. Going against this diet is DANGEROUS. Digestion problems are very real in rabbits. Fun fact - did you know a rabbit can’t vomit? They have no way of expelling toxic substances aside from allowing their body to (at least attempt to) digest it.

Rabbits eat and chew on everything. This is not a habit you will break them of. It is in their nature. They see a cord hanging from the wall and it looks just like a delicious blade of grass to them. I have heard of rabbits eating entire textbooks, clothes, toys, cords, plastic, chewing on metal. They do not know how to differentiate between your favorite necklace and a tasty piece of celery.

Rabbits are EXPENSIVE. Asriel has to go to a specialized vet who has his office set up out of town. We have to take a cab to get there because no bus lines run there. That’s a $50 cab ride in addition to the $300 vet bill. Having her spayed alone was $350.

Vet visits are NOT optional Just because America doesn’t have any laws requiring rabbits be vaccinated or spayed/neutered, doesn’t mean you can neglect the healthcare of your rabbit. Regular veterinary visits are necessary to detect small issues before they become big ones. You need to seek out a vet who specializes in rabbit care and rabbit surgery. Spaying or neutering your rabbit will prevent hormone-driven behaviors and uterine cancer in female rabbits.

Rabbits need lots of space Bunnies have powerful hind legs that need to stretch, hop, jump, and run. A bunny trapped in a cage all day not only risks stress (which reduces your rabbit’s lifespan), but also depression and even muscular dystrophy. They need exercise and lots of freedom.

Rabbits bite and scratch Even Asriel does. As used as she is to being handled, when she wants down, she’ll let you know quick. They have sharp teeth and will nip if you do something they don’t like. Hell, some rabbits are cranky and will nip for no reason. Not all rabbits like to be handled. Just because Asriel cuddles under your chin doesn’t mean every rabbit will.

“But Typhon!” You may be saying, “Why even keep a rabbit if it’s so much work? Don’t you love your rabbit?”

YES! Asriel is the sweetest bunny and I am the luckiest bunny owner to have her. Dogs and cats are lots of work too, and nobody would argue that it isn’t worth keeping one.

But here’s the thing …

Every year, thousands of rabbits are adopted or purchased as Easter presents.

Every year, thousands of rabbits are abandoned, set free (a death sentence for domestic rabbits), or die because the people who receive them as presents do not know how to care for them.

It breaks my little bunny-loving heart. These are not bad people. I’m sure they wanted the best for their bunny. I’m sure they tried their best and just didn’t expect the commitment, or didn’t know any better.

Adopting a bunny means a commitment of 10 or more years. It is a financial and emotional commitment, and one that you should not take on without some SERIOUS research and preparation. I have sunk thousands of dollars into the care of my bunny, and while I cannot say enough that it is worth every penny, I bought her knowing what I was getting myself into.

So please, please, please say it with me …

Bunnies are not good Easter presents

Bunnies are not good Easter presents

BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EASTER PRESENTS

BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EATER PRESENTS

DO NOT BUY A CHILD A BUNNY FOR EASTER

DO NOT BUY ANYONE A BUNNY FOR EASTER UNLESS THEY ARE FULLY PREPARED TO CARE FOR IT

If you’ve read all of this and you still think you’d like a bunny - great! Goodness knows the shelters will be full of them a few weeks after Easter. I recommend giving https://rabbit.org/ a visit, and perhaps picking up a copy of The Rabbit Handbook by Karen Gendron. You should also do some research on veterinary care in your area, as well as calling up local pet stores to make sure they carry the supplies you’ll need to care for your rabbit. Make sure to get the supplies BEFORE you get the rabbit. No bunny should come home and not have a pen to sleep in.

Bunnies are great pets. They have a wide range of personalities just like cats and dogs. They can be shy, friendly, playful, skittish, cuddly, or nippy. All rabbits are good rabbits. I just beg of you, this Easter season, to remember that they are living creatures. They need constant care and attention, and while it’s well worth the effort, it’s not something to take lightly.

Asriel and I thank you for listening.

Listen, friends, I have to get serious for a second here.

This is Asriel. You may have seen me post about her. Like all good pet owners, I love her. She’s my little baby girl.

And yes, she loves walks! She also loves cuddles and flowers and pets! People have fully stopped their cars on the streets to tell me how cute she is. They stop and ask if they can pet her or hold her. They ask if they can feed her a blade of grass or a clover. And I usually say yes (provided the lawn in question doesn’t use pesticides) because Asriel loves attention and she loves getting a little sun and a little exercise.

But then I always hear it. Every single time I walk her, it’s inevitable. Someone will say, “What a great idea! We should look into getting a bunny!”

STOP

Or at least pause. I’m here to tell you a few things about bunny ownership that are less glamorous than when I walk her in the park.

Rabbits poop. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “lol my dog is a poop machine!” but you don’t get it. If you dismiss this then you have no idea how much a bunny poops.

This is Asriels litter box after one day. I came home from work to this. Doesn’t look like a lot? Imagine if I forgot to clean it one day. Picture this doubled. Picture it tripled. I clean her litter box twice a day, three times if you count the one in her sleeping pen. It is required that I do this, or else she will get sick, and so will people who come into my apartment. And on that note

Just because MY bunny is trained, doesn’t mean YOUR bunny can be trained. Not all rabbits will poop or pee in the litter box. Not all rabbits walk on a leash. Not all rabbits want to cuddle. Not all rabbits want to be picked up. You didn’t raise Asriel, and you didn’t see me train her. So you don’t know that I got her at a mere month old (the older a rabbit is, the harder they are to train). You didn’t see me follow her around the apartment for weeks with rubber gloves on. You didn’t see me spray her with a water bottle for trying to eat the carpet. You didn’t see me observe her behavior as carefully as possible so as to conform to her behavior, rather than expecting to train her in the same manner as a cat or a dog.

Rabbits have very specific diets. This isn’t like most pets where you can buy a specific brand of food and leave it at that. Asriel requires a harmonious mix of hay, pellets, vegetables, and fresh greens to keep her healthy and strong. The diets will vary depending on the individual rabbit and breed. ALL rabbits require CONSTANT access to hay for fiber and dental health. Pellets and vegetables (especially carrots, because they are high in sugar) should be given in limited amounts. Going against this diet is DANGEROUS. Digestion problems are very real in rabbits. Fun fact - did you know a rabbit can’t vomit? They have no way of expelling toxic substances aside from allowing their body to (at least attempt to) digest it.

Rabbits eat and chew on everything. This is not a habit you will break them of. It is in their nature. They see a cord hanging from the wall and it looks just like a delicious blade of grass to them. I have heard of rabbits eating entire textbooks, clothes, toys, cords, plastic, chewing on metal. They do not know how to differentiate between your favorite necklace and a tasty piece of celery.

Rabbits are EXPENSIVE. Asriel has to go to a specialized vet who has his office set up out of town. We have to take a cab to get there because no bus lines run there. That’s a $50 cab ride in addition to the $300 vet bill. Having her spayed alone was $350.

Vet visits are NOT optional Just because America doesn’t have any laws requiring rabbits be vaccinated or spayed/neutered, doesn’t mean you can neglect the healthcare of your rabbit. Regular veterinary visits are necessary to detect small issues before they become big ones. You need to seek out a vet who specializes in rabbit care and rabbit surgery. Spaying or neutering your rabbit will prevent hormone-driven behaviors and uterine cancer in female rabbits.

Rabbits need lots of space Bunnies have powerful hind legs that need to stretch, hop, jump, and run. A bunny trapped in a cage all day not only risks stress (which reduces your rabbit’s lifespan), but also depression and even muscular dystrophy. They need exercise and lots of freedom.

Rabbits bite and scratch Even Asriel does. As used as she is to being handled, when she wants down, she’ll let you know quick. They have sharp teeth and will nip if you do something they don’t like. Hell, some rabbits are cranky and will nip for no reason. Not all rabbits like to be handled. Just because Asriel cuddles under your chin doesn’t mean every rabbit will.

“But Typhon!” You may be saying, “Why even keep a rabbit if it’s so much work? Don’t you love your rabbit?”

YES! Asriel is the sweetest bunny and I am the luckiest bunny owner to have her. Dogs and cats are lots of work too, and nobody would argue that it isn’t worth keeping one.

But here’s the thing …

Every year, thousands of rabbits are adopted or purchased as Easter presents.

Every year, thousands of rabbits are abandoned, set free (a death sentence for domestic rabbits), or die because the people who receive them as presents do not know how to care for them.

It breaks my little bunny-loving heart. These are not bad people. I’m sure they wanted the best for their bunny. I’m sure they tried their best and just didn’t expect the commitment, or didn’t know any better.

Adopting a bunny means a commitment of 10 or more years. It is a financial and emotional commitment, and one that you should not take on without some SERIOUS research and preparation. I have sunk thousands of dollars into the care of my bunny, and while I cannot say enough that it is worth every penny, I bought her knowing what I was getting myself into.

So please, please, please say it with me …

Bunnies are not good Easter presents

Bunnies are not good Easter presents

BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EASTER PRESENTS

BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EATER PRESENTS

DO NOT BUY A CHILD A BUNNY FOR EASTER

DO NOT BUY ANYONE A BUNNY FOR EASTER UNLESS THEY ARE FULLY PREPARED TO CARE FOR IT

If you’ve read all of this and you still think you’d like a bunny - great! Goodness knows the shelters will be full of them a few weeks after Easter. I recommend giving https://rabbit.org/ a visit, and perhaps picking up a copy of The Rabbit Handbook by Karen Gendron. You should also do some research on veterinary care in your area, as well as calling up local pet stores to make sure they carry the supplies you’ll need to care for your rabbit. Make sure to get the supplies BEFORE you get the rabbit. No bunny should come home and not have a pen to sleep in.

Bunnies are great pets. They have a wide range of personalities just like cats and dogs. They can be shy, friendly, playful, skittish, cuddly, or nippy. All rabbits are good rabbits. I just beg of you, this Easter season, to remember that they are living creatures. They need constant care and attention, and while it’s well worth the effort, it’s not something to take lightly.

Asriel and I thank you for listening.

God:

1. Haut comme trois pommes.

littéralement: high like three apples.

la signification réelle: to be very young or tiny.

exemple: « J’ai entendu cette chanson pour la première fois quand j’étais haut comme trois pommes. »

2. Tomber dans les pommes.

littéralement: to fall into the apples.

la signification réelle: to pass out.

exemple: « Après quelque shots, elle est tombée dans les pommes. »

3. Chanter la pomme (québécois).

littéralement: to sing the apple.

la signification réelle: to flirt, to sweet talk.

exemple: « Lui, il m’agace tellement. Il essaie toujours de me chanter la pomme. »

4. La pomme de discorde.

littéralement: the apple of discord.

la signification réelle: the bone of contention, the sticking point.

exemple: « Le nom de leur enfant était une pomme de discorde entre les futurs parents. »

5. Se sucer la pomme.

littéralement: to suck each other’s apple.

la signification réelle: to smooch, to make out.