A Collection of Things That Keep Me Up at Night

My father told me that a book written 2,000 years ago is more valid than the love I feel right now for another woman. I was taught that my body is a temple. But all I saw on church ceilings was men and women with ceiling hung jugulars because they were afraid of worshipping the wrong gender. I was told to hold my tongue during Sunday dinner. Because they were scared your name would spill past my lips like holy water.If love is a sin, I’d spend eternity walking barefoot across the pavement of Hell. I’d smile at my soul blistering to the sound of your voice. And I’d finally feel at home while I suffocated on the smoke from the flames I would endure whenever your fingertips touched my cheek. I was told a man would change me. That who I was would be broken down and I would be on my knees thanking God between his legs. My father told me that God exists. But the only heaven I’ll ever know lies within the bedsheets I shared with her every night.

There’s always going to be that one person where just the mention of their name will put a goddamn fist in your chest.