Gabrielle •°○

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Tbh I have such hateful feelings towards this scene but not for the reason u think (yea I still think it’s kinda ugly to the point where it’s giving AI but its not that)

How awful it is that it’s Madelyn who he sees at his lowest? At the church after A-train, when soldier boy starts to hate him. Stilwell fucked him up SO MUCH. I wonder if she was his first, I suppose. Is it important? Yes! His whole idea of love was molded on what she gave him! Even in this scene, he is such a freak about touch, about smell, everything. And for a man with superior senses this must be a nightmare. Lab was awful too, don’t get me wrong, it’s not all her fault.

But when he was saw the real world, he probably had a thought or two about how they lied to him. The world wasn’t in danger, he didn’t have to fight any monsters then. Meave probably pointed it out. But Stilwell needed him dependent, scared, delusional. Even in the animated episode when he’s like 17/18 idk, she just straight up harasses him just making the lab trauma worse. She’s smart I will give her that. He fully believes that he protects people, while the saves are scripted in reality.

It’s obviously SO his end, this whole panic attack/religious psychosis is so freaking awful. I hate it. He is so far in this delusion to the point where he feels comfortable with it, it’s similar to when a character just gives up and stops paying attention to the quality of their life. I’m sure he thinks this is his best for I just can’t watch it. It’s him prematurely romanticizing his own death

At least Toni is genuinely happy

The Boys 3x08 "The Instant White-Hot Wild" || The Boys 5x03 "Every One of You Sons of Bitches"