elina

in my smoothie i usually add a quarter cup of organic pasture-raised kefir, a newborn’s handful of wild organic blueberries, like 3 cups of spinach, exactly 7 californian almonds and 3 golden berries, a small tsp of irish sea moss and spirulina for my collagen production, a broken ashwagandah capsule to help my cortisol levels and i blend that all up in my ninja blender and drink out of my miranda kerr x royal dalton friends collaboration royal china tea cup whilst meditating in the morning sun to 540 hertz after i’ve put on 30 layers of la roche possay 50 SPF and the caudalie vino face perfect face spray. i take that with my probiotic, prebiotic, moon dust brain power capsule, oil of oregano, propolis shot, wheatgrass shot, ginger shot and then go do relaxing yoga on my alo mat wearing lululemon align tank top and shorts in size 0, obviously. by the time i’m in my third porsche 911 that my husband got me for my birthday, i’m positively glowing as i pick up the kids— Cashmere Henry Winters and Pine Nut Diamond Winters— from their polo class and harp lessons, respectively.

the lying witch of the west was now dead and her manolo blanhiks were nowehere to be found! unfortunately she drank tequila every night to quench the intense feeling of loneliness that crept in and never put on sunscreen so by the time she died at 31, she had the liver and face of a 77 year old hispanic man.

okay, so, actually, 2026 is gonna be my year.