˗ˏˋ pixie! ˎˊ˗

my disabilities impact my age regression a lot, so i'll list the big ones here in case anyone with them too ever wants to chat about them !!!

autism & ADHD

DID + my f/o / hubby / soulbond, leon, is my intrasys caregiver :3 i may post about him sometimes hehe!

hypermobile EDS

POTS

blog icon credit -> dayrisfelix divider credits -> kodaswrld , sunnimals

i’ve been working on figuring out some things regarding my age regression & things related to it with the help of my therapist,, making this blog is part of it!!

i’ve been reading some stuff here and it’s making me wonder more about .. my mental age. i’ve always felt like i’m way younger up there than i am physically, but i’ve been just forcing being adult-y for so long that i never got to figure it out ><

i feel like i have to Act like an adult and put on some kind of façade to get through the work day or Literally any other thing i have to do that requires #adulting. it’s also for some reason getting way harder to keep doing that, even at work….. i’m regressed like 90% of the time i’m at home now too, and i’m struggling to get chores done on my own :(

another thing is that my age regression is primarily something that happens involuntarily ,, i can’t rly control when i regress and when i get bigger again. not sure what this means either tbh

i just have always felt like a kid, yk? i’m turning 30 in a couple of weeks, and that sounds so… weird n insane to me if i think about it too long. i’ve always wished i was still a kid, that i could go back to being a little kid with some of the knowledge that i have now… omg god i want to so bad T___T i get sooo stressed out being adult-y against my will 😞

i also have been trying to figure out if my mental age IS rly younger than my physical one… i’m pretty sure it is??. i’ve been thinking back, and i think at the age of 24 i was possibly more like 17-18 years old mentally...

i also rly feel like i’ve always aged slower mentally than everyone else. thinking back further, i kinda realize i felt and acted more like a 4 or 5 year old until like…… 7 or 8 years old ???

i’m not quite sure how to go about figuring out this stuff. i’m gonna bring this part of it up to my therapist this week, but i also kinda wanna look into more myself too… but i don’t even know what to look up exactly @___@

it’s also hard bc of the extensive traumas i’ve experienced, what i do remember of both my childhood and early adulthood are fragmented or fuzzy, so i have to also rely on asking my childhood bff and family about things to double check ;;

i dunno.. just feeling frustrated right now abt this…. i wish i had someone to help me do stuff n cope with the uncertainty aa ;;;;; buh..