La Llorona

At least then I’d have something.

Anything.

Yet I sit here with nothing.

Nothing but this little Espeon.

I wonder if you still have the Leafeon to match

Or if you tossed it away

Unable to sit with the reminders of me

I forgot my jacket in the car..

I knew you would’ve given me yours.

The entire time I saw him on screen

All I could think about was you.

Especially after everything that happened

All it ever was, was you.

She might not remember

But I do.

I love you.

And I’ll always love you.

For the rest of my life.

Mine is one of them.

I’ll go watch it today after work

And think about you the whole time.

I’ll come home wishing I could talk to you about it

Wishing to see your smile

Your eyes light up as you talk about your favorite superhero

I guess I’ll never see that again.

I wish you wanted to be my friend.

I still have that long list of all your favorite things in my phone

I still love you.

Just for the spider man poster it came with

I’ve pre ordered my tickets for Brand New Day

I’ll sit in the theater by myself

Pretend I’m holding your hand

Pretend we are sharing food

Pretend you’ll loan me your jacket again

I’m always so cold in the theater

I didn’t have a hero I cared about before you

But now I’ll collect everything I can

And surround myself with reminders of you

You’re right. I’m sorry for asking.

I think of life and how it ends

Nothing lasts forever

How I’m almost 30 now

Close to 40 now

And then 50 comes and the wrinkles get worse

The body starts to slow down

Then 60 and 70

And then one day

Nothing

I’ll just be gone

A box buried in the dirt

And after all of these years

The years that feel so slow but pass so quick

Will I ever truly have a happy ending?

Or will I always be alone

Something no one will choose

Something no one will fight for

I’ll die with nothing but a lifetime of hurt to leave behind

That jewelry I bought myself before my trip to Texas this past April

The gold necklace with green gemstones

(Your favorite color)

The gold bracelet with purple and green stones

(Our favorite colors)

I wear them everyday.

At work

In the shower

When I sleep

They never come off.

And then I come home. And I’m alone. And all around me is you. Thoughts of you, visions of you. I never even got to hold your hand. Feel your lips. Run my fingers in your hair.

If you ever decide that I’m what you want, I will always be here waiting for you.

But I know better.

You won’t.