AVALON CROWN

Let me start by saying that Vivian is NOT Aromantic, but the likelyhood of experiencing a romantic attraction is low.   He’s Demiromantic and requires a very strong emotional bond to experience romantic feelings – which brings us to the fact that even if he does experience romantic interest, he probably won’t recognize that for what it is.  

On top of that, if anyone becomes interested in Vivian romantically, he will usually respond with fear, or pushing the person away.   If asked, he will openly tell someone that he’s not capable of loving someone – as he would never be able to give them what they require of him emotionally, and it would end in disaster when they eventually ask too much of him.  This is based 100% on his time spent with MERLIN, as that is almost his ONLY experience with romantic interest ( which was, in theory, one sided.  I say in theory because if Vivian ever DID feel something romantic for Merlin, he blatantly ignored it or did not recognize it, and now it’s too far in memory to recall what it was like to have GOOD feelings associated with that time. ) 

It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that Vivian has commitment issues.  He’s completely fine with relationships that don’t require an emotional commitment from him. 

If anyone is familiar with SEISHIROU SAKURAZUKA,  that’s a good comparison for how Vivian was && is.  Which is to say, Seishirou went his whole life believing he completely lacked emotions – only to fall in love with someone and not realize it to the extent that he murdered that person’s twin, and later allowed himself to be killed by them so he wouldn’t have to kill them.  ( && because his kind could only be killed by the ‘person they loved most’ but anyway ) 

“i can’t believe you.”

“are you serious?”

“we’re not finished. i’m not just going to let this go.”

“so you don’t trust me?”

“fuck you.”

“you know me! and the fact that you still think i’d do that hurts the most.”

“i miss the old you. i don’t want the person you’ve become.”

“you never understand.”

“you said the same thing last time.”

“i’m so tired of constantly doing this with you.”

“you don’t even try to see it from my perspective.”

“i’m not apologizing.”

“hell if i care.”

“this is fucking bullshit.”

“why are you always the one who’s breaking my heart?”

“i can’t do this anymore.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“i hate you.”

“you never keep your promises.”

“out of all the things you’ve told me, what was true?”

“i can’t even look at you.”

“do you even love me anymore?”

“i’m fucking done.”

“i shouldn’t have ever trusted you.”

“you’re being unfair.”

“i’m not going to keep being your little secret. i deserve better.”

“i’m leaving.”

“just… just go.”

“i thought you’d be the one to make me happy.”

“you don’t even pretend to care about me.”

“i don’t even remember the last time you told me you loved me.”

“don’t go.”

…good morning.

…goodnight.

…goodbye.

…where it hurts.

…where it doesn’t hurt.

…on a falling tear.

…to shut them up.

…in secrecy.

…in public.

…desperately.

…in joy.

…in grief.

…discreetly.

…casually.

…passionately.

…lazily.

…to distract.

…as encouragement.

…for luck.

…on a scar.

…on a place of insecurity.

…in a rush of adrenaline.

…in relief.

…in danger.

…as a ‘yes’.

…as an apology.

…as a suggestion.

…as a lie.

…as a promise.

…as comfort.

…after a small rejection.

…to wake yours up.

…forcefully.

…to pretend.

…to gain something.

…to give up control.

…without a motive.

…because yours is running out of time.

…because mine is.

…because the world is ending.

…because the world is saved.

…out of pride.

…out of greed.

…out of lust.

…out of anger.

…out of envy or jealousy.

…out of spite.

…out of habit.

…out of necessity.