lain

Currently making sure that my toxic homelife doesnt poison my decision making skills. Look to the future, dont be impatient, move through love not for love

What if you did things for growth, knowledge, and experience instead of ego and acknowledgment?

Very funny how my friend disengages from me when im fine. She only really cares about me when im in crisis, which is fine, but once I handle it myself she becomes completely uninterested in my life. I hate how selfish the people around me are.

Very soon I will be deleting all th/n5p0 from this account. I admire without envy, yet still work to be thinner and more toned. I accept that my body can never and will never look like theirs but there is a build that I will be happy with. I know it. I hope you can reach this point too. I will continue posting workout inspo and toning inspo but th/n5p0 no longer has a place on my blog.

I wish I had parents who listened to me and knew what I liked and surprised me with things that I enjoyed to make me feel better instead of having to crawl my way out of every depressive hole Ive ever been in myself with little to no emotional support. I wish I didnt have to parent myself my whole life or depend on my older sister for nourishment and attention. Every time I see someone who has loving parents who do kind things out of the blue for them I get irritated because what did I do to deserve parents so emotionally negligent. What did I do to deserve to beg for love and never receive it while others got it without even asking. Then I would look for love and acceptance in strangers and get hurt every single time. Now I cant even fully love my partner because there is something in the back of my mind that has been there since childhood that tells me I can only rely on myself, or worse, this is going to hurt so bad it’ll be the reason your life ends. Because my parents didnt love me right as a kid. I feel pathetic for even being in this much pain over it.

I dont need a therapist I need a life coach

I suppress so much of myself when Im around my parents