EVERY OTHER FRECKLE.

        ‘ this IS a distraction ... from everything you were talkin’ about a minute ago. ’

        ‘ well, we can talk about the drought –– or other pressin’ issues! ’

        ‘ no thank you ––– i feel JUDGED enough. ’

        ‘ look ––– i’m not interested in that, even if i have time for it. can we drop this, please? ’

        ‘ staying alive ... ? ’

        ‘ truth be told, finding the one & having sex aren’t things at the top of my priority list. ’

        ‘ me too, sister, but i’ve been prayin’ that the big man upstairs will cut this heat party short; maybe he’ll answer! ’

        ‘ i haven’t found THE ONE yet n’ i don’t wanna waste my first time on someone i don’t care about just to do it. ’

        ‘ that’s not a productive distraction though, you could be doin’ somethin’ –– anything –– else! look, i don’t have any intention of swipin’ my v-card anytime soon. you can’t get refunds on those types a’things. ’

        ‘ i don’t believe in having sex outside of a serious relationship so, no, that’s not the ONLY reason. besides –– who wants to do that right now? we’re in a drought, you could pass out! ’

        ‘ if you’re makin’ fun of me –––– – that’s NOT funny. ’

        ‘ are ya’ sure this isn’t one of those things where you say you don’t wanna talk about it but you really do? ‘cause i’ve got TWO ears you can talk off if ya’ need to! ’

        ‘ you’re dang right i’m not! random stranger plus moonshine plus s-e-x minus protection equals MINI SAVANNAH. i don’t even drink! do i –– do i give off the impression that i do any of those things? be real. ’

        ‘ well i’ve NEVER broken a law in my life & i never plan to. ’

        ‘ i feel like you’re bein’ sarcastic but i’ll take it; you never know when you’re gonna need some patriotism. let’s get goin’ then! which way’s the cliff? ’

        ‘ do i HONESTLY look like i’d do somethin’ illegal? ’