Nostalgia

You two are the only people who ever loved me for everything I was. I never had to act a certain way to get your attention. When I looked into your eyes, we fell in love.

2:44pm, 18th of July, 1996.

Dear Dad,

Like all fathers, you never had to stay with me. You could have left and lived your life the way that you always wanted. You did not have to stay with mom for nine months. But, you did. And don’t try to tell me that you didn’t want to, I know living with her was a living hell for you. And I’ll never be able to fully repay you for the years you put into us—this family. I will never be able to give you the equivalent of learning how to throw a football, or ride a bike. I’ll never be able to watch you do something that you’re passionate about and see the pride in your eyes. I’ll never be able to give you back the food you gave me from your plate, the water from your glass cup. I’ll never be able to give you everything you’ve given me. I know when I leave this home, it’s over for you. I’m not naive. I know I’m the only thing that has kept you alive for the past twenty-one years. And my heart is shattering that I can’t stay with you for longer to make you stay with me. I’ll never know a friend like you. You’ll always be the best friend I have ever had. My wife and children will come as close as possible, but they’ll never be able to overwrite your spot in my heart. I want you to be happy. I’m so sorry.

Dear Mom,

First of all, thank you for being my biggest fan. I don’t think I know another mother that could be proud of her child for standing on the sidelines in a game. I remember after every game, you’d tell me how impressive it was, “you jumped down there after your team scored and you about jumped five feet high!” but I was always on the sideline. But you didn’t care. You loved me more than anyone ever has or will. You always comforted me, especially when I didn’t want you to. You’re good for that. I’m so sorry that I was never the son that you deserved. A mother like you... Oh, how blessed I am. I’ll never know a soul as kind as you. I don’t want to leave you. You’re the only other person who has stayed by my side when I was incorrigible and hardheaded. I feel bad for all the people in the world that never had a chance to meet you. As you know, I’m an atheist; a fact that you despise more than I can fathom. So, I do not believe in a God. But, I do believe in angels. Because I swear on life that you are one, sent from some special place. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be an angel to you. You deserved better.