Thoughts in white
It was one of those freezing days that winter brought from time to time. It was already night hour, but the stars didnât take all the fame this time. White carpet formed merley from water molecules had covered the city, concrete roads, walkways, trees and rooftops. Thick snow didnât seem to care where to stop, cold white snowflakes in the size of a cherry pit kept nestling onto Ginozaâs black hair. He wasnât wearing a hat nor gloves. His winter coat was already half wet on the outside, but he still felt quite warm. His one hand was in his coatâs pocket, while the other, mechanic one, was holding leash which kept his Siberian husky, Dime, near him.
Even though it was late evening, the city was unusually calm. Rarely anyone was out due to weather conditions, be it walking or using traffic. City lights were reflecting on the blindingly white snow cover, giving the city a whole different atmosphere from the usual, highly technological, urban place.
It was strange that Ginozaâs every step was leaving prints of his boots in the snow, followed by the crunchy sound of breaking the small ice crystals beneath his foot. Usually, working drones, street cleaners, would make sure that no one got hurt by cleaning the walkways as soon as possible. It was just the matter of time, but they didnât seem to have come to this place yet, so the fairly new enforcer used it to enjoy the sound of nature in the busy, so nearly perfect, yet far from it, city. For the time being, it gave the impression of peace of mind, even without street scanners that would make sure to keep the streets clean from anyone whose state of mind even slightly escalated from the safe zone. Peace that everyone so hardly wanted to achieve. One could almost pretend that the system never existed. Just couple of months ago, this thought would be too stressful for Ginoza to even try to comprehend. Now that he was declared a latent criminal, it didnât matter. He wondered how it was back in the time when his father lived. Without the perfection of society. Was the peace in such small matters like for example, the weather around him? Could it be that it was indeed possible to maintain the clear state of mind in such world? He didnât think so, but it was interesting to think about it.
Illusion disappeared as soon as he passed one street scanner. He was never again going to achieve the ideal hue, that much was certain. His state of mind changed, and he couldnât reverse his way of thinking. It was Ginozaâs first winter after being demoted. He had long accepted his new position of a mere âhoundâ, Enforcer that worked under the Inspector, a position that he once used to hold as well. It was the only place he would be accepted in this society with a stained hue. Think as a criminal so that inspectors wouldnât cloud themselves with such thoughts. That was the point. But someone had to do the dirty job as well. He had made peace with that fact.
What he still struggled to accept was the fact that many people that happened to be in his life, are no longer there. People whose existence he took for granted, until it was already too late.
His father gave his life to save his own and he didnât even get the chance to give him a proper thanks. He felt that only now did he began to understand his father, whom he despised for years. Secretly, he was craving his attention. In the past, he was never going to admit that. Now he was aware of it and fully accepting it, but unfortunately, it was too late for it to happen.. The attention he longed for so long lost itâs final grain of hope. At least there was one person that got and appreciated it.. Before jealous of /him/, now he was glad that at least someone got bits of it. Bits of his fatherâs attention, engraved into his /best friend/. Another person that suddenly went missing from his life. Sometimes when he would walk alone, he would imagine his friendâs familiar voice coming from behind him, together with the smell of freshly lit cigarette. That was what came to his mind that time as well. 'Hey Gino, whatâs up?â He even hoped for it to happen, but it never did. He was angry with him, angry that he decided to leave without as much as a single word. Disappointed as much as furious at him. But from the very bottom of his heart, he hoped that the other was alive and well. He kept saying the others to let go. To forget about him and never bring any hopes to their mind. When in fact, he had never fully let go. He tried, but it wouldnât happen.
At least now, he learned one thing for certain. He learned to appreciate people that still are in his life. At that moment, he was grateful. A faint smile appeared on his lips as he looked up into the sky, letting the snowflakes dance across his pale face. It was kind of nostalgic, but he also appreciated the moment. Dime, who seemed to have noticed his smile, wagged his tail with joy and suddenly decided to jump, tackling his unready owner and proceeding to lick the snow from his face. Ginoza laughed at that from his heart, as he pet the dog while still sitting in the deep snow.Â













