All in the Golden Afternoon

The first time our eyes met across a crowded room, it was not love at first sight. Love did not grab me by the throat. Instead when I looked at you, I saw the flowers in the meadow I used to play in as a child. What I mean to say is, every time I think of you, I remember the safest, most sacred place I ever knew. Every time I touch you, my whole body blossoms with wildflowers.

Knowing that there are so many amazing people who are currently with someone who does not appreciate them for what they’re worth is heartbreaking.

Nobody warns little girls that girlhood is a war. Even when they teach us to dress in politeness for armour, force us to smile as a shield, yet they give us no weapons, because good girls aren't supposed to have swords at the ready. No one says the words, "The world is a battlefield not the meadows we promised you. When the forest fire comes for you and it will, the best you can do is run."

Why do I have to be the one who ends up feeling stupid and horrible about a relationship that ended badly? Why do I have to be the one to feel like I should have fought harder? Why do I feel like crap even with knowing that you didn’t try anywhere near as much as I did?

Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll run out of words to describe this: I love you. It’s all I only yearn for to picture in your head. Maybe because I’m hoping it will be enough to make you stay. Or just make you feel as if this was just the beginning; where we couldn’t contain our blaring chests, our hands stung at momentary accidental contacts, shy eyes looking down at our feet instead of at each other, scared one didn’t ignite the same spark. Because now, it’s feeling a lot like I’m skimming on the pages leading more closely to the back cover where the summary of our story is printed. Unlike my words which have a chance of chapping my lips dry, where my mind might have a shortage of production when my creativity decides to go on a vacation, I don’t want us to have a chance at all of writing our ending. Let me have you, here, right now, for always, with feelings the same intensity, sturdy without a sign of breaking the promises and dreams we’ve already built. Unlike words that I can lose, I don’t want to lose you.

I’m use to being forgotten about So when you told me everything got to hectic I’d just slipped from your mind I wasn’t even surprised Hurt yes Surprised no

Amuse me with the adrenaline rushing alongside the swiftness of your hands cupping my jaw as it fell, jolting intensely with the motion of your lips on mine and all I could do was scream without a sound, silently accepting your sudden imposition to kiss me, eyes closed to only feel my soul dwindling among the glinting stars, so high I can feel my wobbling knees lose its ground. Floating. Going into a shock of indefinite proportions to the curve of your smile you managed to form as you kept kissing me, and said, I love you, and I’ve never felt how this ride should never reach its point where friction halts your kisses, where the tension drives your breaths to stop beating as quick as your heart, and the end relaxes along with your jaw, and your hands are not raised anymore to hold my neck cracking to the sound of your breathless moans. Instead, they fall on your sides, eyes burning from the ride, while I watch you and want more. I swear I can kiss you all day even if I’m so afraid of adrenaline, even if I’ve never been fond of losing control whenever I rode anything that made me feel I was being pulled in all directions, where my heart has cried over things that I am afraid will only knock me out, and kick me in with my weakness. But I want you to make my chest collapse as your sturdy hands hold my face as if it’s something worth to never let go of as the air washes our eyes, knocking out the concept of how to properly use our lungs because we are now our own oxygen, with the humidity from our own bodies melting my fears to love you. Because you are the amusement I’d buckle with a seatbelt to cling on and bravely face the feeling of the unsteady safety and uncomfortable edginess of uncertainty to wherever this will take me. To wherever this will take us. You’d be there to show me I can be brave if I just trust you. Take me to a ride I’ve never taken. Let my heart experience the feeling where love leaves my heart in the open air, only to fall into the home of your arms, and you’d look at me saying, that wasn’t so bad. So kiss me. Kiss me, because I know this ride with you will lead to something epic.