Embroidery, Lace, & General Chaos

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"A marriage ending isn't a failure at all. I spent eleven years with her. We were so in love that we couldn't image life apart from each other. We got our own place, adopted a dog, and supported each other through school. I thought if tow people loved each other enough the rest would fall into place, except... love isn't everything.

And I didn't want to believe that, but we were sitting in counseling one day, talking about our future and I realized we were describing two completely different lives. Where we'd live, what kind of life we wanted, what made us happy. And it hit me that- I love this woman and this woman loved me. And after eleven years of loss, grief, career changes, we were so deeply in love... but we weren't aligned. And I kept thinking 'We just need to try harder. We can find some compromise to make this work,' because that's what you're supposed to do when you love someone, right?

But the reality was, we had just become different people. Her trade school took her in one direction, my graduate degree in another and trying to force us back into who we were five years ago wasn't coming from a place of love. It was coming from a place of fear. Fear that, if this ended, it meant we wasted eleven years. But sitting there across from her, I realized: That's not how love works.

Those eleven years happened. They were real. The dog, our home, showing up for each other through grad school and trade school. I wouldn't change a single thing because loving someone doesn't mean you're meant to stay with them forever. And letting go doesn't erase what you had. We measure marriage by whether it lasts forever or not, but what if we measured it by whether it mattered?

What if we measured it by the love we gave, the life we built, and the people we became? Because love's job isn't to last forever, it's to help you become fully completely yourself, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give each other permission to be yourselves, separately. But the dog doesn't know were' divorced. He just gets two Christmases now."

The fact that we can put fluids into people via IV saves more lives than I can actually communicate. There are so, so many more ways to die when we can't do that. You can go from literally at death's door from an illness you have no other cure for, to Basically Fine, You'll Feel Icky A Bit Longer But You're Otherwise Fine and Your Own Immune System Will Work Now, from sterile saline into a vein.

Or even fucking subcutaneous, under your skin. It still gets into your system faster and bypasses any fuckery going on in your gi-tract.

But you want the other end?

I recently got the answer to a crapload of symptoms of mine and it turned out to be Crohn's. Ileal crohn's.

For most of human history there was literally nothing to do about this but hope and pray that your immune system didn't decide to rip ulcers and lesions in your digestive tract to the point where you bled out, or the point where parts of it died and killed you with sepsis, or enough to build up stricture bands of scar tissue sufficiently to cause impactions or any other really gnarly and unpleasant ways you can die because for some reason your body decides the walls of your digestive tract are the enemy and need to be dismantled cell by cell. (Including a fuckload of cancers caused by the constant damage to the cell wall.)

Even as recently as when most of the younger people reading this were small children, mostly all you could do about it was take corticosteroids when you were in a flare. And that was better than Nothing. But at the same time, corticosteroids have a potential laundry list of side effects and you want to take them as little as possible and for as brief a period as possible. And there wasn't a lot else.

I am on a medication with the proprietary name "Skyrizi" and the generic name risankizumab. It's made from taking antibodies from a non-human source and then modifying their protein sequences to be more similar to human antibodies, after which they modify them further in order to make it so that the literal only thing they do is go into my body and bind to something called "tumour necrosis factor" so that this will stop flagging my own goddamn digestive system walls for destruction by the rest of the immune system.

Please feel free to read that paragraph over again.

There used to be a common, horrific illness that sailors would get, which was mysteriously cured by limes. People know about this one, it's scurvy. But there are other horrible ways to be sick from vitamin deficiency that weren't considered curable at all, and people had no idea what caused them.

Rickets is a disease caused by vitamin D deficiency where your bones get bendy and grow in the wrong shape (it is most apparent in children). It causes permanent deformity and very easy fractures, along with debilitating pain and persistent dental issues. Historically, it was known that milk, and later, cod liver oil, would improve or prevent it, but the reason was not understood until the vitamin was discovered.

Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome is a complication of alcoholism that leads to psychosis, dementia, and death if left untreated. Severe alcoholics used to just go completely mad before dying, basically. It ultimately results in permanent memory loss (retrograde amnesia), as well as the inability to form new memories (anterograde amnesia). It is caused by the fact that alcohol prevents the absorption of vitamin B1 (thiamine). It is treatable and preventable by giving the patient thiamine shots - if caught early, before permanent brain damage has occurred, it is fully reversible, although the underlying substance abuse issue still needs to be addressed to prevent recurrence.

Pernicious anemia is caused by vitamin B12 deficiency (in turn ultimately caused by an autoimmune issue causing poor absorption). It causes blood cells to be the wrong size and too few in number, resulting in dizziness and fatigue. It also causes neurological symptoms like tingling in the extremities, poor coordination, confusion, and, in late stages, dementia. There was no cure for pernicious anemia in the past. People would simply become anemic and die from it. That's why it's called "pernicious" - that's an old-fashioned way to say "insidious and deadly," named for its slow onset and then-incurable course. Now it is curable with vitamin tablets or periodic injections.

Cretinism, or, less stigmatizingly, congenital hypothyroidism due to iodine deficiency, is a developmental disorder caused by the inability of the thyroid gland to function properly without sufficient iodine. it causes short stature, intellectual disability, infertility, hair loss, and a large lump in the neck known as a goiter (i.e. a hypertrophic thyroid gland). It was historically associated with poor inland populations living far from the ocean (due to the protective effect of consuming seafood, which is naturally high in iodine). We now simply put iodine in table salt, and this disorder is virtually unheard of in regions where this is the case.

Neural tube defects are a leading cause of birth defects, infant mortality, and stillbirth. The most common nonlethal forms of neural tube defects include spina bifida, hydranencephaly, and encephalocele. These defects are caused by a failure of the embryonic structure that becomes the spinal canal to close properly during development, leading the central nervous system to have a distorted shape that may impair cerebrospinal fluid drainage and put pressure on the brain. In severe cases, e.g. anencephaly, the brain/spine essentially develop outside of the body, which is not compatible with life (anencephalic and iniencephalic babies typically die within hours or days; fetuses with more severe forms are usually stillborn if they are not terminated). The risk of these defects is drastically reduced by taking supplemental folic acid (vitamin B9).

Vitamin K is perhaps the most amazing one on this list. Newborns often have very low vitamin K levels due to the fact that it does not cross the placental barrier easily and is not found in high levels in breast milk. It is only produced by gut bacteria, which babies do not have when they are born, and it takes time for them to acquire the right flora from their environment. Deficiency impairs blood clotting, and in infants, can lead to brain bleeds and sudden, unexplained death. Tiny babies would simply die of brain hemorrhaging for no good reason at all. But if they're given a quick shot of vitamin K at birth, that doesn't happen.

Thank you for your suggestion! We all go through weight fluctuations in life, so it stands to reason our clothes should be able to fluctuate with us.

Resizing your clothes used to be a very common practice before the advent of fast fashion. Fast fashion sizing is extremely flawed, especially when it comes to plus size fashion, and we’re stuck with a lot of vanity sizing, so it’s a good skill to have regardless of whether you’re looking to mend something old or buy something new.

How to upsize clothes:

Introduction:

There are many different ways to make a garment larger. The following list is not exhaustive, just a few ideas to get you started.

Grading patterns:

If you’re making your own clothes, it’s always useful to know how to modify a sewing pattern. The easiest way to adjust a pre-existing pattern to your size is slash and spread grading. First, you need to define which spots on the pattern need extra space. You then cut your pattern in that spot, and slide the resulting pattern pieces away from each other until you’ve got the size you need. Use paper to fill in the gaps. To ensure the resulting pattern makes for well-fitting clothes, make a mock-up and add, move, or remove darts where necessary to adapt it to your body type.

The image below shows potential slashing lines on pattern blocks for an AFAB body. Unfortunately this was the only diagram I could find, but know that other types of patterns use similar line placements. Each line is a spot that allows you to add extra space. To read more about this process, check out the corresponding article by Threads Magazine.

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To make your clothes easier to let out in the future, make sure to provide ample seam allowance when cutting out your pattern pieces. This surplus fabric has several different uses, including giving you some wiggle room for when you need to size up your garment.

Now, let’s take a look at pre-made garments.

Lengthening clothes:

A garment that’s too short on you is easy to modify. Just add more material!

If it’s a skirt or a dress, add ruffles to the bottom. Ruffles are easy to make by hand or with a sewing machine. You could also add lace, or wear the item with an underskirt.

For pants, let down your hem or sew on a new cuff. If this isn’t enough, maybe consider turning your trousers into capri pants or shorts.

As for shirts, sewing an extra layer to the bottom edge is the easiest way to go, too. You could even combine two shirts into one to get an extra long shirt.

Another option is to cut your item in two and insert extra fabric between your separated garment parts.

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Letting out seams/darts:

Remember how we made sure to have ample seam allowance earlier? When a garment has surplus fabric in the seams and you only need a little extra space, you can undo the seams of your garment and sew them back together again, this time with a smaller seam allowance than before. The Spruce Crafts has a pretty good tutorial on how to let out seams. You won’t be able to make major size changes using this technique, but if you only need a few centimetres, this is a good way to go.

A lot of garments also have darts. Darts are fabric folds that are sewn down in strategic places to help the fabric follow the body’s curves. If a dart doesn’t fit you the way you want it to, then unpick the dart and try on the garment. Either leave the dart open, or pin the dart in place however you want it, then take off the garment again and sew the dart back together.

Be careful not to rip the fabric when using a seam ripper. Also note that removing entire darts may change the garment’s fit.

You can also add custom darts to achieve a better fit, but that’s a topic for another time.

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Adding extra fabric to your garment:

If we need to add more room than seam allowance or darts can provide us with, we need to add extra material. Remember those slashing lines we looked at earlier? If you’re working with a pre-existing garment rather than a pattern, those are the perfect places to chop up your clothes and add in extra fabric.

Check your sewing stash for fabric that’s similar in weight and material to your original garment, or go thrift shopping for an item you could use to upsize your garment. Long skirts and maxi dresses are a great source of fabric for alterations like these!

Lace inserts are also a fun choice to add some room, and if you’re working with a knit item, you could even knit or crochet your own custom insert.

Define the area where you want to add extra fabric on your item, and measure how much you need. Draw a straight line on your garment with chalk/soap. Make sure the line doesn’t cross any important structural or functional parts of your garment like darts or button holes: refer to the slashing diagram we saw earlier if you’re not sure what spot to pick. Cut the line open (or unpick the seam if it’s situated on a seam), and add in your extra fabric. Finish off your new seams so they don’t unravel later on, and you’re done!

You can add straight strips of fabric for extra width or length, or you could use flared panels or even godets to make your item flair out.

Want to see this technique in action? Check out this video by Break n Remake:

Some ideas:

This Pinterest user cut a straight line down the front of a t-shirt and inserted a lace panel to add extra width in the front of the garment.

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Busy Geemaw cut open the side seams of a shirt and used flared panels to add some extra width in the bust and hip area.

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This person added a panel to the sides of a pair of jeans to give them more space in the hip area. You could easily use a long straight panel or a panel that flares at the bottom to resize the entire garment instead of just the hips, or use a wide piece of elastic for extra stretch.

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This person added a godet in the back of their shirt in order to get more space in the back.

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Blue Corduroy enlarged a pair of shorts by opening up the side seams and adding in strips of fabric.

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You don’t need to resize the entire garment if you don’t want to. For example, One Brown Mom turned this ankle-length skirt with a too small waistband into a well-fitting knee-length skirt by taking advantage of the skirt’s flared shape.

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Conclusion:

Throughout our lives, our weight will fluctuate and our bodies will change. There’s no shame in this: it’s just a fact of life. Therefore, knowing how to upsize an item that is too small for you is a useful skill to learn.

I post the first 3 Fridays of the month, then do a livestream on the fourth Friday (this month's may not happen, fyi. I expect PT is about to kick my ass), and then I do an extra video about something crochet-related for fifth Fridays when there is one.

I'm already warning folks right now, I'm going to sound like a massive asshole in this one.

Trade and freedom of navigation has underwritten American and world prosperity for the 20th and 21st centuries. Trade helps reduce the cost of living and freedom of navigation helps ensure people and goods can live life relatively free of interruption. The large and global presence of the United States and its alliance networks in Europe and the Indo-Pacific helps deter war.

If you think maintaining a global military is expensive, you have no idea how expensive an actual outbreak of war is. In the Second World War, defense spending was about 40% of GDP. In today's money, that would be the US spending 12.4 trillion on defense. Supplies were needed for the war so many things were rationed. Meat was so valuable the West saw cattle rustling return. Nuclear weapons help deter war, but smaller conflicts don't reach the nuclear threshold no matter what Putin's mewling would have you believe.

In the early 20th century, smallpox was a fact of life. Now it's a historical footnote. We don't think about smallpox, we don't pattern our lives in any shape around it. The same is true of trade and navigation. The prosperity it generates is taken for granted. As a society, we don't remember their lack, we don't give our situation context. And so we look at the system that ended war having not known it and say: "What's that for?" We'll burn it down, impoverish ourselves, and wonder how we got here. We did it after the fall of the USSR, and now we want to do it more because we have the attention span of a goldfish and slopulists will grift us while robbing us blind. And we will smile and clap along.

Thanks for the question, Anon.