this is why

Wow. I can't believe I'm writing this. Here I go.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I'm writing this at the airport on my phone without thinking too much. So, sorry if I mess up with the grammar or something 🙏 (by the time I'm uploading it I'm already at home cause I wanted to add some pictures).

I made this account very recently because I was embarassed about fangirling too much at my main blogs where irl people followed me.

I dedicated this account mostly to aruani (snk) fandom but you've probably realized that I also share a lot Paramore stuff.

Well, I wasn't planning on ending anonymity anytime soon but... something BIG happened to me.

Last thursday I was able to go to my first Paramore show ever at Dublin. I've been dreaming about it for so many years. I've watched so many videos of fans going up stage at Misery Business and I've cried so many times watching them. I travelled from Spain, wrote in a huge sign "I crave to sing with you", arrived at queue at 8:15 am aprox, and waited (I had General Acces tickets!). The amazing Tom gave us some numbered wristbands so we could leave the queue and stay warm and healthy without losing our spot. He was the sweetest. Meanwhile I took a walk around, lucky enough to meet Brian Robert Jones and take a pic with him!!! Around 4 pm we were back at the queue and, yes, I was able to be at the same spot. ❤️

The second I entered the arena and realized how close I was to the stage I started ugly crying hahahaha. Rozi Plain was so sweet, Bloc Party was awesome (I really like them as well!!). And then they came out. At that moment I wasn't even crying anymore, I think I was disassociating a bit 🤣

They were amazing. Hayley is so talented, pretty and fun. THE ENERGY. I was holding up my sign maybe for too long and I could hear some people complaining about it behind me, which I totally understand... I felt so bad I started crying about it so I decided to not hold it up again until Misery Business :_) But soon the guilty tears turned into emotional tears, and I cried a lot during most of the show. I was SO EMOTIONAL during Last Hope... 🥺

AND THEN

Misery Business starts. Time to make Hayley spot me 🙏 Omg my stomach hurts while writing this... you probably know where this is going. SHE. PICKED. ME. SHE FUCKING PICKED ME. I didn't realized, my boyfriend literally had to tell me because I was so nervous I didn't realized. Ok I think I'm going to cry again hahahaha.

She said she had been watching and knew exactly that it was going to be me. I can't believe it. At that moment I was so euphoric that I just went with the flow. Obviously I'd been preparing myself for this but you need to know I'm a very socially akward person, I have many anxiety issues, but IDK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME BUT I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF 😭😭😭 Hayley hugged me very hard, I told her I love her and thanked her a billion times. She is very tiny and I'm a big tall person but she PET MY HEAD 😭😭😭❤️ I can't believe she was so sweet!!!! I did it, I sang the song, I danced with Hayley, she said my name, we headbanged together... an amazing dream come true. I asked her to sign my (diy grow up) jacket and SHE DID IT!!! I was told to left very quickly (obviously 🤣) but she managed to sign it for me on time 🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I also brought a marker in my pocket on purpose). I mean I WAS SO READY FOR IT 😭❤️

After that people were AMAZINGLY NICE TO ME. THANK YOU ALL WITH ALL MY HEART. It means the world to me that the other fans felt happy for me, so many people congratulated my, you are in my heart FOREVER. I felt kinda bad because I'm from Spain and I started thinking that maybe I didn't deserve it, that it should have been anyone from Dublin... I find it very difficult to feel worthy of all the goods things that happen to me, and to hear so many fans telling so many nice things, hugging me, even asking for pictures... You really made a difference in me. I'm crying. I wish I could share with you the feeling. THANK YOU DUBLIN. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ❤️

This has changed my life forever. I also met Louise from Bloc Party after the show and she was LOVELY, eveything about that night has inspired me forever. I've been dreaming about making music by myself since I was a little child and just started to actually make it (kinda 🤣) a few months ago. But now... I feel so blessed and inspired I'm gonna try harder from now on.

MY WILDEST DREAMS CAME TRUE. Thank you Hayley for choosing me, thank you Paramore for changing my life, thank you Dublin for the unforgettable experience, thanks to the lovely fans I met there, and THANKS TO MY AMAZING BOYFRIEND for being there with my ALWAYS by my side. He knew it was going to be me. He fucking knew. I'm so grateful. I've been crying since that night. I'm crying right now and I'll never stop crying about this. This is a once in a lifetime experience, I am the luckiest person. A picture could not contain the way it feels.

WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU AND WE ARE PARAMORE. ❤️

Pics by Eleanor (check out her work omg):

Pics by Charlie:

Pic by Laura:

Something I’m always in awe of, is how love is depicted in Attack On Titan. Mostly, because it feels realistic and relatable. Love isn’t always the big, over-the-top Romeo and Juliet type.

Love is Eren wrapping a scarf around Mikasa.

Armin regularly going to see Annie.

Love is Levi and Hanji knowing each other so well, they’re able to communicate without the need for words.

Historia trusting Ymir so much, that she was the first one she revealed her real name to.

Love isn’t always flowers and big confessions like the ones we see in movies or media. Daily, human love lays in the detail. It’s in consistency, in those little day-to-day gestures a person can have with another. it’s in waiting for your partner with a nice meal at home, in sharing a moment of comfort, in understanding eachother by just looking into one another’s eyes. it’s in protecting and caring and nurturing and motivating.

And it’s why love in Attack On Titan will always feel real. Palpable. Beautifully subtle.

To me, it will always be grounbreaking how, in a world so full of hatred, Isayama managed to create so many unbreakable bonds of the most imperfectly pure love, and how he was able to explore love in all of its different phases and colors.

Love between brothers/family:

Love between friends:

Idolatry (the tpye of love that makes you go blind)

Unrequited love:

Grief (the loss of someone you loved):

New-found love:

It will always be close to my heart, how Attack On Titan shows love at every corner, in every frame: in words of hope, in helping somebody who struggles, in the will to protect somebody at the highest of costs, in the joking and teasing in affectionate ways. It’s all there, in the small, in what the eye doesn’t always see. It’s always been.

The scene that absolutely got me was when Annie hugged Reiner, T-KT OST kicking in, and the 104th saying thier goodbye to Ann in a friendly manner.

It reminded of thier Season 1 friendship back when everything was mostly okay 💔