Im Rotting

When he asks me if I believe in love a thousand memories flash through my mind First when I was 8 and my daddy said “i love you kiddo” and I cried because he was drunk and maybe in the back of my mind I knew that was the last time I would see him And I see my uncle kiss my aunt and hug my cousins and I And tell us that he loves us more than life Then six short months later he shoots himself in the field we used to run through I think if the time my cousin Dani had her baby girl and her boyfriend said he would love her forever Now seven years later my cousin is a single mom and her baby girl has never met her daddy And I think of my aunt Ronda When she said I do and so did uncle Scott For better and for worse Now she’s chain smoking on her back porch And he’s driving around town with a bottle blonde on the back of his motorcycle And the time when her and I laid on my couch And she traded the scars on my hip bone She told me she’d love me until the end of time Now I’m laying on my bed with you at 2 a.m. And you ask me if I believe in love Fighting back tears I smile and say I don’t know anymore