Lately it feels Like im alone even when people are around. Jack tries her best to try & be there for me but shes not exactly a comforting kind of person....so every time i get overwhelmed or my minds busy elsewhere i dont really have any1 to talk to about this kind of stuff so i just keep shut & try to work thru it mentally as best i can...reassure myself that im doing my best & itll be ok in the end. Everythings gonna be ok....itll be ok.....itll be ok.

Finally getting my p5! Yay!!! Gets dropped of in 3 days. Ive been saving on & off for this thing for a long time so it feels good to finally do it.....now i got myself something nice but now i wanna get something for jack! Its only fair, plus its her damn birthday soon.

I miss you mom....

How am i supposed to feel rn? What am i supposed to do?. Got up to make my left overs to discover its not only gone, she made food for just herself & thats it.....i didnt even ear today. I just got home from an 11 hour shift......HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?! but u know ehat i cant get mad right? I cant feel hurt. I cant do anything besides sit here, stomach hurting, my head almost spinning from the fact i only had not even half of a single order of food in the last 2 days.......but im not allowed to get upset....so ill sit here & just eat my feelings, grab this feeling in my chest tight till it burns my hand & just accept it....im just a wallet. An extra source of income.

Im so tired..... not even just sleepy, i just don't want to do this anymore.

Waking up to find out 1 of your heros has died fucking sucks, its 6am & im silently crying cuz toriyama sama has passed & i never got to meet him.