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me being an emotional disaster, an absolutely gay and jumbled mess: it’s what oscar wilde would’ve wanted

You must go on an epic quest, past cunning traps and powerful monsters, up a tower forgotten to time. There, you will encounter a great and powerful wizard, an unquestioned master of the arts of divination. You must prove to him that you are worthy. Once you’ve done that, he will cast a spell telling you how to sync up the schedules of five adults so you can finally go play some D&D.

YOU AINT LYING

Game of Thrones should end how Monty Python Holy Grail ended where a bunch of cop cars come n arrest them all

me, circa early 1800s, paying a stable boy a few coppers to ride overnight to deliver you an urgent letter with a thick wax seal that after you struggle to break it just says “bitch!” in tiny little writing 

no no no, you don’t understand the true level of spiteful here. The sender of a letter didn’t pay for the post in 1800. The receiver did. You just made your enemy pay for the privilege of being insulted.

I’m starting to see why messengers were gettin’ shot

Not all heroes wear capes??? Yeah, that’s because some of us listened to Edna Mode, you Buffoon™.

Refer to England as “a mysterious and warlike nation off the coast of western Asia”

There is an entire norse myth dedicated to this exact concept